Read Online I Left My Back Door Open by April Sinclair - Free Book Online Page B

agreed.
    â€œMom, you can’t have it both ways. I can’t grow up and stay your little girl.”
    â€œWell, try.”
    â€œTo answer your question,” I broke in, “no, I’m not repulsed by the thought of two women being together. I’ve seen it in movies. I’ve read about it in books. If there’s a good story line, I can share the fantasy. I’m just not interested in doing it myself, that’s all.”
    â€œWell, that’s cool.”
    â€œCool was never the issue. I will continue to be your cool role model,” I said.
    Sharon and Tyeesha giggled. “I don’t have a problem with gay people,” I continued. “This is 1996, not 1956. I work with gay people. I even have a gay friend. You remember Randall.”
    â€œHow could I forget? You cried a river on my shoulder.”
    â€œWell, once I got over the shock and the betrayal, Randall and I became closer than we ever were when we called ourselves dating,” I admitted. “He confides in me and so can you.”
    â€œI was just afraid that you might be more threatened by a lesbian than a gay man.”
    â€œLook, I don’t feel threatened at all. That was never the issue,” I said, running a yellow light. “I’m secure in my sexual identity.”
    â€œI’m glad to hear that.”
    â€œIt just seems like you should’ve figured yours out twenty years ago. That’s my only sticking point.”
    â€œMaybe I was in too much denial back then. I was numbing myself with alcohol, remember.”
    â€œSharon, if I remembered the seventies, I wouldn’t have really been there.”
    â€œAnd if I’d come out , back then, I wouldn’t have T. Did you ever think of that?’”
    â€œThat’s right, I would’ve never been born,” a voice protested from the backseat. “And without me, she’s nothing.”
    â€œDream on, big ears!” Sharon teased.
    â€œI guess sometimes things happen when they’re supposed to happen,” I conceded.
    â€œ Sí .” Sharon nodded as I pulled in front of her South Loop townhouse.
    â€œ No por mucho madrugar amanece más temprano : Just because you rise very early, doesn’t mean daybreak is going to come any sooner.”

five
    When I first laid eyes on the mediator, I saw that he wasn’t fine. Skylar Thompson looked no better than most reasonably attractive brothas in horn-rimmed glasses. But he was still easy on my eyes. Because my eyes weren’t looking for fine. They were just scoping for a man that was attractive to me . And Skylar’s full, kissable lips definitely rang my bells. Not to mention his bunny-shaped nose that made me want to nuzzle it. His satiny smooth skin reminded me of the color and finish of a violin that beckoned to be stroked. I enjoyed finding a man attractive by my standards. It was like listening to my own private orchestra.
    I wore a dark, loose, African print dress that I hoped camouflaged my weight. I’d been good last night. I’d walked on my treadmill forty minutes and avoided my usual late-night snack. I’d eaten a light breakfast and a vegetarian lunch. Tomorrow night, I’d be taking my first belly dance class. Now, if I could just land this brotha, it would feel like Christmas in July.
    Skylar cleared his throat. His eyes were earnest. “I asked for a private meeting, or ‘caucus’ as we like to call them, with one disputant at a time”—he paused, massaging his chin with his thumb and index finger—“in order to first get a clear idea of your goals and needs.”
    My goal is to get to know you better, and my need is get to know you better , I thought, gazing accross the conference table. I’d always been a sucker for earnest eyes.
    â€œMediation is a non-adversarial process,” Skylar continued.
    I’m a lover, not a fighter , I thought, dreamily supporting my chin with one