Read Online Funland by Richard Laymon - Free Book Online

That’s what I hear. A couple of them got into the Funhouse. This was five or six years ago, I guess. I was still at Stanford. Dave told me about it. He said they jumped a little girl and her grandmother.”
    “Terrible,” Harold muttered.
    “The old woman keeled over with a heart attack.”
    “What about the girl?”
    “She wasn’t hurt. Some sailors came to the rescue. But the grandmother died. Dunn was forced to shut down his freak show. Then he couldn’t afford the liability insurance to keep his Funhouse going, so he closed it. He still owns it, though. Nobody can get him to tear it down.”
    “Maybe he wants to reopen it someday.”
    “I wouldn’t be surprised. He doesn’t have a grate on the floor of the Oddities place.”
    Harold looked at the abandoned Funhouse and shook his head. “I might’ve enjoyed that,” he said.
    “Right. That’s a real shame. The one attraction on the entire boardwalk that you might’ve enjoyed, and it isn’t open.”
    “No, I mean it. When I was a kid, I used to go to Riverview in Chicago. I guess Riverview’s long gone now. But they had a funhouse called Aladdin’s Castle. Or was it Palace? I don’t recall. But I used to love it.”
    “Gee, there is hope for you.” She took hold of his arm, and they strolled on. “So, you used to enjoy amusement parks. In your callow youth.”
    “Before I became a stick-in-the-mud.”
    Joan smiled. “Tell me more about your prestick days.”
    “I was always too timid for my own good.”
    She squeezed his arm, said, “Just a minute,” then smiled and raised her other hand in greeting. “Hiya, Jim, Beth.”
    The two officers walked over to them. Jim looked at her legs.
    “Don’t you see enough of this place during the day?” Beth asked.
    “Dave won’t let me ride the Hurricane.”
    “Just lets you climb on it,” Jim said.
    She introduced them to Harold. He shook hands with them.
    “Be careful with her, Harry,” Jim said.
    “Is she fragile?”
    “She’s got a black belt.”
    “And I’m not above hitting people with it,” Joan said.
    “Don’t let her cuff you to the bed. Once she’s got you helpless, out comes the belt.”
    “Are you speaking from personal experience?” Harold asked him.
    “In his dreams,” Joan said.
    Beth nudged Jim with her elbow. “Come on, Casanova. Nice meeting you, Harold.”
    “Yeah,” Jim said. He slapped Harold’s arm. “Got one word of advice for you, Harry. Go for it.”
    Harold grinned and nodded.
    “That was three words, dipstick,” Joan said.
    “But who’s counting?”
    He and Beth ambled away. Before they vanished into the crowd, Joan saw them look at each other and start talking. No doubt discussing her boyfriend. Jim, for one, would not be voicing approval.
    “Interesting fellow,” Harold said.
    “Rarely.”
    At least Jim goes for it, Joan thought. You may not want him to go for it, you may have to inflict some pain to stop him, but he’s interested enough to make the try.
    “Is it true that you have a black belt?”
    “I have a black garter belt.”
    “Would you like some cotton candy?”
    “Sure. That’d be great.”
    What does it take to get a rise out of him? she wondered.
    He bought a cotton candy for Joan, nothing for himself. She tore off a puffy wad with her teeth, drew it into her mouth, and felt it dissolve before she had much chance to chew it.
    “So at that Riverview place,” she said, “what did you like besides Aladdin’s Castle? The roller coaster?”
    “They couldn’t drag me onto the Bobs. Or the parachute drop. As I said, I was timid.”
    “How about the Ferris wheel?”
    “I wouldn’t go near it.”
    “How about the Ferris wheel right now?”
    “Oh, I don’t think so.”
    “I do.” The sign by its gate showed that five tickets were needed. She headed for a nearby ticket booth, Harold hurrying after her.
    “Joan, I’m not going on that thing.”
    She stepped into line. “Hold this,” she said, and handed the cotton candy