Read Online Godless by Pete Hautman - Free Book Online Page A

could be read in any number of ways—Mopdo, Waqude, AArgha—but I’m pretty sure the name she meant to write is Magda.

 
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    A ND SO THE O CEAN BEGAN TO SPEAK .
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13
 
    â€œI called to apologize,” Magda says.
    â€œOh. For what?”
    â€œFor dumping that drink on you, silly.”
    â€œOh.”
    â€œI feel bad about it. I knew you were just kidding around.”
    â€œOh …” I sound like a moron. Is “Oh” all I know how to say? “Uh … that’s okay.” A moronic moron. Zog the Neanderthal. I’m sweating like a pig (do pigs really sweat?) and I can smell my armpits. Good thing there’s five miles of phone line between us.
    â€œYou’re not going to tell my boss about it, are you? I could get fired.”
    â€œUh, no …”
    â€œNot that working at Wigglesworth’s is so great anyway.”
    â€œAt least you got a job.”
    â€œNext time you come in and I’m working, I’ll give you a free Brainblaster.”
    â€œYou don’t have to.”
    â€œI want to. So, how’s it going?”
    What does she mean by that? I don’t know what to say. It’s weird. I can sit in a TPO meeting or a classroom with a bunch of kids and yak my head off. Or talk for hours to Shin, or even to a guy like Henry, but one-on-one with Magda, my brain seizes up like an overheated engine.
    â€œJason? You there?”
    â€œYeah.”
    â€œYou fall asleep or something?”
    â€œNo. My mom thinks I’ve got narcolepsy.”
Why am I telling her this?
    â€œWhat’s that?”
    â€œSleeping sickness.”
Shut up, you idiot! Do you want her to think you’ve got some tropical disease?
“But I’m not sleepy right now.”
    â€œâ€™Cause if you want to sleep we could talk later.”
    â€œI’m okay.” I hope my sweat dripping into the little mouthpiece holes won’t short out the phone.
    â€œSo, how’s the new religion going?”
    â€œGoing? Uh … I climbed up the tower last night.”
    â€œYou did? Really?”
    â€œYeah. Me and Henry went up.”
    â€œHenry
Stagg
?”
    â€œYeah.”
    â€œHe’s … I didn’t know you guys were friends.”
    â€œWe’re not friends really. But he’s okay.”
    â€œI think he’s scary. I heard he hit you or something.”
    â€œWhere’d you hear that?”
    â€œSome kids were talking about it.”
    Great. All of St. Andrew Valley is talking about how little Henry Stagg laid me out with a single punch.
    â€œSo did he?” Magda is nothing if not persistent.
    â€œYeah, but that was last week. He’s a Chutengodian now. Chutengodians don’t hit each other.”
    â€œSo what was it like?”
    â€œTo get hit?”
    â€œNo! To climb up the tower.”
    â€œIt was cool. You can see all the way to Fairview.”
    â€œI think I’d be scared. I mean, I’d
do
it, but I’d be scared.”
    I don’t know what she means by that. Does she mean she wants to climb the tower?
    â€œJason?”
    â€œWhat?”
    â€œSo are you mad at me?”
    â€œWhy would I be mad at you?”
    â€œI don’t know. You aren’t saying anything.”
    â€œOh.” I’m glad
I’m
not trying to have a conversation with me. It must be boring as hell. What can I say that is interesting? Perhaps an astute grammatical observation.
    I say, “Did you know that you start a lot of sentences with the word
so
?”
    â€œThanks a lot. Did you know you’re an insensitive jerk?”
    Hmmm. Maybe she’s not into grammar.
    â€œSorry,” I say. “I just thought you might want to know.”
    â€œYeah, well, thanks a lot. Like I need language lessons from a guy who can’t have a simple phone conversation.”
    â€œI didn’t mean anything by it.”
    Silence.
    I say, “Look, lots of people say stuff like