Read Online Inglourious Basterds by Quentin Tarantino - Free Book Online
Authors: Quentin Tarantino
Ads: Link
will operate the projectors. Is that acceptable?
As if she has any say.
SHOSANNA
Oui.
Col. Landa takes another bite of strudel, and Shosanna follows suit.
COL. LANDA
So it would appear our young hero is quite smitten with you?
SHOSANNA
Private Zoller’s feelings for me aren’t of a romantic nature.
COL. LANDA
Mademoiselle… ?
SHOSANNA
Colonel, his feelings are not romantic. I remind him of his sister.
COL. LANDA
That doesn’t mean his feelings aren’t romantic.
SHOSANNA
I remind him of his sister who raised him.
COL. LANDA
It’s sounding more and more romantic by the minute.
Landa takes out a handsome-looking cigarette case, with an S.S. LOGO on it. Removing one of the fags, he lights it up with
a fancy S.S. gold lighter. He offers one to Shosanna.
COL. LANDA
Cigarette?
SHOSANNA
No, thank you.
COL. LANDA
Do you smoke?
SHOSANNA
Yes.
COL. LANDA
Then I insist, you must take one. They’re not French, they’re German. I hope you’re not nationalist about your tobacco. To
me, French cigarettes are a sin against nicotine.
She takes one but makes no move to light it.
He inhales deeply and says:
COL. LANDA
I did have something else I wanted to ask you, but right now, for the life of me, I can’t remember what it is. Oh, well, must
not have been important.
Col. Landa stands up, throws some French francs on the table, puts on his gray S.S. cap, touches his finger to his visor,
saluting Shosanna, and says:
COL. LANDA
Till tonight.
And with that he’s gone.
Shosanna breaths a sigh of relief.
The CAMERA begins to slowly lower from a MEDIUM CU to her feet and ankles and the floor. We see her shoes are in a puddle
of urine. During her conversation and strudel with the man who exterminated her entire family, Shosanna pissed herself. She
drops the German cigarette into the piss puddle by her feet.
INT—CINEMA AUDITORIUM—NIGHT
The SILVER SCREEN
Onscreen is the German screwball comedy “LUCKY KIDS.”
We hear OFFSCREEN laughter at the onscreen Aryan antics.
CU GOEBBELS
watching the screen, basking in his own toxic genius.
CU FRANCESCA
laughing at the comedy, hand covering her mouth.
CU TWO BLACK POODLES
pantingly watching the screen.
CU MAJOR HELLSTROM
smiling, smoking a German cigarette.
CU COL LANDA
smoking a German cigarette, amused.
CU FREDRICK ZOLLER
truly enjoying himself.
CU SHOSANNA
watching the screen.
The LITERARY NARRATOR comes on the soundtrack.
NARRATOR (VO)
While Shosanna sits there pretending to be amused by the Aryan antics of Goebbel’s Frank Capra copy “Lucky Kids,” a thought
suddenly comes to her.
We see her face get slightly distracted behind the eyes.
NARRATOR (VO)
What if tonight, accidently, the cinema burned down? The Third Reich would lose its minister of propaganda, its national hero,
and its top Jew hunter, all in one fell swoop.
She chuckles at THAT thought, though it looks like she’s chuckling at the German comedy.
NARRATOR (VO)
But then that thought…… led Shosanna To a crazy idea.
The idea flashes on her face. Then Shosanna bursts out laughing.
Zoller looks over at her. Happy. She’s enjoying the movie.
SILVER SCREEN
“The END” card for “Lucky Kids” is projected.
The Nazi rouges’ gallery, and Shosanna, applaud the film.
The lights go up.
Goebbels accepts congratulations, as they stand and begin to file out into the lobby.
NARRATOR (VO)
The screening of “Lucky Kids” was a complete success. And Herr Goebbels conceded to have the venue changed to Shosanna’s cinema.
Not only that, in a moment of inspiration, Herr Goebbels had an idea.
Goebbels speaks GERMAN, and Francesca translates:
GOEBBELS
I must say, I appreciate the modesty of this auditorium. Your cinema has real respect, almost churchlike. Not to say we couldn’t
spruce the place up a bit. In Versailles there’s a crystal chandelier hanging in the banquet hall that is extraordinary. We’re
going to get it and hang it from the very middle of
As if she has any say.
