Read Online If Someone Says "You Complete Me," RUN! by Whoopi Goldberg - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Whoopi Goldberg
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drug. It’s why all those songs and movies are written: to capture that elusive, short-lived feeling that some people—and in my youth I might have been one of those people—think love is supposed to feel like. It is being in love with love.
To you, the other person can do no wrong. Nothing he does is odd. It’s all cute. It’s all really cute.
In the beginning, when you’re with that new person, you can’t let go of the fart, right? Then, when you’ve been with someone forever, you will let it go and stink up the room and you don’t care, but in the beginning you’re holding it in. If one little poop comes out, it’s cute. “Oh, a stinky!” Four years from now it’s like, “What the fuck was that?”
I always say be yourself from the very beginning. So I will let one rip, and then I will always know if therelationship is going to go past a week. It’s like saying, “If we’re going to be living together or spending a lot of time together, there are some things you are just going to have to deal with.” Now, I’m not going to go and fart at the restaurant, but I am going to tell you when I get up to go to the bathroom, “I’m going to go fart, because I can’t fart here.” To me, that’s natural.
I know lots of people who will never, ever fart in front of the person they are with. Maybe that’s how they were raised, but not me. I’m a farter. I like to be comfortable. But I have learned in my life places to fart and places not to fart. If you’re in my bed, for instance, you have to follow my rules. The only bad part about all this is that my bedmate also has the same freedom. This is why I’m alone. Because I don’t
want
him to have the same freedom.
But that’s neither here nor there.
The first blush of a relationship makes you so different. Your friends are looking at you trying to figure out what’s going on, because the change is happening. You’re not as schlubby as you were, maybe. Or you’re wearing more adornment. You’re better scented. And you walk differently. You walk like “I’m walking on sunshine, oh-ohhhhhhh.” It’s all great, and Bambi is coming up and eating right out of your hand, and little butterflies are flying around, and birds are singing. He or she—or they, depending on if you’re in a threesome—has a halo over them. They are, in those early days, perfection.
A lot of this is just a chemical reaction. All those endorphins and dopamine create a different kind of energy. Chemical reaction or not, though, no one tells the truth in the beginning. You don’t dress that way all the time. You don’t smell like that all the time. You don’t have wear expensive, completely impractical lingerie all the time. You don’t look like that all the time. You don’t comb your hair that often. I can attest to that.
This chemical reaction part subsides much sooner than two or three years. I think it can even subside after a few months.
Do people mistake that newness as love, and are so quick to say, “I love you”? Yes, they do. After all, we’ve been programmed to say those words, that it is the next natural thing that’s supposed to happen in this situation. You meet somebody and have fun with him and really like him and have some nice sex, and then, in a short amount of time, you tell him you love him.
It is a mistake to confuse love with chemistry, or love with that heightened state of infatuation in the beginning. But a lot of people think that’s what love is, and when that initial period is over, so is the relationship. They can’t go to the next level, which is the real level.
I’ll bet if you asked people to describe what love means to them or what love is to them, very few people could do it.
People mistake love for “I really like being with you.”
People mistake love for “We have great times in bed.”
People mistake love for “I need you to protect me.”
And people mistake love for “You take care of me.”
Then, if they stick
To you, the other person can do no wrong. Nothing he does is odd. It’s all cute. It’s all really cute.
In the beginning, when you’re with that new person, you can’t let go of the fart, right? Then, when you’ve been with someone forever, you will let it go and stink up the room and you don’t care, but in the beginning you’re holding it in. If one little poop comes out, it’s cute. “Oh, a stinky!” Four years from now it’s like, “What the fuck was that?”
I always say be yourself from the very beginning. So I will let one rip, and then I will always know if therelationship is going to go past a week. It’s like saying, “If we’re going to be living together or spending a lot of time together, there are some things you are just going to have to deal with.” Now, I’m not going to go and fart at the restaurant, but I am going to tell you when I get up to go to the bathroom, “I’m going to go fart, because I can’t fart here.” To me, that’s natural.
I know lots of people who will never, ever fart in front of the person they are with. Maybe that’s how they were raised, but not me. I’m a farter. I like to be comfortable. But I have learned in my life places to fart and places not to fart. If you’re in my bed, for instance, you have to follow my rules. The only bad part about all this is that my bedmate also has the same freedom. This is why I’m alone. Because I don’t
want
him to have the same freedom.
But that’s neither here nor there.
The first blush of a relationship makes you so different. Your friends are looking at you trying to figure out what’s going on, because the change is happening. You’re not as schlubby as you were, maybe. Or you’re wearing more adornment. You’re better scented. And you walk differently. You walk like “I’m walking on sunshine, oh-ohhhhhhh.” It’s all great, and Bambi is coming up and eating right out of your hand, and little butterflies are flying around, and birds are singing. He or she—or they, depending on if you’re in a threesome—has a halo over them. They are, in those early days, perfection.
A lot of this is just a chemical reaction. All those endorphins and dopamine create a different kind of energy. Chemical reaction or not, though, no one tells the truth in the beginning. You don’t dress that way all the time. You don’t smell like that all the time. You don’t have wear expensive, completely impractical lingerie all the time. You don’t look like that all the time. You don’t comb your hair that often. I can attest to that.
This chemical reaction part subsides much sooner than two or three years. I think it can even subside after a few months.
Do people mistake that newness as love, and are so quick to say, “I love you”? Yes, they do. After all, we’ve been programmed to say those words, that it is the next natural thing that’s supposed to happen in this situation. You meet somebody and have fun with him and really like him and have some nice sex, and then, in a short amount of time, you tell him you love him.
It is a mistake to confuse love with chemistry, or love with that heightened state of infatuation in the beginning. But a lot of people think that’s what love is, and when that initial period is over, so is the relationship. They can’t go to the next level, which is the real level.
I’ll bet if you asked people to describe what love means to them or what love is to them, very few people could do it.
People mistake love for “I really like being with you.”
People mistake love for “We have great times in bed.”
People mistake love for “I need you to protect me.”
And people mistake love for “You take care of me.”
Then, if they stick
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