Read Online Lisbon: Richard and Rose, Book 8 by Lynne Connolly - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Lynne Connolly
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three babies, and I had every intention of obeying my advisors and resting.” I reached for him but dropped my hand by my side. He had to reach for me. I couldn’t bear it if he shook off my touch. “I’m not weak anymore, Richard.”
“Yes you are. A long day pulls at you.”
“In other words I have to be completely myself again before you’ll touch me?”
His teeth grazed his lower lip, in a way I would have done anything to emulate. My teeth, his lip. “Something like that, yes.”
“You could be waiting forever.”
At that, a sign of relief crossed his features. “I don’t mind. I’ll wait.”
“What if I stay like this?” I had no intention of doing so, but I wouldn’t tell him that now because I couldn’t guarantee it. “It’s only a slight weakness. Every other part of me is fine.” I meant one particular area.
“It’s not been long. Have you no patience?” I saw the irritation in his face, the way the muscles tightened around his mouth. Telltale signs he’d have hidden with anyone else. At least I had that. At least he was letting me back in that far.
“The midwife and the accoucheur told me that after two months I would be well enough to resume relations. Richard, it’s been nearly four months. I’m not asking for a return to the all-night loving we once engaged in, but—couldn’t you just touch me?”
No longer able to resist, I reached out and laid the tips of my fingers against his right arm. I held my breath. Would he accept me?
He stared down at my hand, then, very slowly, lifted his left hand and put it over mine. His warmth suffused me, flowed through me, bringing my senses to life. It had always been that way between us. He raised his gaze from our hands to my face. The blaze of arousal seared me, but I was returning it.
“This is why,” he said, his voice husky with desire. I had missed that sound, imagined it in the long, lonely nights. “I can’t touch you without wanting you. Keeping away from you makes it worse, but I don’t know what to do about that. It’s what we have now and what we have to cope with. You look so damned fragile, I hardly dare touch you.”
“You’ve known thin women before. It doesn’t make them fragile. And now I’m moving around and taking exercise again, my appetite is back and I’m regaining my curves. I thought perhaps this shape didn’t appeal to you, that you couldn’t like it.” Just one of the concerns that had kept me awake at night.
He was quick to reassure me. “No. I would want you however you look. You could lose arms and legs—God forbid—and I’d still want you. But the fragility unmans me.”
“Could you try?”
He glanced down, but I couldn’t see his state of tumescence because his banyan covered his groin. “I could. I want to throw you to the floor and take you like an animal would.”
My mouth dropped open. “You never told me that.”
His laughter echoed around the room. “You expect me to confess something of that nature? It’s shaming, especially when you were so ill. But that isn’t the reason I won’t take you now. It’s fear, pure and simple. I can’t lose you.”
“I could—”
He interrupted me with an impatient, “Yes, I know. Drown, fall from a high place. It doesn’t seem to make any difference to the way I feel.”
“It’s not just that. It’s holding you, talking to you, being with you.” I stopped there, tears clogging my throat. “Don’t shut me out, Richard, please. Leave a way through.”
He released my hand but only to place his hands on either side of my waist and draw me closer. I went so willingly and nestled against his chest with a sigh of relief. Now I could feel his arousal, hard and strong, burning through to me as if it rested against my bare flesh. Remembered tingles returned, coursing my body with a delicious invitation. I knew better than to continue, as once I would have done without a thought. I had to take care, or he’d move away.
“I
“Yes you are. A long day pulls at you.”
“In other words I have to be completely myself again before you’ll touch me?”
His teeth grazed his lower lip, in a way I would have done anything to emulate. My teeth, his lip. “Something like that, yes.”
“You could be waiting forever.”
At that, a sign of relief crossed his features. “I don’t mind. I’ll wait.”
“What if I stay like this?” I had no intention of doing so, but I wouldn’t tell him that now because I couldn’t guarantee it. “It’s only a slight weakness. Every other part of me is fine.” I meant one particular area.
“It’s not been long. Have you no patience?” I saw the irritation in his face, the way the muscles tightened around his mouth. Telltale signs he’d have hidden with anyone else. At least I had that. At least he was letting me back in that far.
“The midwife and the accoucheur told me that after two months I would be well enough to resume relations. Richard, it’s been nearly four months. I’m not asking for a return to the all-night loving we once engaged in, but—couldn’t you just touch me?”
No longer able to resist, I reached out and laid the tips of my fingers against his right arm. I held my breath. Would he accept me?
He stared down at my hand, then, very slowly, lifted his left hand and put it over mine. His warmth suffused me, flowed through me, bringing my senses to life. It had always been that way between us. He raised his gaze from our hands to my face. The blaze of arousal seared me, but I was returning it.
“This is why,” he said, his voice husky with desire. I had missed that sound, imagined it in the long, lonely nights. “I can’t touch you without wanting you. Keeping away from you makes it worse, but I don’t know what to do about that. It’s what we have now and what we have to cope with. You look so damned fragile, I hardly dare touch you.”
“You’ve known thin women before. It doesn’t make them fragile. And now I’m moving around and taking exercise again, my appetite is back and I’m regaining my curves. I thought perhaps this shape didn’t appeal to you, that you couldn’t like it.” Just one of the concerns that had kept me awake at night.
He was quick to reassure me. “No. I would want you however you look. You could lose arms and legs—God forbid—and I’d still want you. But the fragility unmans me.”
“Could you try?”
He glanced down, but I couldn’t see his state of tumescence because his banyan covered his groin. “I could. I want to throw you to the floor and take you like an animal would.”
My mouth dropped open. “You never told me that.”
His laughter echoed around the room. “You expect me to confess something of that nature? It’s shaming, especially when you were so ill. But that isn’t the reason I won’t take you now. It’s fear, pure and simple. I can’t lose you.”
“I could—”
He interrupted me with an impatient, “Yes, I know. Drown, fall from a high place. It doesn’t seem to make any difference to the way I feel.”
“It’s not just that. It’s holding you, talking to you, being with you.” I stopped there, tears clogging my throat. “Don’t shut me out, Richard, please. Leave a way through.”
He released my hand but only to place his hands on either side of my waist and draw me closer. I went so willingly and nestled against his chest with a sigh of relief. Now I could feel his arousal, hard and strong, burning through to me as if it rested against my bare flesh. Remembered tingles returned, coursing my body with a delicious invitation. I knew better than to continue, as once I would have done without a thought. I had to take care, or he’d move away.
“I
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