got your panties in a twist?" I said, locking my door behind me and giving it a testing shove. A lot of people didn't lock their doors, but it was a force of habit.
"You, as a matter of fact. Come on!" she said, grabbing my arm and pulling me away.
She wore her standard Goth uniform: high black boots, leather jacket, short black skirt over black tights. If her skin wasn't so pale, she'd blend perfectly into all the shadows outside.
We practically jumped down the stairs, and outside I had to speed walk in order to keep up with her long strides. The chilly evening air prickled in my lungs and burst from my lips as lips as I huffed.
"Seriously, what's up?" I said. I hugged myself against the chill.
As usual, there wasn't really anyone else outside at this time of night. We walked by another dorm building all lit up from within. Jim's wasn't that far away, but I wished it was closer.
So Cal never really got cold like this. The weather here had so much more variety. Tonight, the sky was overcast, blocking out the moon and the stars.
"I finished my stash this morning while finishing an essay," Jenn said.
So that's what it was all about. More pot. I decided to have some fun.
"Well why didn't you just say so? I coulda grabbed the bag in my bottom drawer!" I said, stopping and throwing my hands out in mock surprise.
She stopped and rounded on me. "You have some? Why didn't you say so?"
"I'm joking. I don't have any. God, you should see the look on your face!"
She narrowed her eyes at me, staring me down until I looked at the sidewalk. Damn, she was good at that.
Then she gave me a shot to the shoulder, put her arm around me and pulled me close.
"The pretty ones are always the evil ones," she said.
"Yeah, yeah. Come on, you addict. Let's get you something before you get the shakes on me."
There were already a dozen people jammed into Jim's room. Jim himself sat on his bed between a couple girls I didn't recognize. The air was hazy with that pungent smoke I was already too familiar with.
The twins waved at me, so I sat beside them at the foot of the bed while Jenn went straight for Jim and the joint he was puffing.
"Hey, California, what's up?" Cheryl said. Or was it Janice? I still couldn't really tell the two of them apart. Why did twins always go around wearing the same outfits?
Though, if I were a twin, I'd probably enjoy screwing with people like that, too.
They had their own joint. Cheryl tried passing it to me, but I waved them off. I found I liked just hanging out with people around my own age.
Someone, probably Jim, turned on some heavy metal. The heavy beat and the incomprehensible screaming of the singer underscored the conversations in the room. My senses felt like they were being overloaded. I could practically taste the smoke, it had gotten so thick.
Breathing it in also gave me a bit of a buzz, and that strange numb feeling.
Jenn sat down beside me, looking pleased with herself. The sides of our bodies touched as she shoved in closer to me to make room for someone trying to get by and talk to Jim.
"You look happy," I said.
"I feel much better!" Jenn said. She threw her arm over my shoulder.
I leaned my head back against the mattress and closed my eyes, just letting the sounds of the party wash over me. I really was beginning to like being here a lot.
In my semi-dazed state of mind, the guilt came over me. I'd talked to mom yesterday over the phone for about twenty minutes. She'd only been able to manage that much. The regimen they had her on at the center was really kicking her ass.
Part of me knew that I should be back there, taking care of her, talking to her, comforting here.
But the other part knew that it was just so right to be right where I was, with the people around me. They made me feel good, like the person I knew I should have been before the cancer diagnosis. It was like my life had paused there, and going to Redeemer had been like hitting the "Play" button again.
"Now you're the
"You, as a matter of fact. Come on!" she said, grabbing my arm and pulling me away.
She wore her standard Goth uniform: high black boots, leather jacket, short black skirt over black tights. If her skin wasn't so pale, she'd blend perfectly into all the shadows outside.
We practically jumped down the stairs, and outside I had to speed walk in order to keep up with her long strides. The chilly evening air prickled in my lungs and burst from my lips as lips as I huffed.
"Seriously, what's up?" I said. I hugged myself against the chill.
As usual, there wasn't really anyone else outside at this time of night. We walked by another dorm building all lit up from within. Jim's wasn't that far away, but I wished it was closer.
So Cal never really got cold like this. The weather here had so much more variety. Tonight, the sky was overcast, blocking out the moon and the stars.
"I finished my stash this morning while finishing an essay," Jenn said.
So that's what it was all about. More pot. I decided to have some fun.
"Well why didn't you just say so? I coulda grabbed the bag in my bottom drawer!" I said, stopping and throwing my hands out in mock surprise.
She stopped and rounded on me. "You have some? Why didn't you say so?"
"I'm joking. I don't have any. God, you should see the look on your face!"
She narrowed her eyes at me, staring me down until I looked at the sidewalk. Damn, she was good at that.
Then she gave me a shot to the shoulder, put her arm around me and pulled me close.
"The pretty ones are always the evil ones," she said.
"Yeah, yeah. Come on, you addict. Let's get you something before you get the shakes on me."
There were already a dozen people jammed into Jim's room. Jim himself sat on his bed between a couple girls I didn't recognize. The air was hazy with that pungent smoke I was already too familiar with.
The twins waved at me, so I sat beside them at the foot of the bed while Jenn went straight for Jim and the joint he was puffing.
"Hey, California, what's up?" Cheryl said. Or was it Janice? I still couldn't really tell the two of them apart. Why did twins always go around wearing the same outfits?
Though, if I were a twin, I'd probably enjoy screwing with people like that, too.
They had their own joint. Cheryl tried passing it to me, but I waved them off. I found I liked just hanging out with people around my own age.
Someone, probably Jim, turned on some heavy metal. The heavy beat and the incomprehensible screaming of the singer underscored the conversations in the room. My senses felt like they were being overloaded. I could practically taste the smoke, it had gotten so thick.
Breathing it in also gave me a bit of a buzz, and that strange numb feeling.
Jenn sat down beside me, looking pleased with herself. The sides of our bodies touched as she shoved in closer to me to make room for someone trying to get by and talk to Jim.
"You look happy," I said.
"I feel much better!" Jenn said. She threw her arm over my shoulder.
I leaned my head back against the mattress and closed my eyes, just letting the sounds of the party wash over me. I really was beginning to like being here a lot.
In my semi-dazed state of mind, the guilt came over me. I'd talked to mom yesterday over the phone for about twenty minutes. She'd only been able to manage that much. The regimen they had her on at the center was really kicking her ass.
Part of me knew that I should be back there, taking care of her, talking to her, comforting here.
But the other part knew that it was just so right to be right where I was, with the people around me. They made me feel good, like the person I knew I should have been before the cancer diagnosis. It was like my life had paused there, and going to Redeemer had been like hitting the "Play" button again.
"Now you're the
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