She remembers sheâs the adult here, excuses herself for laughing, and fixes her face.
âHavenât you ever felt good after doing something really difficult?â She has the nerve to ask me this, wearing a cashmere cardigan she didnât buy on a guidance counselorâs paycheck.
âNo,â I tell her outright. âI avoid doing difficult things. Difficult doesnât do me any good. And really difficult?â I donât bother to finish. âReally difficultâ isnât up for discussion.
âCome on, Leticia-a-a,â she sings. âWhen you do something really hard, you feel accomplished. You take pride in your work. Your potential. Think of how good youâll feel when you pass this class after all your hard work. Donât you want to feel good about your work?â
âI honked like a goose in class today with Madame LeCoeurâs hand on my throat. Would that make you feel good?â
She pushes out her chair, stands, and opens her arms. âYou need a hug?â
I say, âNo. I need a class change. All you have to do is turn on the computer, pull up Leticia Corinthia Moore, sophomore. Click ânoâ on French I, click âyesâ onSpanish III, third period, Señora Roberts.â
She steps toward me, away from her desk, away from my file folder and the computer. I get the hint, get up, and say, âIf my grade average goes down, itâs your fault, Miss Olenbach.â
She says, âYour average wonât go down, Leticia. Not if you work.â
âAnd if my schedule for next semester says zero-period French, Iâm dropping out of school.â
âYour parents wonât let you drop out, Leticia.â As if she knows Bridgette and Bernie Moore.
She places her hands on both my shoulders and steers me out of her office, singing, âLeticia-a-a. What am I going to do with you?â
It doesnât matter how many notes she sings, if theyâre high notes or sinkers. She wants me out of her office. End of song.
15
Turn It Around
DOMINIQUE
âH EY , T INY . Why ya cut out last night?â
âYeah, Tiny. Whatâs up?â
Only teammates call me Tiny. Not Shayne, not Viv, not Scotty. Reese slugs my shoulder. Bishop slaps my butt. Power center and star forward. Both seniors. Both stars. Iâm good but theyâre trees skimming the rim. Six-one and six-two. Big, broad shoulders. One going to UConn, one going to Rutgers. Next stop, no stopping. They could go pro. I could turn on ESPN2 and be watching them battle. Theyâre just like me. All-ball girls. See, Iâm good. Real good. But without them thereâs no team. No wins. Without Reese and Bishop weâre just girls in shorts running up and down the hardwood.
Even though I fight it, Iâm smiling like a bitch in love. I tell them, âYou all donât need me. You got Ellen.â
They start slapping me around. Just playing like we do. Reese says, âEllenâs all right, but Tiny, youâre a guard.â
That feels good, real good, but I donât suck it all down. Theyâre starting this Thursday and every game this season. Iâm benched.
I say, âTell Coach that. Tell Coach to put me back on the floor.â
Yeah, see. One minute Iâm a guard. Big love for Tiny. The next second thereâs silence. No one says a word.
âCome on, Reese. Bishop. You know I feed you. I take care of you on the court. The ball in my hands means the ballâs in your hands. Come on.â
Reese says, âYou know Coach.â
Bishop adds, âAnd Coachâs rules.â
Youâll break before I bend the rules. Yeah. Heard it a thousand times. Coachâs thing. Her saying.
Reese gives me a nice little shoulder slug. She says, âJust fix it, Tiny. You can do it. Turn it around.â
Â
I see him through the doorâs window. All alone in his hole. Little brown mouse. Hunched over in a curve, grading
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