Read Online Indwell (Chasing Natalie's Ghosts) by Nicole Smith - Free Book Online
Authors: Nicole Smith
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furiously. “You saved me, you kept me here. You made me stay here in this prison when I tried to escape. Now you owe me your life. I cannot live without you.” I tried to explain how I felt to him.
“ I will not leave you,” he said frightening me, just by the way he said ` I’ .
“Do you really think I will leave you?” I asked, not wanting to hear his reply.
“The future is already set, I just want to enjoy the time I have with you now,” he explained, looking intensely into my eyes. I could not refuse him anything he wanted. I just prayed he was wrong. How could I possibly leave him? I needed him more than I needed food. I grabbed him again and pulled him to me. I wanted to smell him and feel him. I let my fingers massage his shoulders, then I traced his arms, I rubbed his chest. I let my hands slide down to his waist. He grabbed them and kissed them.
“Not yet,” he said, restraining himself more than I was capable of.
“Why?” I asked, not sure if it was passion or the alcohol that was making me mad with desire.
“I just want to hold you. Don’t question my love, just let me hold you,” he begged.
“Just promise me you won’t leave,” I moaned, curling into his chest again.
“I will be with you for as long as you need me to be,” he repeated as if it was some sort of mantra, he had to convince himself of.
6. DANCE
Winter was upon us again and the house seemed even draftier than the year before. I was able to hang extra blankets on my window to keep the wind from freezing me while I slept. I was so grateful to have Adam around so much. He continued to act as my heater. He never asked for more than just to hold me.
I was still friends with Justin. He kept trying to get me to go out more with him, but I was afraid of running into Hayden. He had told me that Hayden asked about me from time to time.
“I told him you were crazy but he doesn’t believe me,” Justin joked.
“Well, we both know you’re crazier than me,” I said, not exactly joking.
“There is a new dance club opening up in the next town over. A bunch of us are going. It might be fun, if we have a few hits before we get there. What do you say? I promise I’ll be able to get you home,” he tried to reassure me.
“I’ll think about it,” I replied. The idea of dancing sounded good, I did like to dance and it has been awhile since I’ve gone out with my friends.
On Friday I told Adam I had agreed with Justin to go dancing Saturday night. At first he didn’t mind, but later that night he seemed to change his mind.
“Why are you going with Justin? You know he’ll endanger your life. He is never sober. I really don’t think you should go,” he said, looking out the window.
“I just want to go so that I can dance. There are other people going, maybe one of them will drive if Justin can’t.” I tried to soothe him.
“We can dance here,” he said, as he turned on my radio and reaching for my waist, he twirled me around the room.
“You’re good.” I smiled at him.
“Thanks, I have never had lessons. I must be a natural,” he said, grinning.
“If you really don’t feel comfortable with me going then I won’t,” I said, trying to make him happy. He just frowned.
“Seriously though, if I was to get in an accident and die, wouldn’t I be able to come back here to you? Wouldn’t we be able to be phantoms together, forever?” I asked. Just the idea sent amazing shivers down my back, the idea of living with him always, going where we wanted whenever we wanted to, sounded like a dream come true. He didn’t look as happy as me with the idea.
“Well, I guess being with me all the time, forever, might not sound so good to you,” I said, concerned I had upset him somehow.
“I wish it worked like that, my eternal love, I really do. If you died now, you might go straight to heaven and I would still be here, alone.”
“How do you know if I’m going to heaven or hell? How do you know that I
“ I will not leave you,” he said frightening me, just by the way he said ` I’ .
“Do you really think I will leave you?” I asked, not wanting to hear his reply.
“The future is already set, I just want to enjoy the time I have with you now,” he explained, looking intensely into my eyes. I could not refuse him anything he wanted. I just prayed he was wrong. How could I possibly leave him? I needed him more than I needed food. I grabbed him again and pulled him to me. I wanted to smell him and feel him. I let my fingers massage his shoulders, then I traced his arms, I rubbed his chest. I let my hands slide down to his waist. He grabbed them and kissed them.
“Not yet,” he said, restraining himself more than I was capable of.
“Why?” I asked, not sure if it was passion or the alcohol that was making me mad with desire.
“I just want to hold you. Don’t question my love, just let me hold you,” he begged.
“Just promise me you won’t leave,” I moaned, curling into his chest again.
“I will be with you for as long as you need me to be,” he repeated as if it was some sort of mantra, he had to convince himself of.
6. DANCE
Winter was upon us again and the house seemed even draftier than the year before. I was able to hang extra blankets on my window to keep the wind from freezing me while I slept. I was so grateful to have Adam around so much. He continued to act as my heater. He never asked for more than just to hold me.
I was still friends with Justin. He kept trying to get me to go out more with him, but I was afraid of running into Hayden. He had told me that Hayden asked about me from time to time.
“I told him you were crazy but he doesn’t believe me,” Justin joked.
“Well, we both know you’re crazier than me,” I said, not exactly joking.
“There is a new dance club opening up in the next town over. A bunch of us are going. It might be fun, if we have a few hits before we get there. What do you say? I promise I’ll be able to get you home,” he tried to reassure me.
“I’ll think about it,” I replied. The idea of dancing sounded good, I did like to dance and it has been awhile since I’ve gone out with my friends.
On Friday I told Adam I had agreed with Justin to go dancing Saturday night. At first he didn’t mind, but later that night he seemed to change his mind.
“Why are you going with Justin? You know he’ll endanger your life. He is never sober. I really don’t think you should go,” he said, looking out the window.
“I just want to go so that I can dance. There are other people going, maybe one of them will drive if Justin can’t.” I tried to soothe him.
“We can dance here,” he said, as he turned on my radio and reaching for my waist, he twirled me around the room.
“You’re good.” I smiled at him.
“Thanks, I have never had lessons. I must be a natural,” he said, grinning.
“If you really don’t feel comfortable with me going then I won’t,” I said, trying to make him happy. He just frowned.
“Seriously though, if I was to get in an accident and die, wouldn’t I be able to come back here to you? Wouldn’t we be able to be phantoms together, forever?” I asked. Just the idea sent amazing shivers down my back, the idea of living with him always, going where we wanted whenever we wanted to, sounded like a dream come true. He didn’t look as happy as me with the idea.
“Well, I guess being with me all the time, forever, might not sound so good to you,” I said, concerned I had upset him somehow.
“I wish it worked like that, my eternal love, I really do. If you died now, you might go straight to heaven and I would still be here, alone.”
“How do you know if I’m going to heaven or hell? How do you know that I
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