Read Online Judas by Chandler Lacey-Payne - Free Book Online Page A

and he knew he had to let it drop. There was only one other person in the room who understood what had just occurred. He went out to the patio for a smoke and his father joined him, leaving the two women to finish the kitchen.
     
     
                  Judas stared blankly out into the yard as he smoked. He was so deep into his thoughts he hadn't even realized that Phillip followed him out there until the old man's voice rang in his ears. "Hold it together, son. I made sure it would be a short visit," he assured him, clapping him firmly on the back.
    "It's too late, Dad," he said in a monotone.
    Phillip sighed heavily. "Is it still as bad?"
    Judas nodded in response and crushed out the first cigarette. He knew his father understood, even if he was helpless to do anything about it. Sometimes, just the sound of his voice could make a world of difference, but never had it prevented what was to come.
                  “Something tells me you haven't told your wife about this,” he said, adding, “Probably not in your best interest, I would say.”
    “No shit,” Judas growled, lighting another cigarette.
    The older man didn't immediately reply and the silence was deafening. “You have someone, then?”
    “I still have Jaime, but it's been a long time. I've always made do with the randoms. Keeps me from losing what is left of my mind,” he said dryly.
    “Why random ones?  Is Adessa not able to keep up?” He was genuinely asking.
                  Judas shrugged, taking a long drag. “It's not that. I just don't trust myself. She doesn't realize her power over me and if she ever figures it out, I'm fucked. Or she is,” he added dryly.
    “I see,” Phillip nodded. "I don't know of any other options. You don't know how many times I've kicked myself for ever allowing this to continue."
    "It's not your fault, Dad. I needed help and you did the only thing you could. It's my fault that it has continued this long," Judas sighed.
    “Why haven't you gotten yourself into therapy by now? Get some help.”
                  “You know why. They'd lock my ass up for being a nutjob. That or sell the story, and my career would be over,” he sighed. All the years he spent working his ass off, first studying and then practicing would be lost in a blink of an eye. Not to mention anything he said could potentially be subpoenaed if any legal issues ever arose. Either way, his secret would never be safe beyond the three people who knew.
                  He raked his fingers through his hair, exhaling a long breath. “How are Liam and Mathew, anyway? He asked, trying to change the subject.
    “They're doing well. Mathew is just starting his practice, and Liam, well. He's still drinking up every dime I send him. Well, what doesn't end up in the thong of a stripper. They do ask about you. I think Liam more than Mathew but that's because the two of them don't get along for long periods, we know Liam has no respect for me. I'm only good enough to send him checks when your mother isn't looking.”
                  Judas listened as he talked. He always meant to keep in touch but he had his own life and his own problems and he had nearly forgotten his entire life in Florida. The only reminders left were in the form of his mother's hateful voice as she spewed her venom. He knew she had no way to know the monster that had become of her son, but regardless, each time he saw her, she managed to do this to him and now, he knew he was standing at the edge, struggling to hang on.
                  “You know you can call me any time, son. I have told you before, I will do all I can to protect you. Your mother might have the biggest mouth, but I have the most sense.  Don't torture yourself over what you can't change. Just do the best you can each day and be proud. It's all any of us can do,” he said quietly.
    “I know, Dad. I will call if I need you but I'm a man now and I