lasagne.’ Served with a flourish.
Brodie waited till the waiter retreated again. ‘Go on.’
She’d had second thoughts. The army had been Brodie’s chosen home. She had to respect his choice, not attack it. ‘The lasagne is good. Hot, but good.’
‘Jessica, it’s all right to speak your mind. Definitely with me. Spit it out.’
So elegant.
She grounded her fork. ‘Okay. I read that when it counts, soldiers don’t fight for their country or because it’s the job they trained for or anything like that. They fight for one another.’
He nodded and kept eating.
‘Which means it’s in the army’s best interest to foster a really strong bond between you. They encourage an us-and-them mentality. I think maybe that spills over, so the them isn’t just the enemy, it’s everyone not in the unit. The army wants first loyalty and sometimes I think it becomes a soldier’s only loyalty.’
‘You’ve thought about this.’ He’d stopped eating to study her. ‘Canberra has a lot of officers stationed there. Did you date one?’
‘No. That wasn’t old bitterness at a guy’s other loyalties. I knew you’d get defensive and go on the attack. I should have stayed quiet.’
‘I wasn’t attacking you. I was jealous.’ He smiled ruefully. ‘You’d be wasted on an officer.’
‘Um, why?’ The unexpected compliment thrilled her.
‘They’re ambitious. They set goals and attack till they achieve them. Whereas you look around and would rather enjoy life in the here and now — and maybe in the Hittite past.’
‘You think I enjoy life?’ She was stunned.
‘In your quiet way. I bet you could tell me what herbs are in this lasagne.’
‘Basil, oregano and parsley. Cinnamon, too, I suspect. You can just taste the warm buzz. Chili.’
He grinned widely. ‘See? You take the time to notice things.’
‘Yes, but…’ The idea of herself as a connoisseur was revolutionary. It fitted, though. She was never dissatisfied as so many of her step-mother’s social circle and her own old school friends were. She’d always put it down to be boring, but Brodie’s approval made her reconsider.
Her mum had enjoyed life exuberantly. Maybe that same enjoyment bubbled in Jessica, but she’d contained it. The thought that she had that potential for joy was exhilarating and frightening, as if she were contemplating something wicked — just how buttoned-down was she?
‘We weren’t talking about me,’ she said sternly.
‘No, the army was in the hot seat.’ He sighed. ‘To some extent, you’re right. Loyalty in the services is vital. In battle there’s no time to think about your actions. You have to trust your orders, and it helps if you trust the man — the officer — giving them.’
‘Is that why you left? You no longer trusted the hierarchy?’
‘Yes. No. It got confusing. My gut said I no longer belonged.’
‘Because you’d stood up for Sonia?’
‘They turned on me, Jessica. I get along with people. I never had a problem with commissioned officers. Some are idiots. Some are young and learning. It’s a sergeant’s job to deal.’
She nodded encouragement. The hard way his words were coming, she thought maybe he’d never explained it to anyone. Being a tough guy, he probably hadn’t even put it into words for himself. Emotions were messy.
‘The lieutenant who groped Sonia was third-generation army. A couple of his uncles are still serving. They’re respected in the forces. He has a handful of cousins, all guys, scattered through the ranks. He’s tied in tight.’
‘So when Sonia reported him for assault, she was taking on half the army?’
‘Yeah.’
‘Did she know?’
‘I doubt it. She just saw an idiot, and reported him. Then the jerks crawled out.’
The ugly words. ‘Sonia told me about the things they called her. But others were there for her, believed her. I’m not trashing the army.’
‘There are good people in it. Most of them. Enough that part of
Brodie waited till the waiter retreated again. ‘Go on.’
She’d had second thoughts. The army had been Brodie’s chosen home. She had to respect his choice, not attack it. ‘The lasagne is good. Hot, but good.’
‘Jessica, it’s all right to speak your mind. Definitely with me. Spit it out.’
So elegant.
She grounded her fork. ‘Okay. I read that when it counts, soldiers don’t fight for their country or because it’s the job they trained for or anything like that. They fight for one another.’
He nodded and kept eating.
‘Which means it’s in the army’s best interest to foster a really strong bond between you. They encourage an us-and-them mentality. I think maybe that spills over, so the them isn’t just the enemy, it’s everyone not in the unit. The army wants first loyalty and sometimes I think it becomes a soldier’s only loyalty.’
‘You’ve thought about this.’ He’d stopped eating to study her. ‘Canberra has a lot of officers stationed there. Did you date one?’
‘No. That wasn’t old bitterness at a guy’s other loyalties. I knew you’d get defensive and go on the attack. I should have stayed quiet.’
‘I wasn’t attacking you. I was jealous.’ He smiled ruefully. ‘You’d be wasted on an officer.’
‘Um, why?’ The unexpected compliment thrilled her.
‘They’re ambitious. They set goals and attack till they achieve them. Whereas you look around and would rather enjoy life in the here and now — and maybe in the Hittite past.’
‘You think I enjoy life?’ She was stunned.
‘In your quiet way. I bet you could tell me what herbs are in this lasagne.’
‘Basil, oregano and parsley. Cinnamon, too, I suspect. You can just taste the warm buzz. Chili.’
He grinned widely. ‘See? You take the time to notice things.’
‘Yes, but…’ The idea of herself as a connoisseur was revolutionary. It fitted, though. She was never dissatisfied as so many of her step-mother’s social circle and her own old school friends were. She’d always put it down to be boring, but Brodie’s approval made her reconsider.
Her mum had enjoyed life exuberantly. Maybe that same enjoyment bubbled in Jessica, but she’d contained it. The thought that she had that potential for joy was exhilarating and frightening, as if she were contemplating something wicked — just how buttoned-down was she?
‘We weren’t talking about me,’ she said sternly.
‘No, the army was in the hot seat.’ He sighed. ‘To some extent, you’re right. Loyalty in the services is vital. In battle there’s no time to think about your actions. You have to trust your orders, and it helps if you trust the man — the officer — giving them.’
‘Is that why you left? You no longer trusted the hierarchy?’
‘Yes. No. It got confusing. My gut said I no longer belonged.’
‘Because you’d stood up for Sonia?’
‘They turned on me, Jessica. I get along with people. I never had a problem with commissioned officers. Some are idiots. Some are young and learning. It’s a sergeant’s job to deal.’
She nodded encouragement. The hard way his words were coming, she thought maybe he’d never explained it to anyone. Being a tough guy, he probably hadn’t even put it into words for himself. Emotions were messy.
‘The lieutenant who groped Sonia was third-generation army. A couple of his uncles are still serving. They’re respected in the forces. He has a handful of cousins, all guys, scattered through the ranks. He’s tied in tight.’
‘So when Sonia reported him for assault, she was taking on half the army?’
‘Yeah.’
‘Did she know?’
‘I doubt it. She just saw an idiot, and reported him. Then the jerks crawled out.’
The ugly words. ‘Sonia told me about the things they called her. But others were there for her, believed her. I’m not trashing the army.’
‘There are good people in it. Most of them. Enough that part of
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