cause minimal disruption, whereas if he left, I donât know how we would manage. Iâm the man. Iâm the daddy. Not because I have a job, but because David doesnât, not really, and is therefore the primary carer. That is why it is so easy for me to imagine moving out â because fathers always move out. And thatâs why itâs so easy to imagine Molly not talking to me â she would never choose me over David, and in any case, a daughter always refuses to speak to her father after she has discovered heâs been having an affair. Thereâs all that stuff that goes on, the wholeFreudian thing. Is it too much to suggest that Molly is actually sexually jealous of me?
âTom?â
âYo.â
âDo you think of me as your mum or your dad?â
âWhat?â
âDonât even think about it, just say the first thing that comes into your head.â
âMum.â
âAre you sure? You didnât have to think for a couple of seconds because you were confused?â
âNo. I think of you as my mum, and Dad as my dad.â
âWhy?â
âMum, Iâm really busy, OK?â And he shakes his head sadly.
Â
Molly has always suffered from eczema, ever since she was very little. She gets it everywhere â hands, arms, legs, stomach â and no amount of creams or diets or homeopathic remedies have managed to affect it. This morning, before she went to school, I applied a very powerful and probably harmful steroid cream to her hands, which were covered in painful-looking cracks. But when she comes home, she runs down the hall and thrusts her hands at me, and thereâs not a trace of it anywhere. I lift up her fleece, and itâs the same story on her stomach; she shows me the backs of her legs, and thereâs nothing there either. And of course my stomach turns over when I hear Molly and David come in, and of course Iâm terrified about what this evening might hold; but all any of us can talk about is what has happened to Mollyâs ugly red sores. (And if Mollyâs eczema is more important than my adultery, then what is the point of adultery in the first place?)
âThatâs amazing,â I say.
âHe just touched it and it went away,â says Molly. âI could see it go.â
âHe didnât just touch it,â says David. âHe used a cream.â
âHe didnât, Daddy. I was watching. He didnât do anything. He just touched it.â
âWith the cream.â
âHe just touched it, Mummy.â
âWho just touched it?â
âDJ GoodNews.â
âAh. DJ GoodNews. I should have known. Is there nothing DJ GoodNews canât do?â
âHe happened to mention that he was good with eczema,â says David. âSo I thought it was worth a try.â
âBacks and eczema. Thatâs quite an unusual combination of specialisms.â
âHe did Daddyâs headache as well,â says Molly.
âWhat headache?â I ask David.
âJust a . . . just a normal headache. I just happened to mention that I had one, and he . . . massaged my temples. It was good.â
âSo, head, eczema, back. Heâs a real wizard, isnât he? Another two hundred quid?â
âAnd you donât think this is worth it?â
I snort, although I donât know what the snort is intended to convey. I donât know why Iâm being like this. I would have paid double that to make Molly better, but the opportunity to snipe is always irresistible, whatever the circumstances.
âYou should go, Tom,â says Molly. âItâs great. You go all warm.â
âThatâs the cream,â says David. âHe did that with my back.â
âHe didnât use any cream. Daddy, why do you keep saying he used cream when he didnât?â
âYou couldnât see what he was doing.â
âI could. Anyway, I know what
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