Read Online It Stings So Sweet by Stephanie Draven - Free Book Online Page A

something deeper. Something uniquely me. And if you’re going to keep doing it, keep denyingwhat we both want, then I want you to leave. Right now. This afternoon.”

    He draws back, obviously shaken, trying to gather his composure. Silhouetted against the fireplacewith its carved rosettes, he rubs his face in thought. He’s withdrawing into himself, whichonly makes me feel more raw and exposed. Desperate now, I go to my knees in the pile of clothesthat I’ve knocked to the floor, digging into the back of the suitcase. I don’t stop until the touchof a metal buckle bites at my fingertips and I pull out a brown leather belt.
    Stumbling overthe suitcase, I get back to my feet and hold it out to him. “Use it on me.”
    He recoils. “ForChrist’s sake, Nora!”
    I plead with him. “Hit me with it. Just like you did that night. I’llmake you see that you didn’t hurt our baby.”
    A wordless shake of his head.
    “What’s thematter, Jonathan? Can’t you do it unless I provoke you? Do I need to kiss someone else? Do I need togo to bed with another man this time? What is it that you need me to do to make it alright?”
    He swallows as if there is something caught in his throat that keeps him from speaking.
    “I’mstrong, Jonathan,” I say, hoarsely, finding my own courage. “And you can’t break me. I thought youcould. I thought you
did
. But you can’t.”
    “Perhaps you’re right,” he says, dropping his gaze.“But what you don’t seem to realize, Nora, is that
you
can break
me
.”
    His words reverberatethrough me. The lump that rises in my throat threatens to strangle me. It hurts, a painful throb atmy center. Tears roll down my cheeks. So here it is, then. All this time, he thought he needed to protectme from his own worst instincts. Now he realizes that he needs to be protected from me.
    I amthe monster.
    “Then it’s up to you, isn’t it?” I ask quietly. “My father used to say I was aspoiled and willful child. I was. Because I always knew that I didn’t belong to my father. I knew Ididn’t belong to Robert Aster. I don’t belong to you, either—not unless I want to. I’m mine to give,Jonathan. And no one can decide, but you, whether or not to give yourself to me in return.”
    I twist the gold wedding band from my finger. It’s a perilous journey to the carved marble mantelpiece,where I gently set the ring down. I’m too near to him, overwhelmed by his scent and his warmth.He hasn’t changed posture. Hasn’t moved a muscle. Rigid in tormented thought.
    “But you’re goingto choose me, Jonathan. You’re going to choose us. I have faith in you.”
    When I lean closeto kiss him, he flinches.
    “I’m going down to breakfast,” I say, my voice as flat and emotionlessas I can make it.
    “Of course,” he says, almost absently. “You must be wanting breakfast . . . why it’s almost afternoon . . .”
    “Will you join me?” It’s the only fissure I allow in mynewfound self-possession.
    “I don’t know.” A mask has descended over that impossibly handsomeface and I cannot read him.
    “Shall I have a tray sent up to you, then?”
    His eyes are blank.“Whatever is most convenient.”

CHAPTER
    Six
    In the dining room, Dolly is stiff-lipped as she poursmy tea. It is lukewarm. The biscuits on the sideboard are cold now, but I take three of them andsmother them with butter and strawberry preserves. As I pile my plate with food, I notice that sinceI went upstairs to confront Jonathan, someone has set the table with the best china, as if we wereexpectingguests.
    Then Dolly reminds me. “Your father, ma’am. He’s expected this afternoon,remember?”
    Most of me dreads the idea of seeing him. Especially now. But some tiny, infuriatedpart of me eagerly readies for a fight. I’ve faced almost all my demons today—what is one more?That my father should have lied to Jonathan and made him suffer for so long . . . I can’t begin to guesshow my father might have known the exact