adolescent beauty, she looked about fourteen. It wasnât until she sat down at the desk opposite me and straightened her pile of papers briskly on the desk, fixing me with a determined gaze, that I caught sight of the name badge on her lapel.
Polly Powers. Senior Recruitment Consultant.
âJennifer?â
âYes. Hello.â
I looked across at her and smiled. With a name like that I half expected her to whip on her cape, twirl around on her seat and be transformed into a recruitment superhero with the means to find me the most perfect job in the world.
âThank you for coming and filling out our application forms. Iâve had a quick scan through your paperwork, thereâs just a couple of things I wanted to go through with you, if thatâs okay?â
âFine. Fire away.â
âI see youâve been working for Browns⦠the garden centre, for nine years.â Her little nose crinkled when she mentioned the garden centre as though she wasnât entirely sure what one was. Or if she might get her perfectly manicured nails dirty merely by association. âCan you tell me what sort of things youâve been doing?â
âWell, a bit of everything really. Iâve worked on the tills, served in the restaurant, helped out in the nurseries tending to the plants, and worked in the office doing the accounts and admin. My most recent role has been sourcing stock for the gift and homeware sections. I like to think of myself as a bit of an all-rounder really.â
Iâm not one to blow my own trumpet but when I said it like that it made me realise just how wide my range of experience actually was.
âSo have you worked anywhere else then?â
âNo.â
âI see. Do you have any spreadsheet, database, publishing experience?â
âWell, um, I like to dabble on the computer. I wouldnât call myself an expert but I can get by. Iâm pretty fast on a keyboard.â
She raised her eyebrows and dug out a piece of paper from the bottom of her pile.
âThe thing is, Jennifer, you didnât actually do very well in the typing test. I think you managed twenty-two wpm. For us to put you forward for typing or data entry work you would need a speed of at least forty-five wpm with an accuracy of ninety-seven per cent. Your accuracy was somewhat beneath the level.â
âOh well, I only use two fingers to type, but once I get going usually thereâs no stopping me. Itâs just Iâm not used to being tested and I was a bit nervous. I went wrong and then my fingers turned to jelly. Normally Iâm much better than that. Should I have another go at the test?â
âWe only allow three attempts and this was your best one.â
âOh dear, was it? It was actually only temporary work I was looking for.â
âYes, I appreciate that. The thing is companies nowadays can take their pick of well-qualified applicants. Even for temporary work.â She looked again at my form. âWhat about your accounts experience. Are you AAT qualified?â
âAm I AAâ¦what?â
She sighed. I heard her. A small but very definite exasperated sigh escaped her lips.
âWhat about your waitressing skills? Silver service?â
I grimaced.
âIâm not entirely sure what that is, but it doesnât sound too difficult. Does it mean wearing a uniform and taking it very seriously? Not giggling? Not dropping anything? Iâm sure I could pick it up pretty quickly.â
She paused and gave a big but not very convincing smile.
âRight. Well I think thatâs everything.â
She tapped her papers on the desk again, signifying that this unsatisfactory meeting was coming to an end. The enthusiasm and positivity Iâd felt only half an hour earlier when Iâd walked into the employment agency had made an early exit without me. I wondered if Polly Powersâ superpowers might be at a particularly low ebb today
Polly Powers. Senior Recruitment Consultant.
âJennifer?â
âYes. Hello.â
I looked across at her and smiled. With a name like that I half expected her to whip on her cape, twirl around on her seat and be transformed into a recruitment superhero with the means to find me the most perfect job in the world.
âThank you for coming and filling out our application forms. Iâve had a quick scan through your paperwork, thereâs just a couple of things I wanted to go through with you, if thatâs okay?â
âFine. Fire away.â
âI see youâve been working for Browns⦠the garden centre, for nine years.â Her little nose crinkled when she mentioned the garden centre as though she wasnât entirely sure what one was. Or if she might get her perfectly manicured nails dirty merely by association. âCan you tell me what sort of things youâve been doing?â
âWell, a bit of everything really. Iâve worked on the tills, served in the restaurant, helped out in the nurseries tending to the plants, and worked in the office doing the accounts and admin. My most recent role has been sourcing stock for the gift and homeware sections. I like to think of myself as a bit of an all-rounder really.â
Iâm not one to blow my own trumpet but when I said it like that it made me realise just how wide my range of experience actually was.
âSo have you worked anywhere else then?â
âNo.â
âI see. Do you have any spreadsheet, database, publishing experience?â
âWell, um, I like to dabble on the computer. I wouldnât call myself an expert but I can get by. Iâm pretty fast on a keyboard.â
She raised her eyebrows and dug out a piece of paper from the bottom of her pile.
âThe thing is, Jennifer, you didnât actually do very well in the typing test. I think you managed twenty-two wpm. For us to put you forward for typing or data entry work you would need a speed of at least forty-five wpm with an accuracy of ninety-seven per cent. Your accuracy was somewhat beneath the level.â
âOh well, I only use two fingers to type, but once I get going usually thereâs no stopping me. Itâs just Iâm not used to being tested and I was a bit nervous. I went wrong and then my fingers turned to jelly. Normally Iâm much better than that. Should I have another go at the test?â
âWe only allow three attempts and this was your best one.â
âOh dear, was it? It was actually only temporary work I was looking for.â
âYes, I appreciate that. The thing is companies nowadays can take their pick of well-qualified applicants. Even for temporary work.â She looked again at my form. âWhat about your accounts experience. Are you AAT qualified?â
âAm I AAâ¦what?â
She sighed. I heard her. A small but very definite exasperated sigh escaped her lips.
âWhat about your waitressing skills? Silver service?â
I grimaced.
âIâm not entirely sure what that is, but it doesnât sound too difficult. Does it mean wearing a uniform and taking it very seriously? Not giggling? Not dropping anything? Iâm sure I could pick it up pretty quickly.â
She paused and gave a big but not very convincing smile.
âRight. Well I think thatâs everything.â
She tapped her papers on the desk again, signifying that this unsatisfactory meeting was coming to an end. The enthusiasm and positivity Iâd felt only half an hour earlier when Iâd walked into the employment agency had made an early exit without me. I wondered if Polly Powersâ superpowers might be at a particularly low ebb today
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