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Authors: Maya Banks
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once so they don’t linger under such a misapprehension any longer.”
She shook her head even more vehemently, and felt the frayed threads holding her together start to break. Perhaps she was finally going mad.
“ ’Tis better that they think me dead. If they knew all …”
She broke off, shaking her head and turning away, no longer able to look Bowen in the eye.
She dare not admit everything to him. She didn’t think she could bear to see the pity and disgust in his eyes. Nor could she bear to hear the cold recitation of the facts from her own lips.
“ ’Tis better this way,” she said again. “I would never have them know the whole of it. My shame is too great for them to bear. I would forever be a burden to them. There would be naught for me to do save return homeand live in seclusion under my father’s care for the rest of my days, and for my family to bear my shame for all time.”
Bowen’s lips tightened. She knew that he likely thought her daft. Or extremely selfish. ’Twas not her pride preventing her from sending word to her family. She had none left. The knowledge of what had happened to Genevieve would destroy her mother and the rest of her kin. She could never live with herself for causing them so much pain. She would die before bringing dishonor to her father’s name.
“I have already brought dishonor to my clan,” she said in a quiet, pained voice. “I despise myself for what I approached you with earlier. Only a person without hope or honor would do such a thing, and ’tis clear I have neither. How could my clan ever welcome me back with open arms when I’ve done so much to bring shame to the people who loved me most?”
Bowen stepped forward, his hand pushing away the hood of her cloak to cup her scarred cheek. The action startled her so much that she stood frozen, staring at him wide-eyed.
He caressed the mangled flesh, her distress increasing with every second his fingers touched her with such gentleness.
“I propose that we both forget about what occurred in your chamber earlier. I acted reprehensibly.”
She shook her head, trying to free her cheek from his hand, but he palmed her jaw, holding his hand firmly in position.
“You reacted in disgust, as you should have. Who could blame you? What does a woman like me have to offer a man such as you? You’re beautiful,” she blurted out. “You could have any lass you crooked your finger at.”
Aye, ’twas true. The man was simply divine to look at.Not a single imperfection marred his body—or at least, what she could see of it. He was so beautiful to look at that she was sure many a lass had sighed upon setting eyes on him.
“I was once fair to look upon,” she whispered. “And now I am ruined.” She touched her face just above where his fingers rested and then offered a hoarse laugh that was abrasive in the still air. “Ruined in more ways than one. No part of me has survived Ian McHugh’s possession. I’ll never be whole again.”
There was blackness in Bowen’s expression that should have frightened her. Perhaps if she had anything left to lose, she would have been more afraid. As it was, she looked at him bleakly, resignation whispering through her veins.
“ ’Tis not your dishonor you wear,” he said darkly. “ ’Tis no shame for bearing what is done to you and working to preserve your dignity.”
She laughed again, the sound harsh and abrasive. “Dignity? I have none. None was allowed me. I proved that none remains when I offered to whore myself to you.”
She closed her eyes against a fresh surge of tears, humiliation chanting an awful litany in her head.
“You can’t imagine how it feels to have no other choice or to believe that all you’re worth is what you can offer a man through your body. I used to think I’d reached my absolute lowest point, and that I couldn’t possibly debase myself any more than I already had. I was wrong. ’Tis when I willingly offered
She shook her head even more vehemently, and felt the frayed threads holding her together start to break. Perhaps she was finally going mad.
“ ’Tis better that they think me dead. If they knew all …”
She broke off, shaking her head and turning away, no longer able to look Bowen in the eye.
She dare not admit everything to him. She didn’t think she could bear to see the pity and disgust in his eyes. Nor could she bear to hear the cold recitation of the facts from her own lips.
“ ’Tis better this way,” she said again. “I would never have them know the whole of it. My shame is too great for them to bear. I would forever be a burden to them. There would be naught for me to do save return homeand live in seclusion under my father’s care for the rest of my days, and for my family to bear my shame for all time.”
Bowen’s lips tightened. She knew that he likely thought her daft. Or extremely selfish. ’Twas not her pride preventing her from sending word to her family. She had none left. The knowledge of what had happened to Genevieve would destroy her mother and the rest of her kin. She could never live with herself for causing them so much pain. She would die before bringing dishonor to her father’s name.
“I have already brought dishonor to my clan,” she said in a quiet, pained voice. “I despise myself for what I approached you with earlier. Only a person without hope or honor would do such a thing, and ’tis clear I have neither. How could my clan ever welcome me back with open arms when I’ve done so much to bring shame to the people who loved me most?”
Bowen stepped forward, his hand pushing away the hood of her cloak to cup her scarred cheek. The action startled her so much that she stood frozen, staring at him wide-eyed.
He caressed the mangled flesh, her distress increasing with every second his fingers touched her with such gentleness.
“I propose that we both forget about what occurred in your chamber earlier. I acted reprehensibly.”
She shook her head, trying to free her cheek from his hand, but he palmed her jaw, holding his hand firmly in position.
“You reacted in disgust, as you should have. Who could blame you? What does a woman like me have to offer a man such as you? You’re beautiful,” she blurted out. “You could have any lass you crooked your finger at.”
Aye, ’twas true. The man was simply divine to look at.Not a single imperfection marred his body—or at least, what she could see of it. He was so beautiful to look at that she was sure many a lass had sighed upon setting eyes on him.
“I was once fair to look upon,” she whispered. “And now I am ruined.” She touched her face just above where his fingers rested and then offered a hoarse laugh that was abrasive in the still air. “Ruined in more ways than one. No part of me has survived Ian McHugh’s possession. I’ll never be whole again.”
There was blackness in Bowen’s expression that should have frightened her. Perhaps if she had anything left to lose, she would have been more afraid. As it was, she looked at him bleakly, resignation whispering through her veins.
“ ’Tis not your dishonor you wear,” he said darkly. “ ’Tis no shame for bearing what is done to you and working to preserve your dignity.”
She laughed again, the sound harsh and abrasive. “Dignity? I have none. None was allowed me. I proved that none remains when I offered to whore myself to you.”
She closed her eyes against a fresh surge of tears, humiliation chanting an awful litany in her head.
“You can’t imagine how it feels to have no other choice or to believe that all you’re worth is what you can offer a man through your body. I used to think I’d reached my absolute lowest point, and that I couldn’t possibly debase myself any more than I already had. I was wrong. ’Tis when I willingly offered
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