Read Online Horns & Wrinkles by Joseph Helgerson - Free Book Online
Authors: Joseph Helgerson
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like being stone."
"You know Grandpa B?"
"Only since he was a boy."
Nineteen
Talking Silver
Since you can hardly lift a rock around here without some story about Grandpa B crawling out, I wasn't totally surprised that the old lady knew him.
"Well," I said, "my cousin claims they turned his parents into stone with some kind of feather. Does that sound right?"
"Oh, yes. That's just what a stone feather would do."
"Thought so." I nodded, trying hard to act like an old river hand, even though I'd never before heard so much as a whisper about this kind of rivery business. "So when Grandpa went charging in and touched Duke's parentsâmore stone."
"Sounds like your grandpa," she agreed, "but he should have known better."
"He got pushed."
"Why, that's terrible," she said. "Is that why you're helping them out? So they'll turn them back?"
"Something like that." All of a sudden I went teary despite myself.
"There, there," she soothed. "You'll just have to get ahold of something they want really bad and trade it for the feather."
"I tried silver dollarsâthey weren't interested."
"Any other time they would have been," she assured me, "but those boys are about to pay Bodacious Deepthink a visit. That means they're only interested in silver that can buy them screens."
"I know, I know," I said wearily. "And it's got to be silver from their mothers' purses."
"I'm afraid so. You'll just have to bide your time and keep your eyes open for something else to trade them. And whatever you do, don't let them trick you into touching the feather unless you're wearing a stone glove. Touch it without one and you're a goner."
"A stone glove?" I repeated, blinking.
"They'll have one around somewhere," she said, patting my arm reassuringly. "They couldn't hold the feather without it. That's about all I can tell you, I'm afraid, except that if you find yourself in a pinch, throw a riddle at 'em. That should at least buy you some time. If they were rock trolls, I'd say a riddle would be sure-fire. Rock trolls can't ever turn down a chance to prove how smart they are. River trolls are generally smarter than that, but they'll often as not bite on a riddle too."
"I'll try to remember," I promised.
"Good. As for Jim Dandy and his bunch, they're lucky I'll sell you any screens. They broke in here the other night and stole three ukuleles."
"I saw them playing just one." I was trying to be helpful.
"I stole the other two back." She winked. "And I'll get that third one too, if Bodacious doesn't get it first. Oh, don't look so surprised. It's not the ukulele she cares about: it's young river trolls. She tries to make miners out of them, which is what started all this nonsense in the first place. A long time back, Bodacious hired three river trolls to help her mine to the moon. They were never seen again."
"The moon?" I'm afraid my mouth was hanging open. "How can you dig a mine to something in the sky?"
"Better not let Bodacious Deepthink hear you say that," she warned, raising a finger to her lips. "As far as she's concerned, when the moon sets, it sinks into the earth. You see, rock trolls believe that long, long ago the moon was their home. When it rises at night, they get misty-eyed just looking at it. Bodacious has staked her whole reputation on getting them back there, and nothing matters more to a rock troll than reputation."
"I had no idea." I swallowed hard. "But what happened to the missing miners?"
"Nobody knows. Bo claims she paid each of them a lucky cricket and sent them home, but the only ones who ever made it home were the crickets."
"What do they say happened?"
"Who knows? Bo keeps the crickets locked away, except when trading for shooting stars. Of course the three river trolls' wives retaliated by dulling Bo's picks and shovels with a curse. Bo didn't waste any time dreaming up a curse of her own. Back and forth they went, until the river trolls came up with a doozy: Bo will never find the moon until the three
"You know Grandpa B?"
"Only since he was a boy."
Nineteen
Talking Silver
Since you can hardly lift a rock around here without some story about Grandpa B crawling out, I wasn't totally surprised that the old lady knew him.
"Well," I said, "my cousin claims they turned his parents into stone with some kind of feather. Does that sound right?"
"Oh, yes. That's just what a stone feather would do."
"Thought so." I nodded, trying hard to act like an old river hand, even though I'd never before heard so much as a whisper about this kind of rivery business. "So when Grandpa went charging in and touched Duke's parentsâmore stone."
"Sounds like your grandpa," she agreed, "but he should have known better."
"He got pushed."
"Why, that's terrible," she said. "Is that why you're helping them out? So they'll turn them back?"
"Something like that." All of a sudden I went teary despite myself.
"There, there," she soothed. "You'll just have to get ahold of something they want really bad and trade it for the feather."
"I tried silver dollarsâthey weren't interested."
"Any other time they would have been," she assured me, "but those boys are about to pay Bodacious Deepthink a visit. That means they're only interested in silver that can buy them screens."
"I know, I know," I said wearily. "And it's got to be silver from their mothers' purses."
"I'm afraid so. You'll just have to bide your time and keep your eyes open for something else to trade them. And whatever you do, don't let them trick you into touching the feather unless you're wearing a stone glove. Touch it without one and you're a goner."
"A stone glove?" I repeated, blinking.
"They'll have one around somewhere," she said, patting my arm reassuringly. "They couldn't hold the feather without it. That's about all I can tell you, I'm afraid, except that if you find yourself in a pinch, throw a riddle at 'em. That should at least buy you some time. If they were rock trolls, I'd say a riddle would be sure-fire. Rock trolls can't ever turn down a chance to prove how smart they are. River trolls are generally smarter than that, but they'll often as not bite on a riddle too."
"I'll try to remember," I promised.
"Good. As for Jim Dandy and his bunch, they're lucky I'll sell you any screens. They broke in here the other night and stole three ukuleles."
"I saw them playing just one." I was trying to be helpful.
"I stole the other two back." She winked. "And I'll get that third one too, if Bodacious doesn't get it first. Oh, don't look so surprised. It's not the ukulele she cares about: it's young river trolls. She tries to make miners out of them, which is what started all this nonsense in the first place. A long time back, Bodacious hired three river trolls to help her mine to the moon. They were never seen again."
"The moon?" I'm afraid my mouth was hanging open. "How can you dig a mine to something in the sky?"
"Better not let Bodacious Deepthink hear you say that," she warned, raising a finger to her lips. "As far as she's concerned, when the moon sets, it sinks into the earth. You see, rock trolls believe that long, long ago the moon was their home. When it rises at night, they get misty-eyed just looking at it. Bodacious has staked her whole reputation on getting them back there, and nothing matters more to a rock troll than reputation."
"I had no idea." I swallowed hard. "But what happened to the missing miners?"
"Nobody knows. Bo claims she paid each of them a lucky cricket and sent them home, but the only ones who ever made it home were the crickets."
"What do they say happened?"
"Who knows? Bo keeps the crickets locked away, except when trading for shooting stars. Of course the three river trolls' wives retaliated by dulling Bo's picks and shovels with a curse. Bo didn't waste any time dreaming up a curse of her own. Back and forth they went, until the river trolls came up with a doozy: Bo will never find the moon until the three
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