Read Online Killing Johnny Fry by Walter Mosley - Free Book Online Page B

that I wanted to leave her.
    She had me by the balls, and as much as I hated her and me and Johnny Fry, I needed to be with her more.
    I laid there on my back, waiting (for what I don‘t know), while she slept and night moved across the city. I couldn‘t get up and leave like I wanted to. I couldn‘t wake her and tell her that it was through. I was miserable and obsessed, in love with something I didn‘t understand.
    While I was lying there, I remembered a line from Bob Dylan‘s song “Isis": “Isis, oh, Isis, you mystical child. / What drives me to you is what drives me insane."
    The moment those words came into my head, I began to laugh. I laughed so hard that I got out of bed and went to the living room so as not to wake Jo. There I rolled on the floor, giggling and chortling. Mr. Dylan had given me a key. Maybe I didn‘t know how to open the door yet but I knew there was a way to understand.
    The next morning found me bathed in sunlight through Joelle‘s big windows. I was rolled up into a fetal position with a thin loose-knit shawl draped over me. I remember breathing deeply and then realizing that the window was open.
    She was sitting in her favorite chair reading a book. She wore a short pink slip, and her mane of brown hair was tousled.
    “Good morning,” she said, sunlight glistening all around her.
    “Hi."
    “Why are you sleeping out here?"
    “I woke up and, and I was restless so I came out here not to bother you."
    When I stood up, she said, “Oh, no, no, no."
    I looked down and saw that I was stiff as a diving board.
    “Honey, I‘m raw,” she said, “. . . everywhere. I can‘t. At least not till tonight."
    “I think I just have to go take a piss,” I said even though that was only half of it.
    I went to the toilet and then got my pants off the hall floor. I put them on to hide the erection and then went back to the sundrenched room.
    “I won‘t be bothering you tonight either,” I said, taking a seat on the sofa across from her.
    “Why not?"
    “I have a lotta work to do. The last few days I‘ve really slacked off."
    “Let me see your hand,” she said reaching out.
    Her touch was light and very exciting to me. It made me want to forget about Johnny Fry, but I couldn‘t.
    “Boy,” Joelle sard. “You fell right on the knuckles."
    “It‘s much better now. Two days ago I couldn‘t close my fist.”
    She kissed all four knuckles and said, “I love you."
    “Don‘t say that."
    “Why not?"
    “Because if you say it, I‘ll be on top of you again. I can‘t help it. I feel so strong about you."
    “What is it, L? How come all of a sudden you‘re so, so sexy?”
    “I don‘t want to lose you,” I said, and I had to hold back from crying.
    “Oh.” Jo came across to the sofa, put her arms around my head, and kissed me. “Baby, I‘m not going anywhere."
    “But don‘t you get bored?” I asked. “I mean we‘ve only been having sex about once a week and I don‘t even remember the last time we went on vacation."
    “That doesn‘t matter,” she said. “Is that what you‘re worried about? You think some big stud‘s gonna take me away from you?"
    “Don‘t men . . . “ I stalled. “Don‘t men come on to you all the time?"
    “No.” At least she didn‘t look me in the eye when she said it.
    But her lying didn‘t make me mad, it made me desperate. All I wanted was to peel off that slip and hammer my hard thing home. The feeling was so strong that I bit my lip. My neck was quivering.
    Joelle put her hand against my forehead.
    “Are you still sick?” she asked.
    “Naw. Uh-uh. I‘m just a black man besotted with a woman."
    “Do black men get smitten differently than white guys do?” she asked flirtatiously.
    “I don‘t know,” I said thinking of Johnny Fry whispering his base desires while he took her on the floor, his huge erection much deeper into her than I could ever go.
    “Why are you looking at me like that?” she asked, her shoulders coming up