Read Online Little Conversations by Sibylla Matilde - Free Book Online
Authors: Sibylla Matilde
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and dainty. Dapple gray
with little pointy ears. Big dark eyes. She looked so… sweet. But she
totally freaked when you tried to ride her.”
“Hmmm, sounds a bit like a girl I know. Learn any tricks
from her, did you?” Ronin asked, and she could feel the gentle tease in his
voice.
“You have no idea,” she sniffed a sad little laugh, trying
to joke back, but appearing more melancholy than amused. “The thing was, she
was so sweet when you weren’t trying to ride her. A little shy, but she got to
where she’d trot over to the fence when she saw me coming. Granted, it was probably
more for the oats than anything. But she’d also whack me with her nose to get
me to scratch her behind the ears.” A cloud slowly floated across the moon as
she talked quietly, and the room darkened ever-so-slightly before lightening
again a few minutes later. “The minute she felt the weight on her back, though,
she’d go into full panic mode, like she was terrified. You could just feel the
dread in her build. She’d let you take her so far, and then it was like she
just couldn’t take it anymore. Like she had to escape.”
Devin turned her head again to look up at Ronin in the
shadows. He lifted his hand, his thumb smoothing over her troubled eyebrow and
down the side of her face.
“Sounds a lot like a girl I know.”
Devin swallowed against the lump developing in her throat,
turning fully into his arms, pressing her face against his neck. She took a
shuddering breath. This conversation, for skirting around the reality of the
other night in this very room, was so raw and direct. He tightened his
embrace, smoothing his hands over her back, feeding her his strength.
“Thing is, not every guy is going to rip you apart like
ass-hat Jake.”
Devin gave a morose chuckle, although it sounded more like a
sniffle.
“Somehow, honey,” Ronin said softly, kissing the top of her
head, “somehow, you’ll get over this. It sucks. It hurts. It’s awful, but it
won’t last. I’m speaking from experience here.” Ronin paused for a moment,
thoughtfully nuzzling her hair. “Kim… She wrecked me.”
Chapter 6 – Kim
Devin absorbed the quiet words he’d just spoken, trying
to decide if she should ask. “So, who was Kim?” she finally whispered as she
traced a pattern on Ronin’s T-shirt-covered chest with the tip of her finger.
It took a moment for him to respond.
“Kim was a girlfriend I had, for a couple years, actually.
It was pretty serious. I thought it was, anyway.”
“What happened?” she asked when he didn’t say anything else.
“She got pregnant.”
She looked up at him with wide eyes. “So, you’re a dad?” she
asked in a small, quiet voice.
Ronin shook his head. “Didn’t really turn out that way. She
wasn’t sure what she wanted to do. Keep it, give it away, get rid of it. I
tried to be a stand-up guy, let her make the decision for herself. She decided
she wanted to get an abortion. It tore me apart, and yet it relieved me at the
same time. And then, the fuckin’ relief made me feel guilty. I didn’t know
what to think. But, I offered to take her, to pay. On our way to the clinic in
Bozeman, she broke down, sobbing that she couldn’t do it. She said she changed
her mind, said she wanted to keep the baby.”
He took a deep breath, and continued. “Crazily enough, I
actually got kinda excited. I hadn’t really felt like anyone’s family in a
long, long time and this little… person… would be part of mine. Forever. On
the way home, we started making plans. We talked about getting married. All
the way back, things just seemed to click.”
It seemed difficult for him to continue. Devin rested her
hand on his cheek, grazing her thumb along his chin. “Then what happened?” she
coaxed.
“I went out on a job for a few days feeling like things were
going so well. We had a date
with little pointy ears. Big dark eyes. She looked so… sweet. But she
totally freaked when you tried to ride her.”
“Hmmm, sounds a bit like a girl I know. Learn any tricks
from her, did you?” Ronin asked, and she could feel the gentle tease in his
voice.
“You have no idea,” she sniffed a sad little laugh, trying
to joke back, but appearing more melancholy than amused. “The thing was, she
was so sweet when you weren’t trying to ride her. A little shy, but she got to
where she’d trot over to the fence when she saw me coming. Granted, it was probably
more for the oats than anything. But she’d also whack me with her nose to get
me to scratch her behind the ears.” A cloud slowly floated across the moon as
she talked quietly, and the room darkened ever-so-slightly before lightening
again a few minutes later. “The minute she felt the weight on her back, though,
she’d go into full panic mode, like she was terrified. You could just feel the
dread in her build. She’d let you take her so far, and then it was like she
just couldn’t take it anymore. Like she had to escape.”
Devin turned her head again to look up at Ronin in the
shadows. He lifted his hand, his thumb smoothing over her troubled eyebrow and
down the side of her face.
“Sounds a lot like a girl I know.”
Devin swallowed against the lump developing in her throat,
turning fully into his arms, pressing her face against his neck. She took a
shuddering breath. This conversation, for skirting around the reality of the
other night in this very room, was so raw and direct. He tightened his
embrace, smoothing his hands over her back, feeding her his strength.
“Thing is, not every guy is going to rip you apart like
ass-hat Jake.”
Devin gave a morose chuckle, although it sounded more like a
sniffle.
“Somehow, honey,” Ronin said softly, kissing the top of her
head, “somehow, you’ll get over this. It sucks. It hurts. It’s awful, but it
won’t last. I’m speaking from experience here.” Ronin paused for a moment,
thoughtfully nuzzling her hair. “Kim… She wrecked me.”
Chapter 6 – Kim
Devin absorbed the quiet words he’d just spoken, trying
to decide if she should ask. “So, who was Kim?” she finally whispered as she
traced a pattern on Ronin’s T-shirt-covered chest with the tip of her finger.
It took a moment for him to respond.
“Kim was a girlfriend I had, for a couple years, actually.
It was pretty serious. I thought it was, anyway.”
“What happened?” she asked when he didn’t say anything else.
“She got pregnant.”
She looked up at him with wide eyes. “So, you’re a dad?” she
asked in a small, quiet voice.
Ronin shook his head. “Didn’t really turn out that way. She
wasn’t sure what she wanted to do. Keep it, give it away, get rid of it. I
tried to be a stand-up guy, let her make the decision for herself. She decided
she wanted to get an abortion. It tore me apart, and yet it relieved me at the
same time. And then, the fuckin’ relief made me feel guilty. I didn’t know
what to think. But, I offered to take her, to pay. On our way to the clinic in
Bozeman, she broke down, sobbing that she couldn’t do it. She said she changed
her mind, said she wanted to keep the baby.”
He took a deep breath, and continued. “Crazily enough, I
actually got kinda excited. I hadn’t really felt like anyone’s family in a
long, long time and this little… person… would be part of mine. Forever. On
the way home, we started making plans. We talked about getting married. All
the way back, things just seemed to click.”
It seemed difficult for him to continue. Devin rested her
hand on his cheek, grazing her thumb along his chin. “Then what happened?” she
coaxed.
“I went out on a job for a few days feeling like things were
going so well. We had a date
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