with a vehement shake of her head. But at least I’d have come to know if he had developed any feelings for me, accounting for all the time we spent together. But it doesn’t appear to be so , she thought wistfully. I’m just a “hired help.” No, not even that because he hasn’t paid me a single dime for all I’ve done for him! He probably owes me a few hundred bucks by now! But I won’t ask for anything; I have my self-respect to consider.
“Ohhh…this wretched feeling!” she cried. “All I want to do right now is to kill him along with her and do it slowly without mercy. I could strangle them till their faces turn blue and their eyes pop out or perhaps plunge in a knife, twisting it slowly and watch their lives seep out. Or, like the old times, mix slow poison in his food, and as he wastes away before my eyes, I’ll let him know I did it. Yes, I killed you, Shaan!” She laughed, falling back on the bed. “That’d give me immense satisfaction and would wipe the smirk off his face. I shall then go happily to prison.”
She sat up abruptly. “But why? Why should I be condemned for something I was coerced into?” Plaintively, she eyed the ceiling. “Oh Lord! If you consider me your true child, please send down a lightning bolt and strike him down along with that, that vile woman…she could be deceiving some poor unsuspecting moron like me. And please do make sure to send both of them to hell with my best wishes.”
She moaned, pressing the tips of her fingers to her forehead. “Why, oh why, did I say yes? He looked so innocent and trustworthy in his picture unlike now when I can clearly see the sly and conniving glint in his eyes. Why do daughters have to go grow up? Why did I have to give up my career, my future, my family, even my homeland? Please call me back, Dad! I feel so miserable, so alone!
“I have no one to share my pain with, no one to speak to. I’m caught in such a strange situation. And even though it will all end in a month, I do not wish to stay or see his gloating face anymore nor do I wish to be his friend!”
Forcing her eyes shut, she attempted to gather strength to persuade herself, “But I guess I’ll have to continue. It’s the only way to make this torture tolerable.”
***
Shaan couldn’t sleep, either.
He tossed aside the book Consolations of Philosophy , which he frequently called upon whenever he found himself in a conflict for it always provided a sensible explanation for everything; be it good or bad, there was a reason. He was committing a mistake because he was prone to do so. It made it easier to accept, hence console himself, and move on. But not tonight.
Ruhi was back where she needed to be, safe, but…it was all different, upside down. She had pulled out all the stuffing from their marriage and laid it down bare for him to see how ugly it really was.
It wasn’t any better than his own parents’ alliance, which had beget a messed-up character like him, and now it was quite clear that despite all his efforts or the lack of it he was continuing the tradition.
I am no better than you, Dad! The only difference is that my wife doesn’t want to take it lying down.
Perhaps it’s better this way; this bond was doomed from the get-go. I’m not fit to be a husband, have a family, give love, and expect love in return. I’ve been programmed to fail from the start. Ruhi is right, I shouldn’t attempt to fix something which is broken, I should let her go and try to salvage what is left of my life, if anything.
Yes, let’s get on with this arrangement.
He eyed the calendar. The countdown had begun.
***
The following morning he found her in the kitchen as usual, but that was the only thing that remained the same.
No sari or salwar suit. Rather she had chosen to dress in a fiery red sleeveless shirt over white Capri pants with her hair left loose to cascade over her shoulders, cutting a very neat and alluring picture. She was sipping on a cup of what he
“Ohhh…this wretched feeling!” she cried. “All I want to do right now is to kill him along with her and do it slowly without mercy. I could strangle them till their faces turn blue and their eyes pop out or perhaps plunge in a knife, twisting it slowly and watch their lives seep out. Or, like the old times, mix slow poison in his food, and as he wastes away before my eyes, I’ll let him know I did it. Yes, I killed you, Shaan!” She laughed, falling back on the bed. “That’d give me immense satisfaction and would wipe the smirk off his face. I shall then go happily to prison.”
She sat up abruptly. “But why? Why should I be condemned for something I was coerced into?” Plaintively, she eyed the ceiling. “Oh Lord! If you consider me your true child, please send down a lightning bolt and strike him down along with that, that vile woman…she could be deceiving some poor unsuspecting moron like me. And please do make sure to send both of them to hell with my best wishes.”
She moaned, pressing the tips of her fingers to her forehead. “Why, oh why, did I say yes? He looked so innocent and trustworthy in his picture unlike now when I can clearly see the sly and conniving glint in his eyes. Why do daughters have to go grow up? Why did I have to give up my career, my future, my family, even my homeland? Please call me back, Dad! I feel so miserable, so alone!
“I have no one to share my pain with, no one to speak to. I’m caught in such a strange situation. And even though it will all end in a month, I do not wish to stay or see his gloating face anymore nor do I wish to be his friend!”
Forcing her eyes shut, she attempted to gather strength to persuade herself, “But I guess I’ll have to continue. It’s the only way to make this torture tolerable.”
***
Shaan couldn’t sleep, either.
He tossed aside the book Consolations of Philosophy , which he frequently called upon whenever he found himself in a conflict for it always provided a sensible explanation for everything; be it good or bad, there was a reason. He was committing a mistake because he was prone to do so. It made it easier to accept, hence console himself, and move on. But not tonight.
Ruhi was back where she needed to be, safe, but…it was all different, upside down. She had pulled out all the stuffing from their marriage and laid it down bare for him to see how ugly it really was.
It wasn’t any better than his own parents’ alliance, which had beget a messed-up character like him, and now it was quite clear that despite all his efforts or the lack of it he was continuing the tradition.
I am no better than you, Dad! The only difference is that my wife doesn’t want to take it lying down.
Perhaps it’s better this way; this bond was doomed from the get-go. I’m not fit to be a husband, have a family, give love, and expect love in return. I’ve been programmed to fail from the start. Ruhi is right, I shouldn’t attempt to fix something which is broken, I should let her go and try to salvage what is left of my life, if anything.
Yes, let’s get on with this arrangement.
He eyed the calendar. The countdown had begun.
***
The following morning he found her in the kitchen as usual, but that was the only thing that remained the same.
No sari or salwar suit. Rather she had chosen to dress in a fiery red sleeveless shirt over white Capri pants with her hair left loose to cascade over her shoulders, cutting a very neat and alluring picture. She was sipping on a cup of what he
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