there’s got to be an official document in this house somewhere, unless they got rid of it.”
“I’ll try to snoop around some time after school this week when Aunt Terryn takes the girls to dance class,” I offered.
She groaned in irritation. “Freaking dance class. They’ll just be put through the wringer like the rest of us. I wish I could stop it.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“Nothing, Cam,” she exhaled. “Don’t worry about it.”
“If something’s bothering you, I do worry about it, Mar. You know that.”
“I know. It’s just the amount of pressure that these families put on girls. Look at little Julianne. She’s not even five and she’s already in dance class. Did you see the costume she wore at the recital a few weeks ago? And all the makeup that was plastered on her face? There’s this horrible expectation placed on girls to look pretty and act in a certain manner. They’ll go through it, too, Cam. And it breaks my heart to think that Meg and Jules won’t be able to do anything to stop it. They’ll get suckered into the limelight and the pageantry, not wanting to look at Aunt Terryn’s disappointed face if you say that you don’t want to compete anymore. And she’ll say that so-and-so’s daughter, your friend, loves the competitions and the pageants. So you feel guilt. Guilt at the thought of letting her down because this is what she did when she was growing up. And guilt for thinking that you’re not the perfect little girl you’re supposed to be. I just wish I could stop it. But I can’t.”
I had no idea how to respond to this. Marley was one of the smartest and most observant girls in school. She saw the spectacle of the pageants and competitions that girls begged to participate in as what they really were…a contest between the moms to gain bragging rights among their close-minded circle of friends.
“You could quit, Mar. Tell people how you really feel about it all.”
She shook her head. “If I pull out of the Jessamine Court, they’ll just replace me with someone else. My opinion won’t stop it. We’re all powerless to change anything. I’ll suffer through this last year of high school knowing that I can leave this all behind me in college and start over again…with you.”
“Mar…” I said in a cautioning tone. “We’ve talked about this. You need to go where you need to go, and I need to go where I do.”
She grabbed my hand in hers and turned to meet my eyes. “I will go where I need to go. Wherever you are and are happy is where I need to be.”
I couldn’t help but smile at her words. Marley and I had been through everything together. We had held each other’s hands through all the turmoil and dysfunction of the early years of our lives. We supported each other and laughed together as we blossomed into our teenage years. I was more than aware we had a bond that most kids my age would think was strange. I wouldn’t give this connection up for anything. Marley was my other half. She was my heart. She was my light. She was my best friend. She was my voice of reason. She was my everything. And I knew I was all those things to her, too.
“To the moon and back, Mar.”
“From the stars to the ocean, Cam.”
C HAPTER N INE
H YPOCRISY
T HIS TOWN EMBODIES HYPOCRISY . I can smell it in the air. I can feel it as the wind brushes my skin. I can taste it in the water. And I can see it when I look around at the people of my uncle’s church every Sunday. Hypocrites. “Pray to God,” they say. “And he’ll free you of your sins.” What about other peoples’ sins? And what if their sins still haunt me? What do I do about that?
I’ll tell you what you do, Marley. You go to church. You sit in the front pew with your aunt, the pastor’s wife, their two kids, and your brother. You smile. You shake hands with your fellow parishioners. You nod when they say how far you’ve come since you first stepped foot in this town, beaten, bruised, and
“I’ll try to snoop around some time after school this week when Aunt Terryn takes the girls to dance class,” I offered.
She groaned in irritation. “Freaking dance class. They’ll just be put through the wringer like the rest of us. I wish I could stop it.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“Nothing, Cam,” she exhaled. “Don’t worry about it.”
“If something’s bothering you, I do worry about it, Mar. You know that.”
“I know. It’s just the amount of pressure that these families put on girls. Look at little Julianne. She’s not even five and she’s already in dance class. Did you see the costume she wore at the recital a few weeks ago? And all the makeup that was plastered on her face? There’s this horrible expectation placed on girls to look pretty and act in a certain manner. They’ll go through it, too, Cam. And it breaks my heart to think that Meg and Jules won’t be able to do anything to stop it. They’ll get suckered into the limelight and the pageantry, not wanting to look at Aunt Terryn’s disappointed face if you say that you don’t want to compete anymore. And she’ll say that so-and-so’s daughter, your friend, loves the competitions and the pageants. So you feel guilt. Guilt at the thought of letting her down because this is what she did when she was growing up. And guilt for thinking that you’re not the perfect little girl you’re supposed to be. I just wish I could stop it. But I can’t.”
I had no idea how to respond to this. Marley was one of the smartest and most observant girls in school. She saw the spectacle of the pageants and competitions that girls begged to participate in as what they really were…a contest between the moms to gain bragging rights among their close-minded circle of friends.
“You could quit, Mar. Tell people how you really feel about it all.”
She shook her head. “If I pull out of the Jessamine Court, they’ll just replace me with someone else. My opinion won’t stop it. We’re all powerless to change anything. I’ll suffer through this last year of high school knowing that I can leave this all behind me in college and start over again…with you.”
“Mar…” I said in a cautioning tone. “We’ve talked about this. You need to go where you need to go, and I need to go where I do.”
She grabbed my hand in hers and turned to meet my eyes. “I will go where I need to go. Wherever you are and are happy is where I need to be.”
I couldn’t help but smile at her words. Marley and I had been through everything together. We had held each other’s hands through all the turmoil and dysfunction of the early years of our lives. We supported each other and laughed together as we blossomed into our teenage years. I was more than aware we had a bond that most kids my age would think was strange. I wouldn’t give this connection up for anything. Marley was my other half. She was my heart. She was my light. She was my best friend. She was my voice of reason. She was my everything. And I knew I was all those things to her, too.
“To the moon and back, Mar.”
“From the stars to the ocean, Cam.”
C HAPTER N INE
H YPOCRISY
T HIS TOWN EMBODIES HYPOCRISY . I can smell it in the air. I can feel it as the wind brushes my skin. I can taste it in the water. And I can see it when I look around at the people of my uncle’s church every Sunday. Hypocrites. “Pray to God,” they say. “And he’ll free you of your sins.” What about other peoples’ sins? And what if their sins still haunt me? What do I do about that?
I’ll tell you what you do, Marley. You go to church. You sit in the front pew with your aunt, the pastor’s wife, their two kids, and your brother. You smile. You shake hands with your fellow parishioners. You nod when they say how far you’ve come since you first stepped foot in this town, beaten, bruised, and
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