Read Online Job: A Comedy of Justice by Robert A. Heinlein - Free Book Online
Authors: Robert A. Heinlein
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was your final mark in thermodynamics?
All right! Assume that I can’t do it myself—
Big of you.
Lay off, will you? Knowing that something, can be done is two thirds of the battle. I could be director of research and guide the efforts of some really sharp young engineers. They supply the brains; I supply the unique memory of what a dirigible balloon looks like and how it works. Okay?
That’s the proper division of labor: You supply memory, they supply brains. Yes, that could work. But not quickly, not cheaply. How are you going to finance it?
Uh, sell shares?
Remember the summer you sold vacuum cleaners?
Well…there’s that million dollars.
Naughty, naughty!
“Mr. Graham?”
I looked up from my great plans to find a yeoman from the purser’s office looking at me. “Yes?”
She handed me an envelope. “From Mr. Henderson, sir. He said you would probably have an answer.”
“Thank you.” The note read: “Dear Mr. Graham: There are three men down here in the square who claim to have an appointment with you. I don’t like their looks or the way they talk—and this port has some very strange customers. If you are not expecting them or don’t wish to see them, tell my messenger that she could not find you. Then I’ll tell them that you’ve gone ashore. A.P.H.”
I remained balanced between curiosity and caution for some long, uncomfortable moments. They did not want to see me; they wanted to see Graham…and whatever it was they wanted of Graham, I could not satisfy their want.
You know what they want!
So I suspect. But, even if they have a chit signed by Saint Peter, I can’t turn over to them—or to anyone—that silly million dollars. You know that.
Certainly I know that. I wanted to be sure that you knew it. All right, since there are no circumstances under which you will turn over to a trio of strangers the contents of Graham’s lockbox, then why see them?
Because I’ve got to know! Now shut up. I said to the yeoman, “Please tell Mr. Henderson that I will be right down. And thank you for your trouble.”
“My pleasure, sir. Uh, Mr. Graham… I saw you walk the fire. You were wonderful!”
“I was out of my silly mind. Thanks anyhow.”
I stopped at the top of the companionway and sized up the three men waiting for me. They looked as if they had been type-cast for menace: one oversize job about six feet eight with the hands, feet, jaw, and ears of glandular giantism; one sissy type about one quarter the size of the big man; one nothing type with dead eyes. Muscles, brain, and gun—or was it my jumpy imagination?
A smart person would go quietly back up and hide.
I’m not smart.
VI
Let us eat and drink, for tomorrow we shall die.
Isaiah 22:13
I walked down the stairs, not looking at the three, and went directly to the desk of the purser’s office. Mr. Henderson was there, spoke quietly as I reached the counter. “Those three over there. Do you know them?”
“No, I don’t know them. I’ll see what they want. But keep an eye on us, will you, please?”
“Right!”
I turned and started to walk past that lovable trio. The smart boy said sharply, “Graham! Stop there! Where you going?”
I kept moving and snapped, “Shut up, you idiot! Are you trying to blow it?” Muscles stepped into my path and hung over me like a tall building. The gun stepped in behind me. In a fake prison-yard style, from the side of my mouth, I said, “Quit making a scene and get these apes off the ship! You and I must talk.”
“Certainly we talk, Ici! Now. Here.”
“You utter fool,” I answered softly and glanced nervously up, to left and right. “Not here. Cows. Bugs. Come with me. But have Mutt and Jeff wait on the dock.”
“ Non! ”
“God save us! Listen carefully.” I whispered, “You are going to tell these animals to leave the ship and wait at the foot of the gangway. Then you and I are going to walk out on the weather deck where we can talk without being overheard.
All right! Assume that I can’t do it myself—
Big of you.
Lay off, will you? Knowing that something, can be done is two thirds of the battle. I could be director of research and guide the efforts of some really sharp young engineers. They supply the brains; I supply the unique memory of what a dirigible balloon looks like and how it works. Okay?
That’s the proper division of labor: You supply memory, they supply brains. Yes, that could work. But not quickly, not cheaply. How are you going to finance it?
Uh, sell shares?
Remember the summer you sold vacuum cleaners?
Well…there’s that million dollars.
Naughty, naughty!
“Mr. Graham?”
I looked up from my great plans to find a yeoman from the purser’s office looking at me. “Yes?”
She handed me an envelope. “From Mr. Henderson, sir. He said you would probably have an answer.”
“Thank you.” The note read: “Dear Mr. Graham: There are three men down here in the square who claim to have an appointment with you. I don’t like their looks or the way they talk—and this port has some very strange customers. If you are not expecting them or don’t wish to see them, tell my messenger that she could not find you. Then I’ll tell them that you’ve gone ashore. A.P.H.”
I remained balanced between curiosity and caution for some long, uncomfortable moments. They did not want to see me; they wanted to see Graham…and whatever it was they wanted of Graham, I could not satisfy their want.
You know what they want!
So I suspect. But, even if they have a chit signed by Saint Peter, I can’t turn over to them—or to anyone—that silly million dollars. You know that.
Certainly I know that. I wanted to be sure that you knew it. All right, since there are no circumstances under which you will turn over to a trio of strangers the contents of Graham’s lockbox, then why see them?
Because I’ve got to know! Now shut up. I said to the yeoman, “Please tell Mr. Henderson that I will be right down. And thank you for your trouble.”
“My pleasure, sir. Uh, Mr. Graham… I saw you walk the fire. You were wonderful!”
“I was out of my silly mind. Thanks anyhow.”
I stopped at the top of the companionway and sized up the three men waiting for me. They looked as if they had been type-cast for menace: one oversize job about six feet eight with the hands, feet, jaw, and ears of glandular giantism; one sissy type about one quarter the size of the big man; one nothing type with dead eyes. Muscles, brain, and gun—or was it my jumpy imagination?
A smart person would go quietly back up and hide.
I’m not smart.
VI
Let us eat and drink, for tomorrow we shall die.
Isaiah 22:13
I walked down the stairs, not looking at the three, and went directly to the desk of the purser’s office. Mr. Henderson was there, spoke quietly as I reached the counter. “Those three over there. Do you know them?”
“No, I don’t know them. I’ll see what they want. But keep an eye on us, will you, please?”
“Right!”
I turned and started to walk past that lovable trio. The smart boy said sharply, “Graham! Stop there! Where you going?”
I kept moving and snapped, “Shut up, you idiot! Are you trying to blow it?” Muscles stepped into my path and hung over me like a tall building. The gun stepped in behind me. In a fake prison-yard style, from the side of my mouth, I said, “Quit making a scene and get these apes off the ship! You and I must talk.”
“Certainly we talk, Ici! Now. Here.”
“You utter fool,” I answered softly and glanced nervously up, to left and right. “Not here. Cows. Bugs. Come with me. But have Mutt and Jeff wait on the dock.”
“ Non! ”
“God save us! Listen carefully.” I whispered, “You are going to tell these animals to leave the ship and wait at the foot of the gangway. Then you and I are going to walk out on the weather deck where we can talk without being overheard.
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