it.”
“Um-hmm.” Melanie nodded, brushing her hair away from her face. “Testing yourself, aren’t you? If you can do this, stay in the house with him, avoid the ex-sex trap, it means you’re really over him.”
“Oh, please. Ex-sex?” Barbara forced a laugh, torn between irritation and the images Melanie’s words invoked. Lovemaking with Del, the incredible warmth of his skin against hers, his hands touching her in wonderful ways, the guttural groan of satisfaction rumbling from his throat with his climax.
She fanned her hot face, glad she had the exertion as an excuse. “Believe me, I’m getting over him.”
“Really?” Melanie regarded her with an uplifted brow. “I wonder. I only have one question for you. What if you find out you’re not?”
She wouldn’t. All she had to do was keep reminding herself how getting wrapped up in Del Calvert had ruined everything—her future, the dreams, the plans—the first time around. That should keep her from making the same mistake twice.
* * *
The late dusk of summer lay heavy on the neighborhood when Barbara turned up her driveway. The front porch light glowed a welcome, and open curtains offered a view inside her living room. She paused on the pathway, a weird mixture of affection, pain and desire gripping her. The television was on and Anna lay on the floor, swinging her feet in the air while she watched. On the couch, Lyssa munched from a bag of popcorn, her shoulder snuggled into Del’s side. He read the local paper, but lowered it to grin at some comment made by one of the girls.
She closed her eyes. Despite her determination not to be drawn in, she missed him, missed them , missed their family. The next two nights promised to be the longest of her life, longer even than the near forty-eight hours she’d spent in uneven labor with Blake.
Another memory to torture her. The small delivery room at the local hospital, the weird burning pain that definitely did not feel like strong menstrual cramps, as a couple of the older ladies at church had told her to expect. The worry that maybe keeping the baby was the wrong thing to do. Overwhelming fear, of the pain and the unknown, of how her life would change again.
And Del, never leaving her, letting her dig her nails into his hand until he would bear bruises for weeks after. His soothing voice, offering encouragement and promises, and those dark eyes she loved, soft with adoration and later shining with a nervous pride when he held Blake with equally nervous hands for the first time.
Where had he gone, that just-out-of-boyhood man who’d loved her with such ferocity and steadiness?
He grew up and decided you weren’t what he wanted anymore.
He’d ended up wanting the choices they’d been denied so early on.
She opened her eyes. In the living room, Anna and Lyssa tussled over the popcorn bag like playful puppies with a rope, and Del laughed, reaching to rescue the sack. “Stop being stupid. It’s over. You’re not that same girl anymore either. You can do this. You have to.”
Straightening her posture, she marched to the front door and let herself in. Lyssa scrambled to her feet, a bright smile on her lips. “Mama! Guess what? I got all of my math problems right. Daddy checked them.”
“That’s great, sweetie. Anna Nana, what are you watching?” Aware of Del’s gaze on her, she leaned down to pick up a throw pillow from the floor and tossed it on the armchair by the window.
“A documentary on the Lusitania .” Anna grimaced as if it was more distasteful than taking out the trash. “We get extra credit in history if we watch it and write a summary.”
Barbara righted her teacher bag, on its side by the armchair. “Any calls while I was out?”
“A hang-up,” Del said, his voice quiet. He folded the newspaper and she averted her eyes from the play of muscles in his arms. “The caller ID shows a blocked number.”
She sighed, rolling her eyes. “Kids. The number is on my syllabus
“Um-hmm.” Melanie nodded, brushing her hair away from her face. “Testing yourself, aren’t you? If you can do this, stay in the house with him, avoid the ex-sex trap, it means you’re really over him.”
“Oh, please. Ex-sex?” Barbara forced a laugh, torn between irritation and the images Melanie’s words invoked. Lovemaking with Del, the incredible warmth of his skin against hers, his hands touching her in wonderful ways, the guttural groan of satisfaction rumbling from his throat with his climax.
She fanned her hot face, glad she had the exertion as an excuse. “Believe me, I’m getting over him.”
“Really?” Melanie regarded her with an uplifted brow. “I wonder. I only have one question for you. What if you find out you’re not?”
She wouldn’t. All she had to do was keep reminding herself how getting wrapped up in Del Calvert had ruined everything—her future, the dreams, the plans—the first time around. That should keep her from making the same mistake twice.
* * *
The late dusk of summer lay heavy on the neighborhood when Barbara turned up her driveway. The front porch light glowed a welcome, and open curtains offered a view inside her living room. She paused on the pathway, a weird mixture of affection, pain and desire gripping her. The television was on and Anna lay on the floor, swinging her feet in the air while she watched. On the couch, Lyssa munched from a bag of popcorn, her shoulder snuggled into Del’s side. He read the local paper, but lowered it to grin at some comment made by one of the girls.
She closed her eyes. Despite her determination not to be drawn in, she missed him, missed them , missed their family. The next two nights promised to be the longest of her life, longer even than the near forty-eight hours she’d spent in uneven labor with Blake.
Another memory to torture her. The small delivery room at the local hospital, the weird burning pain that definitely did not feel like strong menstrual cramps, as a couple of the older ladies at church had told her to expect. The worry that maybe keeping the baby was the wrong thing to do. Overwhelming fear, of the pain and the unknown, of how her life would change again.
And Del, never leaving her, letting her dig her nails into his hand until he would bear bruises for weeks after. His soothing voice, offering encouragement and promises, and those dark eyes she loved, soft with adoration and later shining with a nervous pride when he held Blake with equally nervous hands for the first time.
Where had he gone, that just-out-of-boyhood man who’d loved her with such ferocity and steadiness?
He grew up and decided you weren’t what he wanted anymore.
He’d ended up wanting the choices they’d been denied so early on.
She opened her eyes. In the living room, Anna and Lyssa tussled over the popcorn bag like playful puppies with a rope, and Del laughed, reaching to rescue the sack. “Stop being stupid. It’s over. You’re not that same girl anymore either. You can do this. You have to.”
Straightening her posture, she marched to the front door and let herself in. Lyssa scrambled to her feet, a bright smile on her lips. “Mama! Guess what? I got all of my math problems right. Daddy checked them.”
“That’s great, sweetie. Anna Nana, what are you watching?” Aware of Del’s gaze on her, she leaned down to pick up a throw pillow from the floor and tossed it on the armchair by the window.
“A documentary on the Lusitania .” Anna grimaced as if it was more distasteful than taking out the trash. “We get extra credit in history if we watch it and write a summary.”
Barbara righted her teacher bag, on its side by the armchair. “Any calls while I was out?”
“A hang-up,” Del said, his voice quiet. He folded the newspaper and she averted her eyes from the play of muscles in his arms. “The caller ID shows a blocked number.”
She sighed, rolling her eyes. “Kids. The number is on my syllabus
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