Read Online Gator by Bijou Hunter - Free Book Online Page B

smile.
    When I place
my hand on hers, she finally looks up from her lap.
    “I would have
been a bad mom, but my baby isn’t better off dead.”
    “I know.”
    Mia nods then
glances once more at the girl. I know even after our meal and the walk back to
the hotel that her mind is on the baby she lost. I can’t imagine bringing a child
into her hell. Rodent barely kept Mia alive and I suspect the baby wouldn’t
have lasted more than a few months.
    “I love you,”
Mia says as we sit on the balcony.
    The words cut
into me and I can’t remember ever hearing them before. My mother must have told
me at least once that she loved me. I know she did, but I can’t remember it.
    Mia’s
depressed now because she wants me to say I love her too.
    “Words aren’t
my strong suit,” I tell her instead.
    Mia nods then
stands up and walks inside. Figuring she’s angry, I don’t follow. Soon, her
absence bothers me and I must chase after her.
    Mia sits on
the couch with a blanket wrapped around her. Joining her, I can’t say what she
wants to hear. I don’t know if what I feel is love. I want Mia to understand me
enough to know I can’t pretend.
    “I wanted to
die when Rodent killed my baby,” she whispers from farther down on the couch.
“Tonight, I feel sad.”
    “I know.”
    “I need to be
close, but you push me away,” she says, standing up and moving in front of me.
“You think I’m a little girl because I have my doll. The toy was the only thing
that was ever mine. I’m not a child and I want you. Don’t push me away anymore,
Jake.”
    Mia opens the
blanket and I see all her flesh before me. My gaze takes in the sight of so
much pale skin then my hands reach for her as she straddles me.
    “I’m yours,”
she whispers and I sense her fear.
    “Beautiful
Mia.”
    When I cup
her right tit, her hips buck on my lap then settle back down. She’s focused on
my face while I caress her nipple between my thumb and index finger.
    No longer are
we waiting for that special moment. Hell, I don’t know how to make fucking
special. Flowers, candles, shitty music feels wrong. Those are lies because we’re
not romantic people. We are the children of evil. I’m a man with blood on my
hands while Mia lives with shame in her heart. Broken by life, we can’t lie to
each other. This realization is when I understand.
    Mia knows me.
For her, I’m not Gator. I’m not the scars or the fearsome look or the body
women drool over. I’m not a killer or a man to be redeemed. I’m just me. Failed
and fucked up. I’m ruined by life, yet live on to ruin others. I’m complicated
and simple. I’m her savior and just the kid trapped in the swamp with monsters.
I’m everything and nothing. Mia knows me in a way no one ever has and this is
what makes our kiss special.
    I know her
too. Mia is ruined, but I see the light flickering stronger in her every day
we’re together. Wanting to survive and flourish, she can be anything to others,
but she’s real to me. I see the child crying in the dark and the whore hiding
in her head while servicing evil men. I know her and she is perfect in her
flawed fucked up way. She’s everything I need to make life mean something.
    When she
shivers violently under my touch, I know she’s not afraid. The arousal startles
her. I see in her wide eyes how it feels so new. She is both frightened and
amazed. The flicker of light inside her burns brighter as she leans into my
caress.
    My hands are
filled with her warm flesh as I stroke her nipples until the pink nubs point at
me. When I raise my lips to find hers, they meet mine eagerly. She moans into
my mouth as I pinch her nipples playfully.
    Once my lips
leave hers, I tug her closer and suck her nipple into my mouth. Mia’s fingers
slid into my hair as I suck harder. Her moans are soft and full of surprise.
When my teeth tug at her nipple, she whimpers my name.
    My arousal is
nearly uncontrollable now. I pick up Mia in one easy movement and my lips