be interested in me. Before I left California, he said he would have liked to have asked me out if we hadn’t been working together . ” I shook my head and closed my eyes , trying to decide how to explain what had happened. When I opened them, Nicholas was looking at me sympathetically .
“ You don’t have to share this if you don’t want to, ” he said one last time.
“ It’s okay. ” I sighed. “ A colleague and I were supposed to exhibit in Las Vegas at a big science tradeshow . S he got sick at the last minute , and JT ended up meeting me there . Everything was fine with him, and n othing happened between us ,” I said to keep from confusing him later .
“ On our first evening there, ” I continued, “ w e went to a cocktail party and out to dinner. He ’d always been very private , but , after a few drinks, he started to relax and open up to me . It was the first time he ’d ever really discussed his personal life with me . By the end of the evening, something in him had shifted. W e returned to the hotel and rode the elevator to our floor. When we got to his room, I had a really strong sense that he wanted me to go inside with him. He watched me as I walked down the hall and into my room. Then, I took a shower and went to bed. When I went to sleep at night, I dreamed of you.”
Our burgers sa t cold on the table , and neither of us was eating . “What was the dream ?” he asked.
Somehow, it felt important that I share this story with him, but I didn’t know why. “ In m y dream , I walked back down the hall to JT’s room. Then , we started … t o get a little intimate. When h e took his shirt off , I told him that he was beautiful . At that point, it essentially ruined it for him. He said he couldn’t be with me. I n my dream, I realized that he wanted sex without a real relationship .”
Nicholas ’s brows furrowed, and I was sure that he was wondering what he had to do with any of this.
I shook my head. “Maybe I shouldn’t be telling you any of this.”
“ Sophia, I realize that this is very personal for you , but it might help me if I can understand what happened.”
“ Okay,” I continued. “ I n my dream, I buttoned up my blouse, put my shoes back on, and left JT’s room. When I stepped into the hallway, you were walking by. You looked at me and realized what had just happened. You put your hands on my arms and told me that I didn’t need the kind of relationship that I’d almost had with JT. Then, y ou asked me to come with you , and we walked back to my room . Y ou told me that you kn e w me better than I could ever imagine. You said that I wouldn’t be truly happy unless I was in a relationship where I was in love and felt loved. Then, you kissed me , and we… . ”
U ncomfortable , Nicholas looked away .
“I’m sorry. I do n’t mean to freak you out. It’s just that the dream wa s really important for what came next.”
He glanced back up at me. “What was that?”
“ It helped me to realize that relationships could be much more than I’d ever experienced . I didn’t know if I would meet you or just someone like you. B efore I got into another relationship, though, I knew that I need ed to be with someone who felt like you had in my dream s . ”
“What do you mean?” he asked.
“All three dreams shared one feature – I felt more loved than I ever had . I realized that I needed to have that in any relationship that I might eventually enter into. ”
He nodded and seemed to understand .
“ When I woke up, I had this overwhelming sense of loneliness. ” I felt a little embarrassed for being this forward with him, but I was nearly done. “ I promised to wait for t he man in my dream s if I knew that he was real . ” I laughed a little. “ Then, I realized that if I expected to find what I felt was the perfect man then I had to be come a perfect woman. Believe me, ” I smiled, “ I have a long way to go. I know I can’t be perfect , but I've
“ You don’t have to share this if you don’t want to, ” he said one last time.
“ It’s okay. ” I sighed. “ A colleague and I were supposed to exhibit in Las Vegas at a big science tradeshow . S he got sick at the last minute , and JT ended up meeting me there . Everything was fine with him, and n othing happened between us ,” I said to keep from confusing him later .
“ On our first evening there, ” I continued, “ w e went to a cocktail party and out to dinner. He ’d always been very private , but , after a few drinks, he started to relax and open up to me . It was the first time he ’d ever really discussed his personal life with me . By the end of the evening, something in him had shifted. W e returned to the hotel and rode the elevator to our floor. When we got to his room, I had a really strong sense that he wanted me to go inside with him. He watched me as I walked down the hall and into my room. Then, I took a shower and went to bed. When I went to sleep at night, I dreamed of you.”
Our burgers sa t cold on the table , and neither of us was eating . “What was the dream ?” he asked.
Somehow, it felt important that I share this story with him, but I didn’t know why. “ In m y dream , I walked back down the hall to JT’s room. Then , we started … t o get a little intimate. When h e took his shirt off , I told him that he was beautiful . At that point, it essentially ruined it for him. He said he couldn’t be with me. I n my dream, I realized that he wanted sex without a real relationship .”
Nicholas ’s brows furrowed, and I was sure that he was wondering what he had to do with any of this.
I shook my head. “Maybe I shouldn’t be telling you any of this.”
“ Sophia, I realize that this is very personal for you , but it might help me if I can understand what happened.”
“ Okay,” I continued. “ I n my dream, I buttoned up my blouse, put my shoes back on, and left JT’s room. When I stepped into the hallway, you were walking by. You looked at me and realized what had just happened. You put your hands on my arms and told me that I didn’t need the kind of relationship that I’d almost had with JT. Then, y ou asked me to come with you , and we walked back to my room . Y ou told me that you kn e w me better than I could ever imagine. You said that I wouldn’t be truly happy unless I was in a relationship where I was in love and felt loved. Then, you kissed me , and we… . ”
U ncomfortable , Nicholas looked away .
“I’m sorry. I do n’t mean to freak you out. It’s just that the dream wa s really important for what came next.”
He glanced back up at me. “What was that?”
“ It helped me to realize that relationships could be much more than I’d ever experienced . I didn’t know if I would meet you or just someone like you. B efore I got into another relationship, though, I knew that I need ed to be with someone who felt like you had in my dream s . ”
“What do you mean?” he asked.
“All three dreams shared one feature – I felt more loved than I ever had . I realized that I needed to have that in any relationship that I might eventually enter into. ”
He nodded and seemed to understand .
“ When I woke up, I had this overwhelming sense of loneliness. ” I felt a little embarrassed for being this forward with him, but I was nearly done. “ I promised to wait for t he man in my dream s if I knew that he was real . ” I laughed a little. “ Then, I realized that if I expected to find what I felt was the perfect man then I had to be come a perfect woman. Believe me, ” I smiled, “ I have a long way to go. I know I can’t be perfect , but I've
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