about him.”
“I am too, Mrs. Gunderson. Can you and Mr. Sprinkles come in and talk to one of our doctors?”
“Oh, I don’t know about that…”
“I think it would help Mr. Sprinkles sleep better and maybe start eating again. I’m so worried about him.”
“You’re such a sweet girl. I’ll talk to them just for you.”
I let my shoulders relax. Mrs. Gunderson has been calling for months now and she’s been slowly getting more and more depressed. It took a couple of calls to figure out that her cat, Mr. Sprinkles, was really a way for her to talk about herself. I quickly make an appointment for her, before she changes her mind. I make a note to the therapist that she’ll bring her cat and the reason why, along with a brief history of her calls.
When I’m done, my light is blinking again. No rest for the wicked as they say.
“Suicide Prevention, this is Lilith, how may I help you?”
“Lilith, I’ve been trying to kill myself but nothing seems to work.” A lovely voice and his English accent makes me flash to all things British and my fan girl comes out. Although I’m supposed to be helping him, I get a tingle through my nerve endings as I listen to him talk. Wait a second, what did he say?
“Excuse me?”
“I’ve tried jumping in front of a BART train, jumping off a building, and electrocution.”
“You what!?” Wait a second, I gotta be hearing him wrong.
“Are you having trouble hearing me? I’m on the bridge. My reception is usually good but…”
“No, no I hear you fine.” I’m just not understanding you.
“Good, as I was saying…”
“Wait!” I try to catch up with the conversation. “Why are you trying to kill yourself?”
“I’m tired, Lilith. I’m just tired.” His voice is heavy with weariness.
“Maybe you just need to rest? Some peace, not an ending.”
“I’m weary of the predictability of this life. There’s nothing to hold me here. When you’ve seen as much as I have… it’s painful to see things repeated over and over again.”
I wonder if he’s a vet? Some of our vets talk this way. I shift in my chair and lean into the desk. “Do you have anyone to share with?” I say. There’s a dull ache in my stomach. I know what he means, but I also know I would not be helping him to admit this.
Night after night, no one to share my life with. I have friends but no life mate, only an eternity of endless, black nights with no fire. An occasional spark. Vampires don’t call help lines. I do have friends, though, and they carry me through.
“No, there’s no one. No one at all,” he says.
“Well, you can start with me, you have me. What’s your name?”
“You can call me Aidan.”
“Aidan, what’s got you so tired of life? Are you a veteran? Is it your job?”
“I’m not a veteran of your wars and I’m between jobs right now and not actively seeking employment,” he says, dryly.
I sense an opening. I tug my hair, a nervous habit, and go for it.
“I’ve felt like you. The days running together, so I got a job. What type of work have you done?”
“Slavery in its basest form.”
“I hate my boss too, but it couldn’t have been that bad.”
“Oh, I assure you, dear Lilith, it was shackles and chains all the way.”
So much for my window of insight.
“What about friends? Have you never had a friend who’s made a difference in your life?”
“I’m a loner, Lilith. I like to observe humans, not befriend them.”
I can empathize. Vampires tend to stick to their own kind. It’s not nice to play with your food.
“Would you consider observing one of our counselors? It might be amusing.”
He chuckles.
“Lilith, I am in the middle of the Golden Gate Bridge with the intent of jumping off. I thought I would call and get your opinion on whether this is a successful method of dying or not. I admit I have found our conversation enjoyable.”
“But… but we’re suicide prevention! We don’t give advice on how to commit
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