Read Online KATACLYSM: A Space-Time Comedy by Roy S. Rikman - Free Book Online

massaging cats for a living to his parents when they came to visit.  So in order to survive, Jude had to take on a second job, though of course one had to use the word “second” loosely.  As a brighter than average Rhodes Scholar, this did not present him with much of a problem.  He managed to land himself a job as Political Editor for the Boston Globe under a pseudonym.  In the age of IT, it was quite simple for him to work at a major newspaper without anyone discovering who he was.  Indeed, he had never met a single one of his columnists and he always sent underlings to the daily news meetings.  Aside from the occasional urgent text, he was generally able to get most of the week’s work done in an hour and a half on Saturday morning.  His staff produced first rate work that always met deadlines, so no one really seemed to pay him much notice.
    Not a single person had tried to procure Jude’s services since he had started his business almost two years ago.  Still, he was uneasy.  So he had made an appointment with the competition to feel things out and to get a sense for how he could make himself less appealing.  As he rounded a corner to arrive at Greg’s Cat Massage which flanked a shabby stretch of Boston waterfront, he was startled to find a dilapidated building that somehow rivaled his own office in its sheer offensiveness.
    Two galaxies over on the planet Adnexia, Epoophoron’s dinner party was quickly reaching its climax.  She had invited all seventeen members of her ladies’ complaint league and they had spent very little time at all complaining about the food.  You see, the Adnexians were a highly evolved species.  On most other planets in the universe, the females got together once a week for the stated purpose of playing any number of different games when, in reality, these women spent most of the time complaining about one thing or another.  Female Adnexians, in contrast, dispensed with this façade and simply congregated in large “complaint leagues”.  This had a surprisingly positive effect on the mental health of the female population in general who rarely sought the services of local psychiatrists.  Those males, however, who were unfortunate enough to have to sit through dinner parties organized by a ladies complaint league kept the Adnexian psychiatry business thriving.
    Paroophoron went into the kitchen for a breather and took the opportunity to check his watch.  He smiled for the first time that day.  Adnexian dinner parties could stretch for days in Earth-time but Paroophoron was content in the thought that in a short while, he would not have to think about hosting the complaint league again until the next party in eighteen weeks.
    Epoophoron burst in carrying the scraps of a devoured order of Kung-Po chicken.
    “Darling, what a wonderful idea!  Chinese food has been a complete hit with the ladies, even with Salpinx.  Can you believe how much that woman complains?”
    “I thought that you all complain?  I thought that was the whole point of this evening,” said a perplexed Paroophoron.
    “Well of course it is dear, but there is complaining and then there is complaining.”
    Epoophoron took a minute to arrange a bouquet of flowers brought by one of her guests and then opened the swinging kitchen door.  Still in the doorway, she turned back to Paroophoron.
    “Be a love and set Wu’s famous fortune cookies on a platter so they’re ready to put out as soon as dinner is finished.”
    “Fortune cookies?” said Paroophoron with a frown.  For a moment, the tiny green alien appeared a little tinier and greener.
    “Well of course dear, without the fortune cookies the dinner is nothing.  I’d never hear the end of it,” replied Epoophoron in a huff as she turned her head to attend to one of her guests.
    A moment later, looking back in Paroophoron’s direction, all Epoophoron saw was a sad-looking jacket swing out the garage door.

Chapter 7
    Jude entered Greg’s cat