He’s been working and going to school most days and if he isn’t there he’s either playing video games or working in the garage, doing his best to avoid me. I’m glad I haven’t seen him, part of me is scared about seeing him; I can’t help the churning in my stomach when I recall what happened at the party, I grimace at how I probably embarrassed him.
I stay in my room and end up playing a lot of solitaire on my laptop and catch up on reading. You can finish a lot of books when you only leave your room for food and bathroom breaks. Anything to keep me from having to interact with people and pretend I’m okay. Although I can’t help the nagging feeling in my chest that I miss Avery’s presence which is weird since I haven’t known him for long and yet he’s managed to worm his way into my life.
Chapter Ten
Thanksgiving morning dawns bright and early for me. This is something I’ve been dreading for awhile now. Dreading this day I pull the covers over my head and contemplate staying in bed all day. Hearing banging in the kitchen is a universal sign something is wrong. Blearily I reach for my phone, hearing more pans banging, a few curse words thrown in.
Oh geez. Sitting up rubbing my hands over my face I look around the dark room. There is an unpleasant feeling in my stomach. I feel dark; it surrounds me like a dark cloud. This will be the first Thanksgiving without them. I’m not sure I can mentally do this. Opening the bottle of Xanex I shake a few out into my hand and swallow them, taking a deep breath. Staring at the pill bottle I give myself a pep talk. I can do this. I can pretend for their sake. I will not ruin the holiday. Lying back I wait for the pills to take effect. To take me to a semi-happy place where I can pretend nothing is wrong.
***
Taking a long shower I let my emotions run the gamut where no one can hear me or knows what I am doing. Tears pour down my face mixing with the warm water I stand there letting it wash over me. A banging on the door startles me out of the emotional cloud I am currently in. Aggravated I yank the shower curtain so my head sticks out. “What is it?”
“What are you doing? You’ve been in there for like fifteen minutes!” Avery yells through the door.
“I’ll be out in a few minutes, leave me alone!” I yell back sticking my head back in the shower in hopes Avery leaves me alone. I grab the soap angrily and start scrubbing my arms really hard until they’re pink. What’s the big deal if I take a long shower? It’s not like I want to celebrate this holiday. Pulling open one of the drawers open I rifle through it looking for something sharp when I grasp what feels like scissors. I get a little bit excited and pull them out and see they are scissors for hair cutting. I feel like I’ve struck gold. Grabbing the scissors I open them up and put the cold sharp metal next to my wrist. Taking a deep breath I go to pull it across my wrist when the knocking starts again. What is with this house? Why can’t I have some freaking privacy? A small trail of blood comes to the surface from the scissors scratch. Shaken I pull myself out of my daze and turn off the water. Quickly grabbing a towel and wiping the small bit of blood away.
Stepping carefully on the fluffy blue bath mat I shakily sit down on the closed lid of the toilet. The scissors are still firmly clenched in my hand letting it go as if it was on fire if falls to the floor. Shaking I stare as they lay innocently on the floor. What is wrong with me?
Drying off I stare down at the bandage on my knee. Pulling it off to replace it I grimace. The lines are red and the skin is a disaster, my knee was so damaged that while they fixed the knee it will never look the same. It almost makes me want to throw up looking at it. There is more knocking at the door. Geez, What.The.Hell. Is with the knocking? This isn’t Grand Central Station? Why won’t people just leave me alone?
Opening
I stay in my room and end up playing a lot of solitaire on my laptop and catch up on reading. You can finish a lot of books when you only leave your room for food and bathroom breaks. Anything to keep me from having to interact with people and pretend I’m okay. Although I can’t help the nagging feeling in my chest that I miss Avery’s presence which is weird since I haven’t known him for long and yet he’s managed to worm his way into my life.
Chapter Ten
Thanksgiving morning dawns bright and early for me. This is something I’ve been dreading for awhile now. Dreading this day I pull the covers over my head and contemplate staying in bed all day. Hearing banging in the kitchen is a universal sign something is wrong. Blearily I reach for my phone, hearing more pans banging, a few curse words thrown in.
Oh geez. Sitting up rubbing my hands over my face I look around the dark room. There is an unpleasant feeling in my stomach. I feel dark; it surrounds me like a dark cloud. This will be the first Thanksgiving without them. I’m not sure I can mentally do this. Opening the bottle of Xanex I shake a few out into my hand and swallow them, taking a deep breath. Staring at the pill bottle I give myself a pep talk. I can do this. I can pretend for their sake. I will not ruin the holiday. Lying back I wait for the pills to take effect. To take me to a semi-happy place where I can pretend nothing is wrong.
***
Taking a long shower I let my emotions run the gamut where no one can hear me or knows what I am doing. Tears pour down my face mixing with the warm water I stand there letting it wash over me. A banging on the door startles me out of the emotional cloud I am currently in. Aggravated I yank the shower curtain so my head sticks out. “What is it?”
“What are you doing? You’ve been in there for like fifteen minutes!” Avery yells through the door.
“I’ll be out in a few minutes, leave me alone!” I yell back sticking my head back in the shower in hopes Avery leaves me alone. I grab the soap angrily and start scrubbing my arms really hard until they’re pink. What’s the big deal if I take a long shower? It’s not like I want to celebrate this holiday. Pulling open one of the drawers open I rifle through it looking for something sharp when I grasp what feels like scissors. I get a little bit excited and pull them out and see they are scissors for hair cutting. I feel like I’ve struck gold. Grabbing the scissors I open them up and put the cold sharp metal next to my wrist. Taking a deep breath I go to pull it across my wrist when the knocking starts again. What is with this house? Why can’t I have some freaking privacy? A small trail of blood comes to the surface from the scissors scratch. Shaken I pull myself out of my daze and turn off the water. Quickly grabbing a towel and wiping the small bit of blood away.
Stepping carefully on the fluffy blue bath mat I shakily sit down on the closed lid of the toilet. The scissors are still firmly clenched in my hand letting it go as if it was on fire if falls to the floor. Shaking I stare as they lay innocently on the floor. What is wrong with me?
Drying off I stare down at the bandage on my knee. Pulling it off to replace it I grimace. The lines are red and the skin is a disaster, my knee was so damaged that while they fixed the knee it will never look the same. It almost makes me want to throw up looking at it. There is more knocking at the door. Geez, What.The.Hell. Is with the knocking? This isn’t Grand Central Station? Why won’t people just leave me alone?
Opening
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