from work, and she agreed. Her last day would be at the end of the month. She would reevaluate after summer, since the baby wasn’t due until December.
Whenever Tanner worried about her headaches and nausea, Jade would lean close and kiss him into silence. “I’m supposed to be sick. Morning sickness means I’m carrying a healthy baby.”
It was enough that she was concerned; there was no point worrying him also. For the most part Tanner was willing to believe her explanations.
She closed her eyes.
Make it go away, Lord, please. Take the pain from my head so I know there’s nothing wrong with me.
Her skull ached in response, and images from the night before filled her mind.
She and Tanner had gone out onto their bedroom balcony to watch the moonlight glistening on the rolling hills behind their home. In the shadows they had spotted a pair of deer making their way to a thicket of oak trees. Tanner came up behind her and slipped his arms around her still-flat mid-section.
“You’re beautiful, Jade. More beautiful than anything.” He whispered into her ear and she leaned her head back against his chest.
“Mmmm.” She closed her eyes. “It feels so good to be with you.”
“I’m sorry you’re sick.” He left a trail of feather-light kisses along her neck. “But I love that you’re pregnant. I want to be a part of everything I missed when you had Ty.”
Tears had burned in Jade’s eyes. “I wish there was a way to get back the years we lost.” She drew a deep breath and savored the weight of his body against hers. “Sometimes I still can’t believe we’re together.”
The memory faded, and Jade stared out the window at the still-dark morning sky. Her first pregnancy had been marked by pain and turmoil, all of it orchestrated by Tanner’s mother and her web of lies.
Jade thought for a moment of the girl she’d been when she got pregnant with Ty, the way she’d ached for Tanner, yet wound up marrying someone else instead, someone she never loved and shouldn’t have married. In the end, it was Doris Eastman’s confession that brought her and Tanner together.
It was amazing, really. After marrying Tanner eighteen months ago, Jade had actually come to like Doris. She was a woman changed by Christ’s forgiveness during the final days of her life—so much so that Jade grieved alongside Tanner when she died a year ago.
Jade’s head pounded harder, and a wave of panic came over her, the same one that seemed to hit with increasing frequency these past months. Against her will, a thought she’d been fighting came back again …
What if the headaches were some sort of punishment? What if God was punishing her for marrying Tanner after being married to Jim Rudolph all those years?
She swallowed hard, reached out, and laid her fingers on Tanner’s bare arm.
Were we wrong, God? Were these not the plans You had for us?
Jade had voiced her fears to Hannah Bronzan before, and each time her friend’s answer ran along the same lines: “You did what you could with Jim. You’ve told the Lord you’re sorry for your part in the marriage, but you were never unfaithful, Jade. Jim was. God doesn’t hold you guilty for that. Not you or Tanner.”
Then Hannah would reiterate what all of them already knew. Jim had moved in with another woman and divorced Jade in a bitter case that nearly cost her full custody of Ty. By the time the divorce was final, Jim had nothing but anger and bitter words for Jade. Three days later he married the woman he’d left Jade for.
Hannah’s reassurances came to Jade again: “You made your mistakes, but you didn’t cause the divorce. The fact that Tanner entered your life again at that time wasn’t some trick by the devil. It was God’s way of blessing both of you after a decade of heartache.”
Her friend’s words sounded right, even now. But still …
There had been women at church who wrinkled their noses at Jade after her decision to marry Tanner, telling her that
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