Read Online Girl Walks Into a Bar by Rachel Dratch - Free Book Online
Authors: Rachel Dratch
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had a hit scene. And it was all because I said yes.
any more questions?
I said this book wasn’t about showbiz and so far I’ve only talked about showbiz. But you have to see where I was coming from before you see where I ended up. So that pretty much wraps up the showbiz section. Oh. Wait … no. I see a few hands up in the imaginary crowd of people in my head, wondering about a few things I left out. There are several questions I am asked again and again, so I will close out by answering them. I have to interject that you would be surprised at how often I am asked this stuff by strangers, and that’s the only reason I’m going into it here. I know that there are far more important issues going on in the world, and that people in France have no idea who I am. Except the Brulés, the French family I lived with for a semester during college. So here are the answers to the last few questions I’m asked a lot. Um, let’s see. … I see a lot of hands…. Yes, you!? Doorman from a few buildings down from my apartment?
“So why aren’t you doing those little parts on 30 Rock? Why aren’t you on 30 Rock anymore?”
Well, Manny, my character spots ended up happening less frequently as that first season went on, until the idea was faded off completely when the show returned for its second season. Much as I thought playing the different characters was a cool idea, I could understand the fade-out. New sitcoms are ever-changing beasts, and as the show evolved and the sketch section of the show disappeared, the “Where’s Waldo?” thing of me popping up as various characters didn’t quite fit in. Also, though Tina made many self-deprecating jokes about low ratings when the show was starting out, 30 Rock received a great deal of critical acclaim and was developing a reputation as being The Little Cool Show That Could. Big movie stars were starting to do guest spots in the types of parts I would have been playing, movie stars who could bring in more viewers than I to a show that initially was struggling in the ratings. It was kind of a “Well, that’s showbiz!” situation.
Tina did have me back to appear on the show a few times as the years went by, for the 100th episode as well as the live episode they did. I liked going back to the set and being able to hang with my old friends and cast mates, well out of the awkward period of the replacement and all the hoopla.
Ok, next question, … uh … you! My mom’s friend from book club? I wanna say your name is Lois?
“Yes. Lois Karshbaum. Weren’t you and Tina friends from your Chicago days? Was that weird?”
Well, yes, Lois, Tina and I were friends from back in our Chicago days, and we are still friends now. I have a hunch that my friendship with Tina is one of the reasons my replacement on the pilot got so much publicity. Dozens of actors are replacedon pilots every season, and it’s usually a little footnote in a trade paper. Tina and I have been friends for many years, and when you throw in the casting changeup, it makes people wonder—what was that like?
Tina and I met in 1996, back in our Second City days in Chicago. I worked with her closely, since we were in two shows on the mainstage together. We did one of my favorite Second City scenes together, a scene called “Wicked” that featured the two of us with thick Boston accents as a mother and daughter shopping at the mall. (It was the precursor to the Boston teens scene we wrote for me and Jimmy Fallon when I landed at SNL .) A classic Tina line from “Wicked”:
ME: Ma, you’re gonna give me a negative body image. You know eight out of ten teenage girls have a negative body image.
TINA: Yeah? Well, six of ’em are right.
We would hang out after the shows, often ending up with her then-boyfriend, now-husband, Jeff, and fellow cast member Scott Adsit at a diner called the Golden Apple. These were the glorious days of one’s youth, when you could down a milk shake and French fries at two A.M. without
any more questions?
I said this book wasn’t about showbiz and so far I’ve only talked about showbiz. But you have to see where I was coming from before you see where I ended up. So that pretty much wraps up the showbiz section. Oh. Wait … no. I see a few hands up in the imaginary crowd of people in my head, wondering about a few things I left out. There are several questions I am asked again and again, so I will close out by answering them. I have to interject that you would be surprised at how often I am asked this stuff by strangers, and that’s the only reason I’m going into it here. I know that there are far more important issues going on in the world, and that people in France have no idea who I am. Except the Brulés, the French family I lived with for a semester during college. So here are the answers to the last few questions I’m asked a lot. Um, let’s see. … I see a lot of hands…. Yes, you!? Doorman from a few buildings down from my apartment?
“So why aren’t you doing those little parts on 30 Rock? Why aren’t you on 30 Rock anymore?”
Well, Manny, my character spots ended up happening less frequently as that first season went on, until the idea was faded off completely when the show returned for its second season. Much as I thought playing the different characters was a cool idea, I could understand the fade-out. New sitcoms are ever-changing beasts, and as the show evolved and the sketch section of the show disappeared, the “Where’s Waldo?” thing of me popping up as various characters didn’t quite fit in. Also, though Tina made many self-deprecating jokes about low ratings when the show was starting out, 30 Rock received a great deal of critical acclaim and was developing a reputation as being The Little Cool Show That Could. Big movie stars were starting to do guest spots in the types of parts I would have been playing, movie stars who could bring in more viewers than I to a show that initially was struggling in the ratings. It was kind of a “Well, that’s showbiz!” situation.
Tina did have me back to appear on the show a few times as the years went by, for the 100th episode as well as the live episode they did. I liked going back to the set and being able to hang with my old friends and cast mates, well out of the awkward period of the replacement and all the hoopla.
Ok, next question, … uh … you! My mom’s friend from book club? I wanna say your name is Lois?
“Yes. Lois Karshbaum. Weren’t you and Tina friends from your Chicago days? Was that weird?”
Well, yes, Lois, Tina and I were friends from back in our Chicago days, and we are still friends now. I have a hunch that my friendship with Tina is one of the reasons my replacement on the pilot got so much publicity. Dozens of actors are replacedon pilots every season, and it’s usually a little footnote in a trade paper. Tina and I have been friends for many years, and when you throw in the casting changeup, it makes people wonder—what was that like?
Tina and I met in 1996, back in our Second City days in Chicago. I worked with her closely, since we were in two shows on the mainstage together. We did one of my favorite Second City scenes together, a scene called “Wicked” that featured the two of us with thick Boston accents as a mother and daughter shopping at the mall. (It was the precursor to the Boston teens scene we wrote for me and Jimmy Fallon when I landed at SNL .) A classic Tina line from “Wicked”:
ME: Ma, you’re gonna give me a negative body image. You know eight out of ten teenage girls have a negative body image.
TINA: Yeah? Well, six of ’em are right.
We would hang out after the shows, often ending up with her then-boyfriend, now-husband, Jeff, and fellow cast member Scott Adsit at a diner called the Golden Apple. These were the glorious days of one’s youth, when you could down a milk shake and French fries at two A.M. without
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