one who looks happy!" Jenn said.
I jerked a little. She'd put her lips right next to my ear. The music was loud, but not that loud.
I opened my eyes and found her face right next to mine. Her eyes were so big. My body began buzzing as I felt something pass between us in that stare.
I had known for a while now that she had a crush on me. She always liked to talk about how I looked, and how cute I was for doing this or saying that. And she was quite pretty herself.
But I'd never really given it much serious thought. There had been a few girls in high school back in Pasadena who'd dated each other. And of course the dared drunken kisses at parties and whatnot. One couple had even gone to prom together, and it had made the paper.
I always thought of myself as straight, whatever that really meant.
Maybe it was that bit of a buzz I had going. Maybe it was being so far away from home, so far away from the influence of what my life used to be. Whatever "it" happened to be, I found myself glancing down at Jenn's lips, then back up to her eyes.
My tongue licked out, the tip of it wetting my own lips. I found I could think of nothing but how her soft, warm mouth might feel pressed against mine.
Jenn smiled when she saw the look on my face. That hand she had around my shoulders crept back until she had a gentle grip on the back of my neck, holding me in place.
"Hi," she said.
"Hey."
My heart slammed in my chest, the blood rushing past my ears so loud it blotted out the heavy metal. My body felt so hot, then. I made fists against the floor.
Jenn urged my face towards hers. Panic shot through me, cold and electric down through my stomach. But I fought it. I let her guide me.
My eyes closed, the image of her face fixed in my mind. My breath came in quick little pants.
Our lips touched. Gently, at first, exploring. Hers were far warmer than I thought they'd be. And soft, so soft. Her mouth was hot against mine as our kiss deepened.
It felt that, for just that one brief moment, everything stopped.
And then it was over. She let her hand fall away from my neck, sliding down between my back and the foot of the bed. Her lips parted from mine, and then we parted.
When I opened my eyes, her face was flushed. Her smile then wasn’t ironic at all, and for that instant I saw the woman behind all the makeup and the costumes. She bared herself to me, and I saw that she was struggling with who she was just as much as I was.
"That was hot!" Janice (or was it Cheryl?) said.
They both made kissy faces, puckering their lips and pretending to hold someone close.
Their teasing couldn't stop that buzzing, electric feeling in my body, though. Between our bodies, my hand sought out Jenn's. Our fingers entwined, and she gave me a reassuring squeeze.
"I've been waiting all semester for that," Jenn said.
I was about to reply when Jim's door opened just long enough and wide enough for one person to slip in. Normally, I would have just gone on talking to Jenn, not really caring who'd come to score a free high.
But this was anything but a normal evening. I'd just kissed a girl! Or had she kissed me? My mind was still reeling, so I looked at who it was.
It was a guy who looked familiar. It took me a few seconds to realize that I'd seen him before, in my Intro to the American Revolution class with Dr. Hackett.
His hair was dark, the exact color uncertain in this light, and it hung down past his ears. He had sharp features. The leather jacket he wore hid the exact build he had.
His eyes scanned the room, and for a moment they met mine. We locked stares. It felt like I was staring into a deep, dark pool of water. There was something important at the bottom of it, but I couldn't quite make it out. The longer I looked, the harder it was to see.
Then I realized that Jenn was trying to talk to me.
" Steph? Hey, Earth to Steph!" she said, nudging me.
I shook my head. It felt like I'd just come up for air after being underwater far too long. I looked
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