Read Online Little Miss Lovesick by Kitty Bucholtz - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Kitty Bucholtz
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hightailed it for the safety of our room.
Fun self-esteem building would have to wait for another day.
THE next morning, I slept in while the others took one last shot at fresh fish before we left for home. Having reconciled myself to the fact that it’s nature I enjoy, not fishing, I sat on the porch swing most of the morning, thinking. I’d wanted an escape from my life so I could figure things out. I got the escape, but still had no idea what to do when I returned home.
I thought about Matt. Did the fact that I was so attracted to him mean my heart was healing? Or did it mean I was a complete basket case, a loser who couldn’t go a day without a man in her life? I couldn’t figure it out. I’d lost all perspective on my life.
I leaned my head back against the porch swing and rocked. The birds sang choruses all around me. I heard a squirrel chatter. Occasionally the leaves rustled in the breeze. I took a deep breath and let it out.
Maybe now was the time to simpl y decid e to feel better. The words of my junior high gym teacher echoed in my head: “Fake it till you make it.” Could I do that? Could I hold onto this peace that I felt right now?
Surprised, I opened my eyes and stopped rocking for a moment. Hey, I di d feel at peace. It’s been so long, I didn’t even recognize it at first. A lazy grin spread over my face as I closed my eyes and started rocking again.
After a while, I went inside and grabbed a banana and a bag of Reese’s Pieces (nutritious, I know) and headed off into the surrounding woods. I wanted to savor the peace and quiet for as long as possible. When we returned to the city tonight, my life would be there waiting for me. Maybe I could come back with a new attitude and that would make the difference.
At least I won’t have to wonder about Matt. I have absolutely no interest in trying to see someone who lives so far away. Maybe the flirting this weekend really was a sign that I’m getting over my Heartbreak.
I stuffed my banana peel into the candy bag and put it in my pocket. The trees, the ferns, the birds, the woods — it all calmed me. (I know, calming ferns, weird. But I love ferns. They’re like living lace.) I smiled and sighed. It was a fragile peace, but I thought I could hang onto it.
Maybe when I got home I’d keep my eyes open for a guy with some of Matt’s characteristics. Funny, good-natured, part Tom Sawyer, part Hugh Jackman. Surely someone like that lives in Traverse City.
Maybe by the time you find hi m , said a Voice , you’ll be ready to do something about it.
Yeah, that’s a good plan. Take my time. Keep my eyes open. Relax and enjoy the good life I have. Then when I meet someone, I won’t have any baggage to deal with.
I made my way back to the lodge, arriving as the others were packing up their fishing gear. Matt stood by the porch, collecting the fishing poles. He smiled as I approached. Yeah, I’d like to meet a man with such a kind smile.
“Have a nice morning?”
I closed my eyes dreamily. “Wonderful,” I said. “I sat on the swing, then explored the woods. Eavesdropped on about a hundred conversations between the birds.”
He chuckled. “I’m glad you enjoyed yourself.”
“I just wish I could stay longer and wander around some more.”
“I wish you could, too.” His smile warmed. He stopped working on the fishing poles and leaned forward. “You know, I—”
Before Matt could finish, Mikki brought him her pole and regaled me with stories of “the ones that got away.” As much as I was thrilled no one caught anything this morning — I hated to think about being in an enclosed space with several dead bodies for seven hours — I wanted to know what Matt was going to say. But he’d gone to put the fishing tackle away.
When everyone was packed up, we hauled our stuff to the van. Patty loaded everything in, often interrupted by Ted or Matt who had a better idea on how to make it all fit. The three of them were funny
Fun self-esteem building would have to wait for another day.
THE next morning, I slept in while the others took one last shot at fresh fish before we left for home. Having reconciled myself to the fact that it’s nature I enjoy, not fishing, I sat on the porch swing most of the morning, thinking. I’d wanted an escape from my life so I could figure things out. I got the escape, but still had no idea what to do when I returned home.
I thought about Matt. Did the fact that I was so attracted to him mean my heart was healing? Or did it mean I was a complete basket case, a loser who couldn’t go a day without a man in her life? I couldn’t figure it out. I’d lost all perspective on my life.
I leaned my head back against the porch swing and rocked. The birds sang choruses all around me. I heard a squirrel chatter. Occasionally the leaves rustled in the breeze. I took a deep breath and let it out.
Maybe now was the time to simpl y decid e to feel better. The words of my junior high gym teacher echoed in my head: “Fake it till you make it.” Could I do that? Could I hold onto this peace that I felt right now?
Surprised, I opened my eyes and stopped rocking for a moment. Hey, I di d feel at peace. It’s been so long, I didn’t even recognize it at first. A lazy grin spread over my face as I closed my eyes and started rocking again.
After a while, I went inside and grabbed a banana and a bag of Reese’s Pieces (nutritious, I know) and headed off into the surrounding woods. I wanted to savor the peace and quiet for as long as possible. When we returned to the city tonight, my life would be there waiting for me. Maybe I could come back with a new attitude and that would make the difference.
At least I won’t have to wonder about Matt. I have absolutely no interest in trying to see someone who lives so far away. Maybe the flirting this weekend really was a sign that I’m getting over my Heartbreak.
I stuffed my banana peel into the candy bag and put it in my pocket. The trees, the ferns, the birds, the woods — it all calmed me. (I know, calming ferns, weird. But I love ferns. They’re like living lace.) I smiled and sighed. It was a fragile peace, but I thought I could hang onto it.
Maybe when I got home I’d keep my eyes open for a guy with some of Matt’s characteristics. Funny, good-natured, part Tom Sawyer, part Hugh Jackman. Surely someone like that lives in Traverse City.
Maybe by the time you find hi m , said a Voice , you’ll be ready to do something about it.
Yeah, that’s a good plan. Take my time. Keep my eyes open. Relax and enjoy the good life I have. Then when I meet someone, I won’t have any baggage to deal with.
I made my way back to the lodge, arriving as the others were packing up their fishing gear. Matt stood by the porch, collecting the fishing poles. He smiled as I approached. Yeah, I’d like to meet a man with such a kind smile.
“Have a nice morning?”
I closed my eyes dreamily. “Wonderful,” I said. “I sat on the swing, then explored the woods. Eavesdropped on about a hundred conversations between the birds.”
He chuckled. “I’m glad you enjoyed yourself.”
“I just wish I could stay longer and wander around some more.”
“I wish you could, too.” His smile warmed. He stopped working on the fishing poles and leaned forward. “You know, I—”
Before Matt could finish, Mikki brought him her pole and regaled me with stories of “the ones that got away.” As much as I was thrilled no one caught anything this morning — I hated to think about being in an enclosed space with several dead bodies for seven hours — I wanted to know what Matt was going to say. But he’d gone to put the fishing tackle away.
When everyone was packed up, we hauled our stuff to the van. Patty loaded everything in, often interrupted by Ted or Matt who had a better idea on how to make it all fit. The three of them were funny
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