Looking for Julie

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Authors: Jackie Calhoun
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fingers.
    “Edie lives in Stevens Point. She came down here to rescue her nephew,” Claire said with a smile.
    “That true?” Janine said lazily in a smoky voice.
    Edie felt big and awkward and out of place. Pam rescued her. “How you doing, Janine?”
    Janine gave her a slow smile. “Good, Pam. You keeping us all safe from those homophobes?”
    “I could do with some help from you two.” Pam grinned suddenly. “But that’s okay. Your job is to show the world that we’re not all fat and ugly.”
    Edie looked at her in astonishment. She opened her mouth to say, “I’m not fat nor are you,” and then shut it without uttering a word. She fervently wished she’d driven home or gone to a motel.
    From then on she talked only to those who talked to her. Quite a few of the small crowd knew Lynn and asked if she did as well, sparking conversations about how much Lynn had done for gay rights, she and Frankie.
    “Where is Frankie?” Edie asked.
    “Out of town,” someone said.
    Edie’s gaze kept wandering to Claire and Janine. After they left together, her desire to socialize tanked. She realized how tired she was and wanted to leave too.
    As if reading her body language, Pam brought Edie her jacket and asked if she was ready. “Follow me,” she said before they slid into their cold cars.
    Pam’s apartment was on the first floor of an elegant old house. It had a wraparound porch and Edie thought it unfortunate that it had been converted into rental units. A computer desk stood under a large window in the living room. Papers were strewn around the laptop and printer. There was a small TV and DVD on a stand against another wall. A chair that folded out into a single bed futon faced it, as did a small sofa and an easy chair. Papers and books and magazines were piled on the floor between the chairs and sofa. The kitchen was only large enough for appliances and a small table under another window. The other doors were closed.
    “Hey, nothing fancy like your house,” Pam said, apparently registering Edie’s thoughts. “I didn’t have time to pick up.”
    “It’s homey, a great place to crash, which is what I have to do before I fall down.” She was suddenly exhausted.
    “I’ll sleep out here. Just give me a chance to change the sheets on the bed,” Pam said.
    “No, I’ll sleep here.” Edie tapped the futon. “Just get me a blanket and a pillow and I’ll be good to go.”
    Pam stood looking at her a moment. “I’m sorry, Edie. The place doesn’t always look like this.”
    “I don’t care, Pam.” She smiled. “I’m just grateful to have a place to sleep.”
    When the lights were out, Edie found herself staring at the ceiling, unable to sleep. Finally, she turned on the light next to the futon and picked up one of the books off the floor. It was one she’d read years ago, a novel by Julie Alvarez, In the Time of the Butterflies , about the four Mirabel sisters, three of whom were murdered in the resistance against the dictator Trujillo in 1960 in the Dominican Republic. She got halfway through the book and fell asleep. She woke up when a yawning Pam emerged from the bedroom in the morning.
    Pam saw the book lying open on Edie’s chest and said,  “Didn’t you sleep at all ? I knew I should have made you use my bed. That futon is so hard.”
    “I’m okay. Really.”
    While eating toasted bagels, she brought up Claire and Janine. “They make a beautiful couple.”
    “They fight constantly. If they lived together, they’d kill each other. They are opposites. Black and white.” She laughed. “They are black and white in every way.”
    “Well, they seemed pretty cozy last night.”
    “I know, but I’ll bet they were at each other’s throats before the night was out.”
    “No kidding?”
    “Nope. None. I agree that they make a stunning couple, though.”
    “They do,” she said a bit too wistfully, then almost laughed. Was she lustful? Yes. She’d love to take either of those women to

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