over her cell number. So far, he hadn’t given in to the desire to hear her voice. Not since that first night when he’d had to change his appointment time. But he wanted to. She hadn’t loved him then and she didn’t love him now. But she’d taken over his dreams anyway. He pressed his palm against himself, willing the erection to subside. At least when he was dreaming of her, he was not having nightmares of things he’d seen and done downrange. Which brand of torment was worse, was a tossup. Clawing his way to consciousness in a cold sweat of terror or waking with an aching woody? He got to his feet and headed for the bathroom. By the time he finally managed to empty his bladder and shake off the remnants of the dream, it was clear sleep would not return any time soon. He sat down at his desk and woke up his laptop. Might as well study up on the latest stuff they wanted him to know for the intelligence gig. But instead of opening the relevant file, he clicked on his browser and typed in Eli Tischler. Elena had mentioned that he was a tenured professor and published author. A moment later, the man’s website popped up. Eli was a good-looking guy. His longish hair was wavy with golden highlights and his pale blue eyes were striking. Easy to see what had attracted Elena in the first place. His bio made him sound even more interesting. He loved to surf—explained the sun-streaked hair. He mountain-biked and hiked and enjoyed fast cars. Just the sort of guy who would appeal to a young woman beginning the adventure of life and eager to grab it with both hands. Philip swallowed the bitter pill of jealousy. This man had known Elena intimately. He had shared her life for more than a decade. He had a daughter and everything else Elena could give him. Everything Philip had wanted for himself and had not dared to ask for. He closed the browser window and slammed the laptop shut. Then he got up and paced his small space. Violent emotions he was not used to dealing with surged in his veins. Jealously. Longing. Regret. And anger. Eli had been married to a wonderful, passionate woman, but in spite of that, he’d violated his marriage vows. He’d taken her for granted instead of treating her like she deserved. She might claim her heart wasn’t broken, but how could it not be? That kind of betrayal would hurt anyone. Philip had lost count of the men he’d sat with and comforted when they finally broke down and cried after absorbing the truth of their wives’ infidelity. He ground his teeth to keep from punching something. It was a good thing Eli lived on the west coast. Abandoning any hope of regaining the use of his right hand would have been worth it if he could have used it to smash Eli’s teeth down his throat. It began to make sense that Elena had not remarried. She probably didn’t trust any man now. If she’d waited for him, he would have treated her better. She would have been his princess. The love of his life. She could have kept her trust and her willingness to love with all her heart. But she hadn’t, and there was no way they could pick up where they’d left off fourteen years ago. The only thing left was friendship. Elena had extended the first olive branch when she suggested a cup of coffee. Surely he was man enough to respond. He returned to his bed and pulled the little canvas bag from its cubby. He thrust his hand inside and felt around until his fingers found the unmistakable contours of his battered silver cross. He drew it out and sat for a long time rubbing his thumb over the scratched surface. With a sudden swelling in his chest, he removed his dog tags and fumbled to unhook the beaded clasp. He fingered the cross one last time. Then he threaded the chain through the loop on the cross, clipped the chain together again, and put it over his head. “THESE JUST GOT delivered for you.” Terry set a mint-green vase filled with striking blue roses on the counter. She wore a knowing grin. “I