Read Online House Infernal by Edward Lee by Edward Lee - Free Book Online

house, and as her eyes took in the building's features she
couldn't quell the macabre fascination.
    The house I'm walking through now was built by a
Satanist....

(II)
    "You fuckin' gotta be motherfucking shitting me, man,"
Ruth grumbled.
    She sat huddled next to Father Alexander's torso. The
small boat rose on each swell of blood. Everywhere she
looked, she saw red: the sea, the sky. She was snow-blind
by blood.
    .You really have terrible language, Ruth, not that I'm
one to talk," the priest remarked.
    Ruth barely heard him. "Aw, fuck it. I know. I've always
said the F word. Can't fucking help it."
    "Sure you can. I was the same way. Even when I was a
priest I used profane language, and that's just not cool
for a priest but I did it anyway. It's actually kind of
funny: Several times I got reprimanded by monsignors
for cussing. I got reassigned from cushy counseling
posts in nice cities, got transferred, got kicked out of
quality clerical jobs-all for cussing. I guess I was trying
to be a 'hip' priest, I was trying to be real-world, but it
was all a sham. Foul language defames God-that's why
we shouldn't use it. Foul language separates us from
Grace."
    "Who's Grace? Some chick you had the hots for?"
    "Never mind..."
    He's giving me shit about cussing. I'm in fucking Hell ... It
was ridiculous. She squinted hard, shielding her eyes
from the scarlet glare.
    More quiet words came. "I have a lot to tell you. Might
as well start now. I'll try not to overwhelm you."
    "I'm already fuckin' overwhelmed."
    The boat swayed on another swell of blood. The torso
turned his head to her. "Something's in the works, Ruththat's the best way to look at it. And we need your help."
    "We?"
    "I told you earlier, I have an intelligence source that's
very powerful. And don't worry, you're not expected to
work for free. There's something in this for both of us."

    "What's in it for you?" she said sarcastically. "New
arms and legs, I hope."
    "Not quite. But if we succeed, my sentence to Purgatory
gets revoked, and I'll be transferred to Heaven."
    "Oh yeah? And what's in it for me?"
    "You own Condemnation to Hell gets commuted to a
Condemnation to Purgatory."
    Her eyes snapped to him. "Purgatory's, like, not
Heaven but-"
    "But a lot better than this, trust me."
    Her trashy yet pretty face beamed. "That fuckin' rocks,
man! I'm in!"
    "I mean, well," he stumbled on something. "There's a
little bit of a catch."
    Ruth's happy smile turned to a knife-sharp frown.
"There always fuckin' is."
    "Yes, you get to go to Purgatory but-"
    "But what!" she yelled.
    "But you have to wait a thousand years first...
    Ruth wanted to dump the human torso overboard. "A
thousand fuckin' years!"
    "It's not that bad, Ruth, considering the alternative," he
added hastily.
    "And how long do you have to wait to get transferred to
Heaven?"
    "Well, what I mean is, if you and I succeed with this
mission, I get commuted to Heaven ... instantly."
    "Oh, that's real fair!" Ruth started to get up. "I'm pushing your ass overboard, you fucker! Fuck this shit! Spent
my whole life on earth getting shit on by men, and now
I'm still getting shit on! By you!"
    "Ruth!- to what you're saying! Don't blow your
only chance to ever get out of here. You've been offered
something that no one else ever gets down here: hope."
    That prospect simmered her down. "A square deal-no
bullshit, no snow jobs?"
    "A square deal, Ruth. And these folks never BS."
    Ruth thought on that one. Maybe the reason she'd
never been a good person was because she'd never gotten a square deal. I guess it's better than a poke in the eye with a
sharp stick, she thought.

    "We've quite a journey ahead of us. First and foremost,
we'll have to be very careful," he said. "I wasn't and ...
well, you can see what happened to me."
    Again, she looked at his chopped stumps. "What did
happen to you?"
    Something like a toad with leathery wings flapped
overhead. "My source did foresee your arrival at