Read Online I Left My Back Door Open by April Sinclair - Free Book Online Page A

chosen to be gay. But I’m not ashamed of who I am. And I’m not going to beg for anybody else’s approval.”
    â€œI don’t think you should. You have to do what’s right for you. It’s just a surprise, that’s all. I mean, you must’ve had some inkling all these years. You’re forty-two years old, for heaven’s sake. Isn’t it a little late to be coming out of the closet?”
    â€œYeah, it’s embarrassing. I’m probably too ancient to do anything about it. My dentures might fall out,” she said sarcastically.
    â€œYou’re getting oral now. Remember, T’s here.”
    â€œI forgot for a minute.”
    â€œSpeaking of Tyeesha, I would expect it more coming from her.” I sighed. “I hate to say it, but it just seems so lame at your age.”
    â€œExcuse me?” Tyeesha pulled off her headphones. “Keep my name out of it.”
    â€œIt’s just that you’re young, your hormones are raging. Your mother’s on the verge of menopause. Her hot days are behind her. She’ll be facing hot flashes soon,” I said.
    â€œLife begins at forty,” Sharon declared.
    â€œWell, for the record, I’m strictly dickly,” Tyeesha informed me.
    â€œYour virgin behind better hush,” Sharon warned.
    â€œSharon, didn’t you have a crush on a teacher or friends or somebody?”
    â€œYeah, a few times, but I repressed them. Boys showed interest in me and I was relieved. I didn’t see being gay as an option.”
    I hesitated. “You didn’t have a crush on me, did you?” I asked, glancing at the rows of chocolate brick apartment buildings above the freeway.
    â€œYeah, I did.”
    â€œOh, really? When?” I swallowed.
    â€œWay back when we were kids.”
    â€œOh.” I breathed a sigh of relief. And let a car cut in front of me. “When we were still back at Morgan Park High?”
    â€œNo, even before that, eighth grade, back at Shoop. As soon as I got to know you, it wore off.”
    â€œWell thanks; I mean, I’m glad that your attraction was short-lived. But you know you could do worse.”
    â€œYou can’t have it both ways. You’re my best friend, but you’re just not my type, romantically. That’s all.”
    â€œSo, what is your type, romantically? I mean, just out of curiosity.”
    â€œI’m not sure. But you’re a little too artsy to be my type. Maybe we’re too much alike.”
    â€œWell, that’s a relief.”
    â€œSo, Dee Dee, tell me quick before I faint. Is we friends or is we ain’t?”
    â€œI hope we stay the best of friends,” I said, glimpsing the breathtaking downtown skyline. “This doesn’t change that as far as I’m concerned.” I sighed. “I guess I was partly looking at this from a marketing standpoint. I just like to think of my friends as being on the cutting edge. I mean, lesbian is so passé. Can you at least identify yourself as bisexual? That way you can keep your options open. You should see all the personal ads in the Sun-Times from black women who are bi-curious or bisexual. It’s damn near an epidemic. Why not ride that wave?”
    â€œBecause I’m not interested in being trendy. I’m just interested in being Sharon.”
    I glanced sideways at Sharon as I exited the freeway. “Girlfriend, I may not understand you, but I accept you.”
    â€œThen can I be open with you?”
    â€œOpen about what? You haven’t done anything. You don’t have any firsthand experience. You don’t even have a lab coat yet.”
    â€œIf and when I do, I don’t want to feel like I have to repress myself. Like I can’t talk about stuff. If the thought of two women making love repulses you, let me know now.”
    â€œUgh,” Tyeesha volunteered.
    â€œGrow up, Tyeesha.”
    â€œYeah, grow up Tyeesha,” I