another cent out of me. I’m Big
Master X’s b____h now. Word to your motherf______g mom!’
“The rest of Freak-E’s statement is unfit even for broadcast on this station
but highlights included allegations that Slee-Z has one of the world’s largest
collection of porcelain teapots and isn’t adverse to the use of a strap-on
when it comes to bedroom fun.
“Big Master X is CEO of Big Black Beats Inc and a self-made multi-billionaire.
Born in the Brooklyn No-Go in 2007,
Big Master X—real name Justin Jones—overcame the combined handicaps of
having a pronounced stutter, being massively obese and hitting every branch of
the ugly tree when he fell out of it, to record his first number one single by
the time he was nine. The following year he set up his own record label and
within six months accepted an eight-figure offer from Eidolon Corp to buy out
Big Black Beats. Freak-E is the latest in a string of female recording artists
signed to BBB with whom Big Master X has been romantically linked following
high profile affairs with Russian teen rap sensation Ivana Sukayov and all
three members of Afghan agit-pop trio, Bombs Not Burkas.
“Slee-Z was unavailable for comment but sources close to the music, clothing
and prostitution mogul have told this station that Slee-Z is unlikely to take
Freak-E’s defection, especially to his biggest rival, lying down.
“In other news, aspiring Independent presidential candidate, William Hicks,
has announced that he has proof that the information linking the Democratic
Confederation of the Congos with the Basque Reunification cell who took out
the Washington Memorial last spring to be entirely fabricated.
“What kind of President, asks Hicks, could be so addled and opportunistic as
to confuse two entirely different and separate world powers purely on the
basis that he considers them both to be dangerous foreigners with guns?
“A White House source, speaking off the record, sez: ‘William Hicks might once
have had a first-class mind, but these latest statements show that he’s now
completely delusional—delusion evidenced by his belief that he could ever
become President in any real world.’
“And if the independent candidate is delusional then it looks like these
things are catching. We here at WWAXZY have been receiving some very strange
reports today.
“In Tokyo, more than a hundred subway commuters have spontaneously developed
symptoms consistent with that of a Sarin attack. Physical traces of any kind
of contaminant has yet to be found.
“The images of ghost-like and gigantic women have been glimpsed floating over
several of the world’s most isolated communities, variously described as
resembling the Angel of Mons, Winged Victory of Samathrace and, in the New
Hegonomy of Bangkok as that of Rati, Ragalata the vine of love, Kelikila the
Shameless, Mayarati the Deceiver—a multiple deity currently appearing in her
aspect of a huge-breasted woman who drives all who might behold her mad with
carnal lust. To which, all WWAXZY can say, is that some godless savages get
all the luck.
“And speaking of massive goddesses who drive all who might behold them mad
with carnal lust, we now return you to our back-to-back marathon of Freak-E
hits. Here’s the hot new mix of ‘Be My Pimp’…”
6.
He was:
Caught and killed and falling through darkness, tumbling head-over-heels with his heart in his mouth; boogiemen in the dark, their juju light shining bright behind the ragged holes of their eyes; still he continued to fall and it was heard to breathe… razor-shards in his lungs and blood on the walls and sick, slick mucus on the walls and something was happening to his—
He was:
Plunging through a cavern of membrane, tubular clusters of matter clinging to the sides and small lights flashing among them in a manner reminiscent of readouts. Here and there the membrane walls were ripped open to expose a darkness in which hideously distorted images of human faces were
Master X’s b____h now. Word to your motherf______g mom!’
“The rest of Freak-E’s statement is unfit even for broadcast on this station
but highlights included allegations that Slee-Z has one of the world’s largest
collection of porcelain teapots and isn’t adverse to the use of a strap-on
when it comes to bedroom fun.
“Big Master X is CEO of Big Black Beats Inc and a self-made multi-billionaire.
Born in the Brooklyn No-Go in 2007,
Big Master X—real name Justin Jones—overcame the combined handicaps of
having a pronounced stutter, being massively obese and hitting every branch of
the ugly tree when he fell out of it, to record his first number one single by
the time he was nine. The following year he set up his own record label and
within six months accepted an eight-figure offer from Eidolon Corp to buy out
Big Black Beats. Freak-E is the latest in a string of female recording artists
signed to BBB with whom Big Master X has been romantically linked following
high profile affairs with Russian teen rap sensation Ivana Sukayov and all
three members of Afghan agit-pop trio, Bombs Not Burkas.
“Slee-Z was unavailable for comment but sources close to the music, clothing
and prostitution mogul have told this station that Slee-Z is unlikely to take
Freak-E’s defection, especially to his biggest rival, lying down.
“In other news, aspiring Independent presidential candidate, William Hicks,
has announced that he has proof that the information linking the Democratic
Confederation of the Congos with the Basque Reunification cell who took out
the Washington Memorial last spring to be entirely fabricated.
“What kind of President, asks Hicks, could be so addled and opportunistic as
to confuse two entirely different and separate world powers purely on the
basis that he considers them both to be dangerous foreigners with guns?
“A White House source, speaking off the record, sez: ‘William Hicks might once
have had a first-class mind, but these latest statements show that he’s now
completely delusional—delusion evidenced by his belief that he could ever
become President in any real world.’
“And if the independent candidate is delusional then it looks like these
things are catching. We here at WWAXZY have been receiving some very strange
reports today.
“In Tokyo, more than a hundred subway commuters have spontaneously developed
symptoms consistent with that of a Sarin attack. Physical traces of any kind
of contaminant has yet to be found.
“The images of ghost-like and gigantic women have been glimpsed floating over
several of the world’s most isolated communities, variously described as
resembling the Angel of Mons, Winged Victory of Samathrace and, in the New
Hegonomy of Bangkok as that of Rati, Ragalata the vine of love, Kelikila the
Shameless, Mayarati the Deceiver—a multiple deity currently appearing in her
aspect of a huge-breasted woman who drives all who might behold her mad with
carnal lust. To which, all WWAXZY can say, is that some godless savages get
all the luck.
“And speaking of massive goddesses who drive all who might behold them mad
with carnal lust, we now return you to our back-to-back marathon of Freak-E
hits. Here’s the hot new mix of ‘Be My Pimp’…”
6.
He was:
Caught and killed and falling through darkness, tumbling head-over-heels with his heart in his mouth; boogiemen in the dark, their juju light shining bright behind the ragged holes of their eyes; still he continued to fall and it was heard to breathe… razor-shards in his lungs and blood on the walls and sick, slick mucus on the walls and something was happening to his—
He was:
Plunging through a cavern of membrane, tubular clusters of matter clinging to the sides and small lights flashing among them in a manner reminiscent of readouts. Here and there the membrane walls were ripped open to expose a darkness in which hideously distorted images of human faces were
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