SHOSANNA
Oui.
Col. Landa takes another bite of strudel, and Shosanna follows suit.
COL. LANDA
So it would appear our young hero is quite smitten with you?
SHOSANNA
Private Zoller’s feelings for me aren’t of a romantic nature.
COL. LANDA
Mademoiselle… ?
SHOSANNA
Colonel, his feelings are not romantic. I remind him of his sister.
COL. LANDA
That doesn’t mean his feelings aren’t romantic.
SHOSANNA
I remind him of his sister who raised him.
COL. LANDA
It’s sounding more and more romantic by the minute.
Landa takes out a handsome-looking cigarette case, with an S.S. LOGO on it. Removing one of the fags, he lights it up with
a fancy S.S. gold lighter. He offers one to Shosanna.
COL. LANDA
Cigarette?
SHOSANNA
No, thank you.
COL. LANDA
Do you smoke?
SHOSANNA
Yes.
COL. LANDA
Then I insist, you must take one. They’re not French, they’re German. I hope you’re not nationalist about your tobacco. To
me, French cigarettes are a sin against nicotine.
She takes one but makes no move to light it.
He inhales deeply and says:
COL. LANDA
I did have something else I wanted to ask you, but right now, for the life of me, I can’t remember what it is. Oh, well, must
not have been important.
Col. Landa stands up, throws some French francs on the table, puts on his gray S.S. cap, touches his finger to his visor,
saluting Shosanna, and says:
COL. LANDA
Till tonight.
And with that he’s gone.
Shosanna breaths a sigh of relief.
The CAMERA begins to slowly lower from a MEDIUM CU to her feet and ankles and the floor. We see her shoes are in a puddle
of urine. During her conversation and strudel with the man who exterminated her entire family, Shosanna pissed herself. She
drops the German cigarette into the piss puddle by her feet.
INT—CINEMA AUDITORIUM—NIGHT
The SILVER SCREEN
Onscreen is the German screwball comedy “LUCKY KIDS.”
We hear OFFSCREEN laughter at the onscreen Aryan antics.
CU GOEBBELS
watching the screen, basking in his own toxic genius.
CU FRANCESCA
laughing at the comedy, hand covering her mouth.
CU TWO BLACK POODLES
pantingly watching the screen.
CU MAJOR HELLSTROM
smiling, smoking a German cigarette.
CU COL LANDA
smoking a German cigarette, amused.
CU FREDRICK ZOLLER
truly enjoying himself.
CU SHOSANNA
watching the screen.
The LITERARY NARRATOR comes on the soundtrack.
NARRATOR (VO)
While Shosanna sits there pretending to be amused by the Aryan antics of Goebbel’s Frank Capra copy “Lucky Kids,” a thought
suddenly comes to her.
We see her face get slightly distracted behind the eyes.
NARRATOR (VO)
What if tonight, accidently, the cinema burned down? The Third Reich would lose its minister of propaganda, its national hero,
and its top Jew hunter, all in one fell swoop.
She chuckles at THAT thought, though it looks like she’s chuckling at the German comedy.
NARRATOR (VO)
But then that thought…… led Shosanna To a crazy idea.
The idea flashes on her face. Then Shosanna bursts out laughing.
Zoller looks over at her. Happy. She’s enjoying the movie.
SILVER SCREEN
“The END” card for “Lucky Kids” is projected.
The Nazi rouges’ gallery, and Shosanna, applaud the film.
The lights go up.
Goebbels accepts congratulations, as they stand and begin to file out into the lobby.
NARRATOR (VO)
The screening of “Lucky Kids” was a complete success. And Herr Goebbels conceded to have the venue changed to Shosanna’s cinema.
Not only that, in a moment of inspiration, Herr Goebbels had an idea.
Goebbels speaks GERMAN, and Francesca translates:
GOEBBELS
I must say, I appreciate the modesty of this auditorium. Your cinema has real respect, almost churchlike. Not to say we couldn’t
spruce the place up a bit. In Versailles there’s a crystal chandelier hanging in the banquet hall that is extraordinary. We’re
going to get it and hang it from the very middle of
Similar Books
