Read Online Joe Peters by Cry Silent Tears - Free Book Online

by Mum right from the beginning. They wouldn’t have expected to hear anything from me.
    While other children played outside in the sun, went to school, made friends and learned new things, I sat in the dark on my own. As far as I know, during those three years no one from social services asked where I was or what was happening to me. Perhaps they did come knocking and Mum managed to convince them with some story or other. Maybe she told them I had moved from the area, but I think they would have asked to see at least some evidence of where I was now to back up any claims she made. My name must have been on the system because I had been to see the local doctor when I first went mute, so I must have had a national health number at the very least. I’m also fairly sure Mum would have been collecting benefits for looking after me from the welfare because she needed every penny she could scrounge together. So how could I just have slipped out of sight like that without anyone questioning it? Maybe they were confused because I had been living at two different addresses – both Mum’s and Marie’s. Maybetheir case load was just too great. I don’t know and I suppose I’ll never find out now.
    After a while of sitting on the bare floor that first day, straining my ears as I listened out for her to come back down the stairs and give me another beating, I found the courage to stand up and pull the mattress flat onto the floor in order to give myself somewhere more comfortable to lie. I almost choked on the stale, damp stink that rose into the air on a cloud of dust as it dropped down, filling my lungs and making me wheeze. It was a relief to get my skinny limbs off the cold, hard concrete even though the mattress was full of lumps and sharp edges.
    As I lay, staring up into the darkness, it wasn’t long before I felt the approaching urge to pee. I hadn’t emptied my bladder since the previous evening and I realized it was now painfully full. I had no idea how long I was going to be down there and I certainly didn’t have the nerve to bang on the door for help or to even try to push my way through it and find my way back up the stairs in the dark. Knowing how angry she always became when I peed myself by mistake, I tried to hold it in but the pain eventually became so intense I had to give up and I released it onto the floor, knowing, even as the feeling of release spread through me, that I would be in trouble if she spotted the puddle. I hoped she wouldn’t come back down before it evaporated, but in my heart Iknew that was unlikely. The urine left a new smell in the air and although it was a relief to have got rid of it I felt even dirtier as I lay back down on the mattress again to wait for something to happen, wondering if perhaps this was the end and I was just going to be left alone to die of hunger and thirst.
    Hours later I heard footsteps on the stairs and the light came on in the cell, almost blinding me with its sudden brightness. When Mum opened the door and came in I saw immediately from her expression that she could smell what I’d done and I cringed, bracing myself for the blows.
    ‘You dirty little shit,’ she growled, her lips curling up in disgust. ‘You’re not even fucking house trained.’
    Just as I expected she went completely mental at me for daring to soil her house, even this distant, dirty, forgotten corner of it. Armed with a new reason to be angry, she pulled me up off the mattress by the hair and beat me hard. Still gripping my hair tightly she pushed me onto my knees and smeared my face into the puddle of wee with all her strength, as if she was trying to teach a particularly stubborn puppy the error of its ways, forcing me down so hard I was afraid she would break my nose.
    ‘You dirty little bastard!’ she screamed as she rubbed, before shouting up to Wally.
    ‘Fetch a fucking mop and bucket!’
    When Wally came hurrying down she hurled the mop at me with all her strength.
    ‘Clean it