Read Online I Shall Not Want by Julia Spencer-Fleming - Free Book Online

being forcefully jolly. Trying to “make him feel better.” They didn’t want to know crap like that.
    Clare would understand.
    As always these days, the thought of her brought with it a wave of longing and loss and guilt and self-loathing. For once, he welcomed the acidic brew. It blew away the fog of fear and made this barn just another barn, just another place he had to be before he could climb into bed and achieve his fondest desire: total unconsciousness.
    His relations were looking at him expectantly. “Yeah,” he said. “Impressive.”
    Janet and Mike beamed at each other. “I knew you’d think so,” Janet said. “It’s ours.”
    “Well, ours and Mom’s.” Mike put his arm around his mother-in-law.
    Margy grinned. “Surprised ya!”
    “What?” Russ stared at them. “Yours?”
    “The Petersons wanted to sell out and retire,” Mike said. “It was the perfect opportunity to expand our operation.”
    “We’re doubling our herd to two hundred and forty head!” Janet said. “Plus an additional fifty acres with hayfields—”
    “We’ll be able to grow most of our own feed corn,” Mike broke in.
    “—and produce three million more pounds of milk a year!”
    Russ held up his hands. “Wait a minute, wait a minute. I’m no farmer, but even I know doubling the size of your herd means a big jump in expenses. Not to be nosy, but how are you swinging this?”
    His brother-in-law grinned. “Well, we thought first we might raise a cash crop of wacky weed, but we figured that wouldn’t fly so well, with you being the chief of police and all. So we got a loan from the bank of Mom.” He put his arm around Margy’s shoulders and squeezed.
    “Not all Mom,” Janet added. “We took out a mortgage on our place.”
    “I’m a partner.” His mother beamed. “It’s an investment.”
    “An investment?” Russ gaped at the trio. “In a dairy farm? There’s been at least one farm closed in this county every year for the past twenty years!” He rounded on Janet. “You think that’s a safe investment for a seventy-five-year-old woman on a fixed income?”
    “Russell!” His mother sounded shocked.
    “Mom, I can’t believe you’d do something so irresponsible.”
    “It’s my money,” she said, at the same time Janet said, “Who are you to tell Mom what she can and can’t do?”
    “I’m looking out for her future. And if you thought a little bit more about her and less about yourself—”
    “Oh!” Janet stepped toward him, her eyes—the same eyes he had inherited from their father—blazing hot blue. “All those years you were gallivanting all over the world in the army, who was looking out for her then? I was! I was the one who stayed here in Millers Kill and spent every Sunday with her year in and year out when the only thing she’d see from you was a postcard!”
    “And that gives you the right to get her involved in this idiotic—ow!”
    Janet let out a similar screech of pain. Margy had reached up—way up, since they had also both inherited their dad’s height—and pinched hold of their earlobes.
    “Ow! Ow, Mom, stop it!”
    “Not until you two stop behaving like a pair of brats fighting over a lollipop.”
    Russ hadn’t heard that voice from her in years. He had no doubt she would tear his ear half off if he didn’t back down. He raised his hands in surrender. Janet did the same. Their mother let go. They both stumbled back a few steps, rubbing their respective injuries.
    “Russell, I’m sorry you don’t approve of my investing in Janet and Mike’s farm, but I’ve been handling my own money for nigh on thirty-five years, and I’m not about to start having somebody else make my decisions now.” Janet’s tense shoulders relaxed until Margy turned on her. “Janet, if you’re trying to tell me the reason you stayed in Millers Kill after you graduated was to keep me company—”
    “No! I mean… no.”
    “Good. Didn’t think so. One of you stayed and one of you