what you do to the back of my mind for as long as I can. I’ve tried to make myself believe that I am different, but I’m not. Your phone woke me up, ringing repeatedly all night. As much as I wish we’d met years ago, we didn’t, and I just can’t accept your lifestyle. Whatever we are, or were, has to end. It was never real. We were nothing more than a means to satisfy each other’s desires, just like the women who you work for, who call you at all hours of the night. I’m no different to you than any of them and I know that. I can’t be a part of it anymore…I’ll miss you, take care of yourself, Latch.
Abby
Dropping the note to the floor, I rest my hand on the wall. The air from my lungs has been stripped away from me. How could losing someone that was never really mine hurt so fuckin’ much?
Grabbing my cell phone off the coffee table, I notice there are thirteen missed phone calls, all from different clients. I ignore them and dial Abby, worried about her leaving and ending things like this. I know I am not the man that she wants, but for her I’d change, and she needs to know that. Her phone goes to voicemail after a few rings.
Sitting on the couch, I let out a deep sigh dialing her again, but she doesn’t pick up, so I send her a text, Please call me, I got your note. We need to talk.
I wait for her to respond, hoping that she will. Why would she do this after how perfect last night was? If she was feeling that way, she didn’t even give me a chance to explain my side of things. We could’ve made things work. I’d quit my job right now, if that’s what she wants. For Abby I’d do anything. Which is not like me, it’s what I’ve lived my entire life trying to avoid…but here I sit, dependent upon her for my sanity and it’s crazy how vulnerable I’ve let myself become.
Suddenly my own helplessness in this situation has me sitting here in anger. I’m willing to change my entire world for her, the least she could do is text me back. The blood coursing through my system is hot and I don’t know what else to do. I could go to her house, but that would just make things worse with her husband, which I don’t want. Looking at my phone again, I keep waiting, but deep down know that she is not going to text me back. Tossing my phone on the table in frustration, I grab my keys and look down at the note on the floor, picking it up before heading out. I need some perspective on things before I let my mind start to run and do something that I’ll regret.
I wipe the tears away from my eyes after leaving Latch’s so suddenly. He was sleeping so peacefully and it killed me to walk out, but the man I want him to be and who he really is are two completely different people.
Getting out of the cab, I walk back into my life, back into the madness. I don’t want to be doing this, but after being with Latch last night and feeling the pull that he has over me, I know this is what I have to do. He provokes something inside of me, something so strong it scares me, and there is no way it’ll end well, unless I stop it now. If I think for one second that he’ll change and what we have could be real, I’m only kidding myself. For Christ’s sake, his phone rang all night long, a different woman’s name every time, and it made me wonder, had I not been there, would he have been out fucking all of those women? My gut says he would’ve.
It’s still early as I open the door and look around the dark condo. Darrell is tranquil, passed out in the same spot that I left him. The note I left seems to be untouched and I’m tempted to throw it away, but I worry that he saw it and will question me when he wakes up about why I did that.
Heading to the bedroom, I change out of my dress and wash my face. Looking at my pale countenance, I can still feel Latch’s lips on mine. I run my fingers over them, wishing that things could be different. Heading to my bed, I get under the covers and curl up in a ball, tucking the
Abby
Dropping the note to the floor, I rest my hand on the wall. The air from my lungs has been stripped away from me. How could losing someone that was never really mine hurt so fuckin’ much?
Grabbing my cell phone off the coffee table, I notice there are thirteen missed phone calls, all from different clients. I ignore them and dial Abby, worried about her leaving and ending things like this. I know I am not the man that she wants, but for her I’d change, and she needs to know that. Her phone goes to voicemail after a few rings.
Sitting on the couch, I let out a deep sigh dialing her again, but she doesn’t pick up, so I send her a text, Please call me, I got your note. We need to talk.
I wait for her to respond, hoping that she will. Why would she do this after how perfect last night was? If she was feeling that way, she didn’t even give me a chance to explain my side of things. We could’ve made things work. I’d quit my job right now, if that’s what she wants. For Abby I’d do anything. Which is not like me, it’s what I’ve lived my entire life trying to avoid…but here I sit, dependent upon her for my sanity and it’s crazy how vulnerable I’ve let myself become.
Suddenly my own helplessness in this situation has me sitting here in anger. I’m willing to change my entire world for her, the least she could do is text me back. The blood coursing through my system is hot and I don’t know what else to do. I could go to her house, but that would just make things worse with her husband, which I don’t want. Looking at my phone again, I keep waiting, but deep down know that she is not going to text me back. Tossing my phone on the table in frustration, I grab my keys and look down at the note on the floor, picking it up before heading out. I need some perspective on things before I let my mind start to run and do something that I’ll regret.
I wipe the tears away from my eyes after leaving Latch’s so suddenly. He was sleeping so peacefully and it killed me to walk out, but the man I want him to be and who he really is are two completely different people.
Getting out of the cab, I walk back into my life, back into the madness. I don’t want to be doing this, but after being with Latch last night and feeling the pull that he has over me, I know this is what I have to do. He provokes something inside of me, something so strong it scares me, and there is no way it’ll end well, unless I stop it now. If I think for one second that he’ll change and what we have could be real, I’m only kidding myself. For Christ’s sake, his phone rang all night long, a different woman’s name every time, and it made me wonder, had I not been there, would he have been out fucking all of those women? My gut says he would’ve.
It’s still early as I open the door and look around the dark condo. Darrell is tranquil, passed out in the same spot that I left him. The note I left seems to be untouched and I’m tempted to throw it away, but I worry that he saw it and will question me when he wakes up about why I did that.
Heading to the bedroom, I change out of my dress and wash my face. Looking at my pale countenance, I can still feel Latch’s lips on mine. I run my fingers over them, wishing that things could be different. Heading to my bed, I get under the covers and curl up in a ball, tucking the
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