Loaded

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Authors: Cher Carson
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watch the game with his friends. He had a few too
many drinks, so I offered to give him a ride home.”
    “Okay, so you’re not too far.
When will you be home?”
    “Mama…” How could she find
the words to tell her over-protective mother that she didn’t intend to come
home at all tonight?
    “Don’t tell me there’s
something going on between you two?” When Rachel didn’t respond right away, she
sighed. “Girl, are you crazy? You can’t afford to get mixed up with him. That
man has had it in for you ever since you gave his sister those dancing lessons…
then the fiasco with those girls who were working for you. How do you know this
isn’t part of his plan? Maybe he did some digging into your past and found out
you’re on the run. How do you know he isn’t getting close to you just so he can
take you down? Think about it; it would certainly be a smart way for him to get
even and get you out of town for good.”
    Her mother used to love Law
& Order , back in the days when they could afford the luxury of a TV.
Now she passed the time checking mystery books out from the local library.
Rachel tried to convince herself that it was just her mother’s overactive
imagination spinning an outlandish tale, but she couldn’t afford to be that
naïve. Her mother could be right. Tucker admitted to the background check.
Maybe he was on to her, and this was his way of getting close enough to make an
arrest. But if that was the case, why didn’t he just get it over with? He
didn’t seem like the kind of man who would use his position for sex, but she
didn’t know him well enough to say for sure. Given her history with men, she
knew there were no guarantees.
    “Are you still there?”
    “Yeah, Mama, I’m here.” She
looked at her reflection in the mirror above the sink. She was bone-tired and
it showed. Her eyes were rimmed with red, her liner was smudged, her lipstick
had long since worn away, and her long, thick mass of red hair was tousled from
Tucker’s big, rough hands.
    She wished she could get a
reprieve from her life. One day of fantasy, where she could allow herself to
believe that a man as handsome, sexy, and accomplished as Tucker Carlton could
really fall in love with a girl like her without having an ulterior motive.
    “Honey, what’s wrong?”
    Joyce Benson wasn’t known for
her mild-mannered disposition. She was tough; she’d had to be to survive, but
there were times when she seemed to sense that her daughter was nearing her
breaking point and just needed someone to tell her that somehow, some way,
everything was going to work out. She obviously sensed this was one of those
times.
    “I know it sounds weak, but
it just felt so good when Tucker was holding me in his arms tonight, Mama. He
made me believe that he really liked me, that he cared about what happened to
me. No man has ever made me feel that way before.” She grabbed a tissue off the
vanity and swiped at the tears gliding down her cheeks.
    Joyce sighed. “Oh, baby,
that’s all I’ve ever wanted for you, to find a man who makes you feel that way,
but you and I both know that Tucker isn’t the man for you. He can’t be… you
know that.”
    Rachel couldn’t help but
wonder if things would be different if Tucker wasn’t a cop. Would he try and
protect her from her psychotic ex-husband? Would he understand her need to run?
She would never know for sure because she could never risk telling him the
truth. Not only was he a cop, but he was the top cop in this neck of the woods,
and with that title went the responsibility of ensuring that every citizen,
herself included, obeyed the laws.
    She sniffled as she sank down
on the closed commode. “Maybe someday I’ll find someone like Roy.” Roy was her
mother’s “friend.” Joyce refused to label him her boyfriend, even though they’d
been seeing each other for eight years. Leaving Roy was another one of the many
sacrifices her mother had made to ensure she and Maddie were safe. She

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