he engaged in a
sparring match with a formidable opponent. “You wanna try again? Tell me
something I’ll believe this time, and Victoria, I’m warning you, I don’t take
too kindly to liars.”
She pushed past him, trying to put some
distance between them, but his hand shot out and grabbed her wrist before she
could escape. “Don’t touch me!” she screamed.
She knew she was projecting her fear and helplessness
on the wrong target, but she couldn’t seem to help herself. It came bubbling up
from out of nowhere. She was usually able to keep all of those negative
feelings safely tucked away, but being manhandled by first one, then another,
strong man seemed to bring her frustration to the surface.
“Don’t ever put your hands on me again!”
Jay released her wrist and stepped back,
holding his hands out in front of him. “I’m sorry, relax.” He looked at her
like he would a wounded puppy that might strike out and sink his sharp little
teeth into tender flesh at the slightest provocation.
She was mortified when she felt the hot
burn of tears slide down her cheeks. She didn’t cry, ever. In her mind, tears
were a sign of weakness. Not to mention a waste of time. How many nights had
she cried herself to sleep, wishing her parents would come back for her, and it
hadn’t done a damn bit of good. By the time she’d faced her next big obstacle,
the fight for her life, she was all cried out. “I’m sorry, I just need a minute.”
She turned her back to him and swiped away the tears, but as quickly as she was
able to wipe them away, they came back.
Jay moved in closer, and she could feel the
brush of cotton against her bare shoulders. “You can talk to me, Vic. Whatever
it is, you can tell me.”
Victoria would have given anything to be
able to lean back into the protective circle of his strong arms, but she didn’t
have the right to lean on him or anyone else. She was alone in this world, which
meant she had to fight her own battles. She’d learned to live with that fact a
long time ago. “I’m fine. Please…”
Jay reached out and pulled her back against
his chest, cupping her shoulders in his big hands. “Everyone needs someone to
lean on sometimes, sweetheart.”
She closed her eyes and tried to find the
strength to fight him, but she couldn’t. “You’re wrong. I don’t need anyone.
I’ve never needed anyone.” He slid his arms around her waist and it felt so
good, too good.
“What about your family? Where are they?”
Victoria knew she wouldn’t have told him
the truth had she not been feeling so vulnerable, but he’d caught her at a weak
moment, when her defenses were down. “I don’t have any family.”
He pressed his lips against her shoulder.
“Really? You have no one?”
She closed her eyes against the sharp stab
of pain she thought had long since died. She didn’t think she was still capable
of missing the parents who’d abandoned her, but sometimes life would throw her
a curve, like today, and she’d find herself wishing she had a mom to dry her
tears. “Nope…” She cleared her throat and tried to sound braver than she felt
when she said, “Just me, myself, and I. Always has been, always will be.”
He rubbed his calloused hand up and down
her arm, making her shiver. “Did they die in an accident?”
It would have been easier to lie, but she
wasn’t a coward. “No, they abandoned me.” She brushed away the tears that
refused to stop falling. “I don’t know my old man’s story, but my mother left me
at the front desk of a homeless shelter, said she’d be right back…” She
swallowed the hard ball of emotion clogging her throat. “She never came back.
No one ever heard from her again.”
“Oh God,” he whispered, pressing his lips
to her shoulder. “I’m so sorry. How old were you when she left?”
She shrugged, trying to pretend it wasn’t
ripping her guts out to share memories that were usually buried so deep they
never saw the light of day.
sparring match with a formidable opponent. “You wanna try again? Tell me
something I’ll believe this time, and Victoria, I’m warning you, I don’t take
too kindly to liars.”
She pushed past him, trying to put some
distance between them, but his hand shot out and grabbed her wrist before she
could escape. “Don’t touch me!” she screamed.
She knew she was projecting her fear and helplessness
on the wrong target, but she couldn’t seem to help herself. It came bubbling up
from out of nowhere. She was usually able to keep all of those negative
feelings safely tucked away, but being manhandled by first one, then another,
strong man seemed to bring her frustration to the surface.
“Don’t ever put your hands on me again!”
Jay released her wrist and stepped back,
holding his hands out in front of him. “I’m sorry, relax.” He looked at her
like he would a wounded puppy that might strike out and sink his sharp little
teeth into tender flesh at the slightest provocation.
She was mortified when she felt the hot
burn of tears slide down her cheeks. She didn’t cry, ever. In her mind, tears
were a sign of weakness. Not to mention a waste of time. How many nights had
she cried herself to sleep, wishing her parents would come back for her, and it
hadn’t done a damn bit of good. By the time she’d faced her next big obstacle,
the fight for her life, she was all cried out. “I’m sorry, I just need a minute.”
She turned her back to him and swiped away the tears, but as quickly as she was
able to wipe them away, they came back.
Jay moved in closer, and she could feel the
brush of cotton against her bare shoulders. “You can talk to me, Vic. Whatever
it is, you can tell me.”
Victoria would have given anything to be
able to lean back into the protective circle of his strong arms, but she didn’t
have the right to lean on him or anyone else. She was alone in this world, which
meant she had to fight her own battles. She’d learned to live with that fact a
long time ago. “I’m fine. Please…”
Jay reached out and pulled her back against
his chest, cupping her shoulders in his big hands. “Everyone needs someone to
lean on sometimes, sweetheart.”
She closed her eyes and tried to find the
strength to fight him, but she couldn’t. “You’re wrong. I don’t need anyone.
I’ve never needed anyone.” He slid his arms around her waist and it felt so
good, too good.
“What about your family? Where are they?”
Victoria knew she wouldn’t have told him
the truth had she not been feeling so vulnerable, but he’d caught her at a weak
moment, when her defenses were down. “I don’t have any family.”
He pressed his lips against her shoulder.
“Really? You have no one?”
She closed her eyes against the sharp stab
of pain she thought had long since died. She didn’t think she was still capable
of missing the parents who’d abandoned her, but sometimes life would throw her
a curve, like today, and she’d find herself wishing she had a mom to dry her
tears. “Nope…” She cleared her throat and tried to sound braver than she felt
when she said, “Just me, myself, and I. Always has been, always will be.”
He rubbed his calloused hand up and down
her arm, making her shiver. “Did they die in an accident?”
It would have been easier to lie, but she
wasn’t a coward. “No, they abandoned me.” She brushed away the tears that
refused to stop falling. “I don’t know my old man’s story, but my mother left me
at the front desk of a homeless shelter, said she’d be right back…” She
swallowed the hard ball of emotion clogging her throat. “She never came back.
No one ever heard from her again.”
“Oh God,” he whispered, pressing his lips
to her shoulder. “I’m so sorry. How old were you when she left?”
She shrugged, trying to pretend it wasn’t
ripping her guts out to share memories that were usually buried so deep they
never saw the light of day.
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