Read Online How to Make Love All Night (and Drive Your Woman Wild) (And Drive a Woman Wild : Male Multiple Orgasm and Other Secrets for Prolonged Lovemaking) by Ph.D. Barbara Keesling - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Ph.D. Barbara Keesling
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Don’t hold your breath. Just close your eyes, relax, HOW TO MAKE LOVE ALL NIGHT / 77
and focus on her caresses. If you become very aroused and you ejaculate, that’s okay. Just let your partner wipe you off and continue her caress. The important thing is that you don’t try to force anything.
If your partner senses that you are tensing up, she should signal you to relax by gently tapping you on the leg. The only time you should talk to her is if she is doing something that makes you uncomfortable. Otherwise, just release yourself into the moment and enjoy the sensations.
If you find yourself drifting off, gently bring your focus back to where your partner is touching you. It doesn’t matter how often you drift. Just practice bringing yourself back into the moment.
If you don’t have a partner, or if you prefer to practice by yourself, the sensate focus genital caress is still quite pleasurable. It is important to remember that this is not a masturbation exercise. It is a way of experiencing the many rich sensations of your own arousal. Ejaculation is not a goal. If it happens, that’s fine, but you are not trying to make it happen.
Your goal is simply to create and experience as much sensation in your penis as possible.
Exercise 5: Alone at Last (solo)
Lie on your back, close your eyes, and get very comfortable (you may prefer to sit in a comfortable chair). Using plenty of lubrication, slowly, gently touch yourself in a caressing way. You may want to start by touching your nipples or thighs, since both
78 / BARBARA KEESLING, PH.D.
are probably quite sensitive. Then slowly move to the genitals. Once you begin caressing your penis, do not use a masturbation stroke. Do not try to turn yourself on. Explore every crease and fold in the genital area. Take your time.
Remember that the most important thing is to stay as relaxed as possible and focused on the here and now. You are not trying to do anything except enjoy the sensations. If you have an erection, that’s fine. If you don’t, that’s fine too. But you should not be trying to give yourself one. This is a pressure-free exercise. All you want to do is experience the richness of your own arousal. If your mind starts to wander, gently bring your focus back to the sensations you’re experiencing in the moment. This may happen several times. That’s okay. Just keep bringing your focus back to the exercise.
TROUBLESHOOTING TIP: If you have thoughts like,
“I wonder if I’m really hard,” or “I wonder if I could give myself an orgasm,” you are thinking about your performance. That means you’re putting subtle pressure on yourself. Just stay with the sensations. That’s your only goal.
I suggest you do this exercise for at least twenty minutes, if not longer. Thirty minutes is ideal. Sometimes, in the absence of a partner, there is a tendency to rush everything. This defeats the whole purpose of sensate focus. Remember that the emphasis is on sensuality, not sexuality. Some men HOW TO MAKE LOVE ALL NIGHT / 79
feel a bit self-conscious during this exercise. This is very normal, especially if you are a man who does not masturbate often, or someone who tends to rush to the point of climax.
Don’t be concerned. Your discomfort should ease over time.
It Sure Feels Good, But…
The sensate focus genital caress feels pretty terrific. That’s reason enough to learn it. From this point on, almost every exercise in this book begins with this caress. That’s another good reason to learn it. But why is it so important?
The sensate focus genital caress lets you pay attention to your sensations without getting distracted. It lets you focus.
It lets you stay in the here and now. And it keeps the pressure off you and off your partner. You need to be able to do all of these things to master the art of male multiple orgasm.
We can talk and talk about the many benefits of the sensate focus genital caress. But you need some experience actually feeling it.
and focus on her caresses. If you become very aroused and you ejaculate, that’s okay. Just let your partner wipe you off and continue her caress. The important thing is that you don’t try to force anything.
If your partner senses that you are tensing up, she should signal you to relax by gently tapping you on the leg. The only time you should talk to her is if she is doing something that makes you uncomfortable. Otherwise, just release yourself into the moment and enjoy the sensations.
If you find yourself drifting off, gently bring your focus back to where your partner is touching you. It doesn’t matter how often you drift. Just practice bringing yourself back into the moment.
If you don’t have a partner, or if you prefer to practice by yourself, the sensate focus genital caress is still quite pleasurable. It is important to remember that this is not a masturbation exercise. It is a way of experiencing the many rich sensations of your own arousal. Ejaculation is not a goal. If it happens, that’s fine, but you are not trying to make it happen.
Your goal is simply to create and experience as much sensation in your penis as possible.
Exercise 5: Alone at Last (solo)
Lie on your back, close your eyes, and get very comfortable (you may prefer to sit in a comfortable chair). Using plenty of lubrication, slowly, gently touch yourself in a caressing way. You may want to start by touching your nipples or thighs, since both
78 / BARBARA KEESLING, PH.D.
are probably quite sensitive. Then slowly move to the genitals. Once you begin caressing your penis, do not use a masturbation stroke. Do not try to turn yourself on. Explore every crease and fold in the genital area. Take your time.
Remember that the most important thing is to stay as relaxed as possible and focused on the here and now. You are not trying to do anything except enjoy the sensations. If you have an erection, that’s fine. If you don’t, that’s fine too. But you should not be trying to give yourself one. This is a pressure-free exercise. All you want to do is experience the richness of your own arousal. If your mind starts to wander, gently bring your focus back to the sensations you’re experiencing in the moment. This may happen several times. That’s okay. Just keep bringing your focus back to the exercise.
TROUBLESHOOTING TIP: If you have thoughts like,
“I wonder if I’m really hard,” or “I wonder if I could give myself an orgasm,” you are thinking about your performance. That means you’re putting subtle pressure on yourself. Just stay with the sensations. That’s your only goal.
I suggest you do this exercise for at least twenty minutes, if not longer. Thirty minutes is ideal. Sometimes, in the absence of a partner, there is a tendency to rush everything. This defeats the whole purpose of sensate focus. Remember that the emphasis is on sensuality, not sexuality. Some men HOW TO MAKE LOVE ALL NIGHT / 79
feel a bit self-conscious during this exercise. This is very normal, especially if you are a man who does not masturbate often, or someone who tends to rush to the point of climax.
Don’t be concerned. Your discomfort should ease over time.
It Sure Feels Good, But…
The sensate focus genital caress feels pretty terrific. That’s reason enough to learn it. From this point on, almost every exercise in this book begins with this caress. That’s another good reason to learn it. But why is it so important?
The sensate focus genital caress lets you pay attention to your sensations without getting distracted. It lets you focus.
It lets you stay in the here and now. And it keeps the pressure off you and off your partner. You need to be able to do all of these things to master the art of male multiple orgasm.
We can talk and talk about the many benefits of the sensate focus genital caress. But you need some experience actually feeling it.
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