rebellious streak.
That smile grows. “I have my ways.”
So she’s not going to tell me and play the mystery card instead.
And just like that, I want her even more.
Dear Diary,
(July 3 rd , 11:49 p.m.) I can’t even begin to describe what happened tonight. What started out as completely awful turned into one of the most incredible nights of my life. It’s Mom’s birthday and of course, she’d been on a rampage all day. Demanding everyone treat her like a queen (like she doesn’t get enough of that treatment already) and that it was her SPECIAL DAY. She started screaming at Dad for not paying enough attention to her (which is true—he never pays attention to her anymore, not really).
Evan flat out left. Just flipped her off and walked out of the house, which of course, left her fuming. Me too. I was so jealous. I wanted to be my big brother at that very moment. Bold and defiant and doing whatever I wanted. That’s how it’s always been. Evan gets away with everything and I get away with nothing.
Right before her party, I came down the stairs and she glared at me. Started yelling when she saw what I was wearing. It’s no big deal. I’ve seen plenty of girls wear practically nothing compared to my dress. She didn’t like that it was strapless. I might’ve been pushing my limits but the dress covered me pretty well. Not a hint of cleavage and my legs were covered almost to my knees. I thought I looked nice.
I don’t think Mom liked seeing me look cute. I’m not saying I think I’m beautiful or whatever, but Daddy said when he saw me that I looked pretty and that made her mad. She wanted all eyes on her.
Not me.
She called me a whore and that made me start to cry. She said only whores wore red. Daddy shushed her, grabbed her arms and asked her how much did she have to drink before he turned to glare at me, the message in his eyes all too clear.
I was nothing but trouble. He wanted me gone.
So I left. Locked myself out of my room, hid the little key on top of the door frame and left the house through the back door where no one noticed me. All they cared about was her stupid party anyway so what does it matter, where Rev is?
I ran toward the woods. I always went to the woods by the house when I was upset. I cried there a lot. I would read there sometimes too. It smelled good, all the pine trees and fresh air, the salty scent of the ocean lingering. Always lingering.
There’s a clearing in the middle of the pines with an old fallen tree I like to sit on and cry like a stupid baby. But it was fine if no one caught me, you know? I could ball my eyes out and no one was the wiser except the birds and the bugs and maybe a stray squirrel or deer.
But he followed me. I don’t know why. I didn’t notice him, as unbelievable as that sounds. He breathes and I usually sit up and take notice. Not this time though. He followed me down the path, through the trees and found me at the clearing.
Nicholas Fairfield.
I was so angry at Mom and what she said to me. How she treated me. I was sort of hysterical when Nick found me and I told him to go away. Can you imagine? Why would I tell him to go away? I flipped out in front of him. Just completely lost it and tried to take off my dress (!!!) because I hated it. I wanted to get myself something beautiful and Evan helped me and all it did was cause problems. So I tried to take it off like a crazy person. I’m pretty sure I flashed my underwear at him.
So embarrassing. I’ve never lost it like that in front of anyone, especially a boy.
He calmed me down though. Invited me to leave with him so I did. He took me to the Snack Shack down by the ocean and bought me a burger and fries. It smelled so good that I ate practically all of it because Mom never allows me to eat food like that.
It was delicious. Being with Nick, talking to him, all of it was delicious. Wonderful. He smiled at me. Touched my hand with his. His hand is big and kind of rough and his fingers are so
That smile grows. “I have my ways.”
So she’s not going to tell me and play the mystery card instead.
And just like that, I want her even more.
Dear Diary,
(July 3 rd , 11:49 p.m.) I can’t even begin to describe what happened tonight. What started out as completely awful turned into one of the most incredible nights of my life. It’s Mom’s birthday and of course, she’d been on a rampage all day. Demanding everyone treat her like a queen (like she doesn’t get enough of that treatment already) and that it was her SPECIAL DAY. She started screaming at Dad for not paying enough attention to her (which is true—he never pays attention to her anymore, not really).
Evan flat out left. Just flipped her off and walked out of the house, which of course, left her fuming. Me too. I was so jealous. I wanted to be my big brother at that very moment. Bold and defiant and doing whatever I wanted. That’s how it’s always been. Evan gets away with everything and I get away with nothing.
Right before her party, I came down the stairs and she glared at me. Started yelling when she saw what I was wearing. It’s no big deal. I’ve seen plenty of girls wear practically nothing compared to my dress. She didn’t like that it was strapless. I might’ve been pushing my limits but the dress covered me pretty well. Not a hint of cleavage and my legs were covered almost to my knees. I thought I looked nice.
I don’t think Mom liked seeing me look cute. I’m not saying I think I’m beautiful or whatever, but Daddy said when he saw me that I looked pretty and that made her mad. She wanted all eyes on her.
Not me.
She called me a whore and that made me start to cry. She said only whores wore red. Daddy shushed her, grabbed her arms and asked her how much did she have to drink before he turned to glare at me, the message in his eyes all too clear.
I was nothing but trouble. He wanted me gone.
So I left. Locked myself out of my room, hid the little key on top of the door frame and left the house through the back door where no one noticed me. All they cared about was her stupid party anyway so what does it matter, where Rev is?
I ran toward the woods. I always went to the woods by the house when I was upset. I cried there a lot. I would read there sometimes too. It smelled good, all the pine trees and fresh air, the salty scent of the ocean lingering. Always lingering.
There’s a clearing in the middle of the pines with an old fallen tree I like to sit on and cry like a stupid baby. But it was fine if no one caught me, you know? I could ball my eyes out and no one was the wiser except the birds and the bugs and maybe a stray squirrel or deer.
But he followed me. I don’t know why. I didn’t notice him, as unbelievable as that sounds. He breathes and I usually sit up and take notice. Not this time though. He followed me down the path, through the trees and found me at the clearing.
Nicholas Fairfield.
I was so angry at Mom and what she said to me. How she treated me. I was sort of hysterical when Nick found me and I told him to go away. Can you imagine? Why would I tell him to go away? I flipped out in front of him. Just completely lost it and tried to take off my dress (!!!) because I hated it. I wanted to get myself something beautiful and Evan helped me and all it did was cause problems. So I tried to take it off like a crazy person. I’m pretty sure I flashed my underwear at him.
So embarrassing. I’ve never lost it like that in front of anyone, especially a boy.
He calmed me down though. Invited me to leave with him so I did. He took me to the Snack Shack down by the ocean and bought me a burger and fries. It smelled so good that I ate practically all of it because Mom never allows me to eat food like that.
It was delicious. Being with Nick, talking to him, all of it was delicious. Wonderful. He smiled at me. Touched my hand with his. His hand is big and kind of rough and his fingers are so
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