the walls were a series of tribal-looking paintings depicting various taboo sexual acts. Many showed groups of female or male figures partnered together in unnatural ways. It was as if I had stepped into a forbidden world. The secret world of Nell.
I was shaking as I walked over to the stack of books to determine their titles. I discovered countless books on Japanese and tribal rituals, magic and mythology. One whole stack consisted of books by Dr. Sigmund Freud.
There was a large sleeping cushion on the floor, instead of a traditional bed. Next to it was an open book. I bent down, flipped the book over and read the title, “ The Third Gender. ”
My intuition cautioned me. Yet nothing could have prepared me for the drawings and photographs I saw of humans appearing to be a blend of man and woman. I closed the book in horror. I asked myself just who was this woman named Nell?
With the book still in my hand, I heard the back door open. My heart jumped to my throat. I quickly replaced the book, stepped out in the hall and closed the door softly behind me. With my back flattened against the wall, I held my breath and waited to see who or what was approaching. If need be, I could slip out the front door.
Heavy footsteps fell against the wooden floors and then I saw him—Ox. Across his shoulder were two dead rabbits. He went in the kitchen and flopped them down on the table. I stood still, braced to run.
When he came back out, he gave me a sideward glance. “Nell said stew them up for supper.” Then he lumbered out the back door.
After I was sure he was gone, I ran to lock the door. I discovered there were no locks on the back or front door. I had no way of protecting myself. I was just as defenseless as the dead rabbits that were lying on the table.
Nothing in my past had included handling dead animals. I had no clue how to skin or dress the meat. I would have left them, but driven by my fear of Nell and my own hunger, I obeyed.
It was not an expert job, but I accomplished the chore. I looked for something to season the meat. I found no salt, but remembered seeing an herb garden alongside one of the old shacks. I laid the meat out next to the stove and went out to see what I could find.
It was peculiar to see smoke rising from the chimney of the shack. I looked in every direction, saw no one and proceeded to pick a handful of rosemary, garlic and parsley. I gathered up my skirt to form a basket. I had just straightened up my back when I felt a heavy hand on my shoulder. I turned and found myself face to face with Ox. He was smiling, with his head tilted to one side like a child. “Here’s,” he said, holding out a bunch of carrots.
Slowly I reached out and took them from him. He began to laugh. It was then I realized he was a simpleton, not a monster. “Pretty lady, pretty lady, took my carrots, took my carrots,” he said, as he jumped up and down.
“Thank you,” I said, looking into his distorted face.
“Ox live here,” he said, and extended his hand toward the shack.
“Bye-bye,” I replied, and hurried back toward the house. My guess was he was not dangerous, but another one of Nell’s tenants that no one came back for.
In the distance, I could hear him chanting, “Pretty lady, pretty lady, took my carrots, and took my carrots.” I prayed to myself, “Please dear Lord, let my father come for me soon.”
When I entered the kitchen, I was alarmed to see the kitten standing on the rabbits, eating the raw flesh. I quickly lifted her off without scolding her. She was hungry too. I cut off a hunk of the meat for her, then washed the rest and dropped it into the pot with the herbs and carrots.
In a short time the house was fragrant with the smell of the stew cooking, which gave the house a more homey feeling. I was feeling more at ease there, but Nell’s dark room was haunting. I was determined not to think of it and went into the library.
I stopped first at the piano. I did not play too loudly,
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