to say what was on his mind. I mean, every healthy man sports a boner in the morning. It probably meant nothing, right? And the spooning, the kid was probably just scared. He had a bad dream, and they did share the bed after all. He couldn’t really read anything into that, now could he? For all intents and purposes, Jonathan was straight, and, yes, a minor. Completely off limits, no matter what various body parts of Dan’s tried to interject.
Jonathan looked up at Dan, stupefied, and without really wanting to say it, he blurted out, “But I’ll be eighteen next week!” He immediately wanted to retract that, as that had come across differently than he had intended. “I mean, I don’t want to have sex with you...” That came out even worse, Jonathan thought, blushing in tandem with Dan, and he was about to make it worse, if that was possible. “I mean, no, I mean I do, but what I meant was, that I’m not a child. Please don’t treat me like one. You have no idea what I’ve been through...” Then stop acting like one , he added silently.
Dan was stunned. “You’re gay?”
The silence in the room was awkward. Rascal, lying on his quilt, listened to the two members of his pack sitting there, trying to communicate so unsuccessfully. He wondered if he should intervene, but then again, that wouldn’t be of much help as they wouldn’t understand him anyway. He merely cocked his head, looking at Dan, as if to say, “You’re the older one, it’s your house, your pack, fix this!”
Jonathan didn’t respond to Dan’s question. He looked down, ashamed that he’d been so blunt, that he’d expressed himself so stupidly. Then he made up his mind. The panic of what he undoubtedly felt was coming his way, short-circuiting his mind. “I’ll go. You don’t have to worry about me. I’ll just get my clothes and leave. I’ll be fine,” he said, getting up from the couch, trying to move towards the bedroom, but Dan was faster, blocking his way, his arms spread wide. Jonathan literally walked right into him.
As Dan’s arms came around his thin body, holding him tight, Jonathan’s resistance melted. Tears welled up and he cried. “I can’t. I can’t go out there again. Please don’t make me go. I’m so tired. I’m so exhausted...” Dan held him tightly, caressing through his hair with his hand, unsure how to stop the tsunami of emotion heading his way as Jonathan broke down in his arms. He led the boy back to the bedroom and all but tucked him into the bed, Jonathan shaking, crying, exhausted.
Dan held his hand, gently stroking through his hair, trying to console the boy until his crying ceased. Eventually his breathing became more regular, until he had fallen asleep. He really must be exhausted , Dan figured, as he closed the bedroom door behind him, walking back into the living room and the work waiting for him.
It was difficult to focus that day and he barely got any work done at all. When he checked his watch every now and then, he’d noticed that he’d been sitting at his desk for several hours. Outside, snow was still falling, the lake barely visible, although the shore was only a few yards from the cabin. I could never have thrown him out, no matter what.
The sun had already set, dusk had come and gone when Dan finally heard the sound of the bedroom door opening. He looked in that direction and saw Jonathan’s frame in the door. “Did you sleep well?” he asked, still unsure of what to say and how.
“Okay, thanks. It seems that I needed that. You’re most kind to let me use your bed. But I’ll sleep on the couch tonight...”
Well, that’s progress , Dan figured, chuckling to himself. At least he’s not thinking of leaving anymore... “No need, the bed’s big enough for both of us. But you’ll have to move to the other side. You slept on my side last night,” he said, smiling at Jonathan, who immediately blushed.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t know. I was too tired to think last
Jonathan looked up at Dan, stupefied, and without really wanting to say it, he blurted out, “But I’ll be eighteen next week!” He immediately wanted to retract that, as that had come across differently than he had intended. “I mean, I don’t want to have sex with you...” That came out even worse, Jonathan thought, blushing in tandem with Dan, and he was about to make it worse, if that was possible. “I mean, no, I mean I do, but what I meant was, that I’m not a child. Please don’t treat me like one. You have no idea what I’ve been through...” Then stop acting like one , he added silently.
Dan was stunned. “You’re gay?”
The silence in the room was awkward. Rascal, lying on his quilt, listened to the two members of his pack sitting there, trying to communicate so unsuccessfully. He wondered if he should intervene, but then again, that wouldn’t be of much help as they wouldn’t understand him anyway. He merely cocked his head, looking at Dan, as if to say, “You’re the older one, it’s your house, your pack, fix this!”
Jonathan didn’t respond to Dan’s question. He looked down, ashamed that he’d been so blunt, that he’d expressed himself so stupidly. Then he made up his mind. The panic of what he undoubtedly felt was coming his way, short-circuiting his mind. “I’ll go. You don’t have to worry about me. I’ll just get my clothes and leave. I’ll be fine,” he said, getting up from the couch, trying to move towards the bedroom, but Dan was faster, blocking his way, his arms spread wide. Jonathan literally walked right into him.
As Dan’s arms came around his thin body, holding him tight, Jonathan’s resistance melted. Tears welled up and he cried. “I can’t. I can’t go out there again. Please don’t make me go. I’m so tired. I’m so exhausted...” Dan held him tightly, caressing through his hair with his hand, unsure how to stop the tsunami of emotion heading his way as Jonathan broke down in his arms. He led the boy back to the bedroom and all but tucked him into the bed, Jonathan shaking, crying, exhausted.
Dan held his hand, gently stroking through his hair, trying to console the boy until his crying ceased. Eventually his breathing became more regular, until he had fallen asleep. He really must be exhausted , Dan figured, as he closed the bedroom door behind him, walking back into the living room and the work waiting for him.
It was difficult to focus that day and he barely got any work done at all. When he checked his watch every now and then, he’d noticed that he’d been sitting at his desk for several hours. Outside, snow was still falling, the lake barely visible, although the shore was only a few yards from the cabin. I could never have thrown him out, no matter what.
The sun had already set, dusk had come and gone when Dan finally heard the sound of the bedroom door opening. He looked in that direction and saw Jonathan’s frame in the door. “Did you sleep well?” he asked, still unsure of what to say and how.
“Okay, thanks. It seems that I needed that. You’re most kind to let me use your bed. But I’ll sleep on the couch tonight...”
Well, that’s progress , Dan figured, chuckling to himself. At least he’s not thinking of leaving anymore... “No need, the bed’s big enough for both of us. But you’ll have to move to the other side. You slept on my side last night,” he said, smiling at Jonathan, who immediately blushed.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t know. I was too tired to think last
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