Read Online Funland by Richard Laymon - Free Book Online Page A

to him. “Try it, you’ll like it.” He looked warily at the confection. He shook his head. Joan took the wallet out of her shoulder bag and removed a ten-dollar bill.
    “If you think you’re going to get me onto that death-trap contraption…”
    “My friend, everyone is afraid of heights.”
    “This from the lady who scaled the Hurricane.”
    “I was scared shitless. But I did it anyway, because it had to be done. And you’re going to ride the Ferris wheel for the same reason.”
    “It does not have to be done.”
    “Oh, yes it does.” She bought ten tickets and received five dollars in change.
    Harold followed her to the line for the Ferris wheel. He had a nervous smile on his face as he handed the cotton candy to her. “You don’t honestly expect me to go through with this?”
    “You’ll like it. I promise.”
    “I won’t like it, because I won’t do it.”
    “I’ve already bought the tickets.”
    “You may ride it twice. I’ll stay right here, safe on the ground, and wait patiently.”
    She looked him in the eye. “I want you to go on it with me, Harold. Just the Ferris wheel. I won’t ask you to try the Hurricane or the parachute drop or anything else. Just this one ride. It won’t kill you.”
    “That’s because I won’t be on it.”
    “Harold, please.”
    Now the nervous smile was gone. Replaced by a frown of annoyance. “I don’t understand why you insist on being so adamant about this. For heaven’s sake, it’s just a carnival ride. It’s hardly worth bickering about. It won’t make one whit of difference, in the scheme of things, whether or not I go on the stupid thing.”
    “It makes a big difference to me,” Joan said.
    “Oh, I have to prove I’m a man, is that it? Is this some kind of a test?”
    “It didn’t start out that way,” Joan told him.
    “I’ll ride the damn thing if it’ll make you happy.”
    “Good,” she muttered. She turned away from him. She took a bite of the cotton candy and it melted away in her mouth and she felt like crying.
    The Ferris wheel was still going full speed, its lighted spokes spinning, cars rocking, riders squealing as they were swept down from the staggering height. Some of them, she saw, were embracing. She tossed her cotton candy into a trash bin.
    “I said I’ll do it.” He sounded petulant.
    “I heard you.”
    “So what are you pouting about?” he asked.
    “This was supposed to be fun.”
    “I’m sorry.” He didn’t sound sorry at all. “I guess I’m just not a very fun guy. Maybe you should’ve come here with one of your macho cop friends. I’m sure Dave would be delighted to ride the goddamn Ferris wheel.”
    “He wouldn’t whine about it.”
    “Now I’m a whiner. Isn’t that wonderful.”
    “Not especially.”
    “Christ.”
    “You’ve never touched me, Harold.”
    His mouth fell open.
    “Joan, for Christsake.” He glanced around as if fearful that someone might be listening. But the others waiting in line were talking among themselves. The air was thick with laughter and screams, the spiels of pitchmen, the crackle of gunfire from the shooting gallery, hurdy-gurdy music from the Ferris wheel.
    He didn’t need to worry about eavesdroppers.
    “Is it me?” Joan asked. “Is something wrong with me?”
    “No, of course not.”
    “Then what is it? We’ve been going together for weeks. We hold hands and kiss good night— I kiss you good night. And that’s it.”
    “I thought you preferred it that way.”
    “Then you don’t know much about—”
    “Move it along, folks.”
    Harold stiffened.
    Joan saw that the line had moved forward, that their turn had come to board the Ferris wheel.
    “We don’t have to do it,” she said.
    But he shook his head and went through the gate. The man took the tickets from Joan. They stepped onto a platform and climbed into the waiting gondola of the Ferris wheel. It rocked gently as they sat down. The man swung a metal safety bar across the front and latched it