Read Online In Her Shadow by August McLaughlin - Free Book Online

mention...” She’ll address her perceived stalker another time, she decides. Elle was probably right: the man in the car wasn’t the problem, but stress. Dr. Marsha’s insight, in a roundabout way, confirmed it.
    “The day after the episode at my grandparents,’ I was at the park with my boyfriend, Hank. One minute we were eating bagels and the next... I felt like I’d eaten something poisonous. I rushed to the bathroom and, when I it didn’t come out naturally, I used my finger to...help it along.” She pauses. “No, I didn’t just help it. I purged.”
    She awaits Dr. Marsha’s response with clenched fists, sweat pooling under her arms.
    “Have you done this before? Or since?”
    Claire shakes her head. “No, but I called you right after it happened this morning, and I didn’t feel up to eating lunch. I think I might have if I had. And I have no clue why.”
    “None at all?”
    “Only a few guesses.”
    “Such as?”
    “Well, I’d passed out due to panic that arose while eating the day before. And I have some sort of stomach bug. And this birthday was tougher than others, being the ten-year anniversary and all. What you said before, about the fear and loneliness, keeping things in... Could they inspire this type of impulse?”
    “As you know, Claire, purging often has less to do with food and everything to do with emotions. Perhaps you’ve been trying to purge yourself of those difficult emotions. I wonder what might happen if you open up some to a loved one—your grandfather, for example.”
    “You think my symptoms would go away?”
    “They may.”
    “It’s strange... I know I can go to Gramps with anything, but we’re so used to avoiding the subjects of Mom, Dad and the accident. Doing so feels a bit wrong. Like I’ll break the rules or burden him.”
    “Have you considered that he might want to discuss these things? He’s been forced to bottle things up similarly, no?”
    “He has... I suppose I’ve been too fixated on my end of that bargain to give his much thought.” Claire sits up straighter, feeling as though the light in the room brightened. “Talk about an a-ha moment.”
    Dr. Marsha pulls out a thick, black appointment book. “That will do it for today. Would you like to schedule another session? This slot is open next week.”
    Claire checks the calendar on her phone, part of her mind stuck on Grandpa, sharing a heart-to-heart about Mom. If she didn’t have patients of her own to tend to, she might race off to see him right now. “Next week sounds great.”
    Claire exits the building with renewed confidence. But once settled in her car, she sees him.
    A man sits in his car at the lot’s perimeter, facing her. The color and shape of the car matches the car she saw at the digestive center.
    It’s nothing, she tells herself. Lots of people drive black SUVs. Stress triggered her paranoia the other day when she felt watched; this is simply a reminder. An exact reminder, she notes, unable to quell the feeling—watchful eyes, staring from a distance. They burn into her skin, sending chills over it.
    She examines the car in the mirror then turns to face the driver directly, hoping he’ll shift his focus elsewhere.
    He doesn’t. Her chills rise higher.
    Drive over there, she commands herself. Facing your fear can take it away . With shallow breath she turns the key in the ignition.
    A knock on her window causes her to jump.
    “Claire.”
    Dr. Marsha stands outside the window, holding Claire’s pocketbook. She rolls down the window.
    “Sorry if I startled you,” the therapist says. “Figured you might need this.”
    “Thank you. I do.”
    “Are you all right?”
    “I’m—yes, I’m fine.” Her breath sounds as though she’s just sprinted a mile. Should she tell her?
    She glances in the rearview mirror. The car is gone.
     

Chapter Sixteen
     
    She stirs the potatoes.As the garlic scent wafts into her nose, she wishes he’d stop staring. His eyes feel like fire