Read Online Frisked in Fondant: Tulle and Tulips, Book 6 by Nikki Duncan - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Nikki Duncan
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for concern.” Gisella tilted her head and studied Lori. “How are you so much calmer than everyone else? Why do I feel like you know what I’m facing?”
“I haven’t always designed wedding dresses.”
“Your government work?”
Lori nodded. “I dealt with my share of injuries and near-death calls. I applaud you wanting to get back to work right away, but you need to take time to recover.”
“I’m fine.”
“Have you gotten more than six hours of sleep since it happened? Can you close your eyes without seeing them? Without feeling the knife at your throat?”
Gisella gulped. Tears pooled in her eyes.
“I didn’t think so,” Lori said quietly. “It’s not easy to brush aside terror.”
“I was ready to die,” Gisella whispered. “I knew it was coming and I was okay with it. Not saying I wanted it, but I was okay with it, because if I died I’d get to be with my parents again.”
Lori squeezed her hand and said nothing. She just waited, giving Gisella the chance to keep going.
“They were killed when I was little. In a home invasion. I used to wish I’d died with them.” She’d wished it every time a new bully chose her to pick on. She’d wished it when she’d been too fat and pimply to get a prom or homecoming date or any date.
“I didn’t know about your parents. Why don’t you talk about them?”
“I was hiding under a sink while they died. Talking about them means going back to the night it happened.”
“And Friday took you back there too. Is that part of why you’re not sleeping?”
“Two home invasions in the same house. The memories of then and now bleed together when I close my eyes. Except when…” She trailed off, not wanting to allow herself to rely on the strength she’d found with Kyle beside her.
“Except when what?” Lori prompted. “What helps you drive away the memories?”
“Kyle.” She spoke his name in a whisper, but it was a relief to talk to a friend about him, to give voice to what she couldn’t figure out for herself. “I don’t know why, but the moment he stepped into the kitchen I felt safe. The blood oozing from my neck, the disaster of my house, the terror of seeing the knife every time I closed my eyes for a second… It all faded when he stepped in the room. When he stooped beside me and touched me, talked to me, it all vanished.”
“Wow.”
“I feel safe with him. Safe in a way I’ve never known. And it scares the shit out of me to think about wanting to lean on him. Then it scares the shit out of me to think about him not being there. He spent the night Friday. Held me while I slept. It was the only sleep I’ve gotten.”
“That’s…heavy.”
“It’s disturbing.” Her emotional balance was returning the longer she talked to Lori. Gisella knew Lori’s past hadn’t always been easy, and she’d done some terrible things for what she’d been told were the right reasons, but she’d never considered how dark things had been.
“Do you want some advice from a friend who spent too long being afraid of the day the man she wanted wouldn’t be there?”
“Please.”
“Some women need a man to make her feel cherished. Some need a man to keep her on her toes and challenge her intellectually. Some women need a man who makes her feel sexy as hell. Some of us need a man who sees how our fears and traumas turn us into neurotic messes and wants only to guard us against any more darkness. If we’re lucky, he does all those other things for us in the process.
“If Kyle can chase away your demons, don’t push him away. Allow yourself to rely on someone, and if it doesn’t last, know it’s not because you’re lacking or undeserving.”
“Is that what kept you from accepting Trevor’s proposals for so long? You thought you didn’t deserve him?”
“Yeah. It didn’t matter how many times he swore he’d always be there for me, I was afraid to trust him completely. If you trust Kyle, and it sounds like you do, trust him
“I haven’t always designed wedding dresses.”
“Your government work?”
Lori nodded. “I dealt with my share of injuries and near-death calls. I applaud you wanting to get back to work right away, but you need to take time to recover.”
“I’m fine.”
“Have you gotten more than six hours of sleep since it happened? Can you close your eyes without seeing them? Without feeling the knife at your throat?”
Gisella gulped. Tears pooled in her eyes.
“I didn’t think so,” Lori said quietly. “It’s not easy to brush aside terror.”
“I was ready to die,” Gisella whispered. “I knew it was coming and I was okay with it. Not saying I wanted it, but I was okay with it, because if I died I’d get to be with my parents again.”
Lori squeezed her hand and said nothing. She just waited, giving Gisella the chance to keep going.
“They were killed when I was little. In a home invasion. I used to wish I’d died with them.” She’d wished it every time a new bully chose her to pick on. She’d wished it when she’d been too fat and pimply to get a prom or homecoming date or any date.
“I didn’t know about your parents. Why don’t you talk about them?”
“I was hiding under a sink while they died. Talking about them means going back to the night it happened.”
“And Friday took you back there too. Is that part of why you’re not sleeping?”
“Two home invasions in the same house. The memories of then and now bleed together when I close my eyes. Except when…” She trailed off, not wanting to allow herself to rely on the strength she’d found with Kyle beside her.
“Except when what?” Lori prompted. “What helps you drive away the memories?”
“Kyle.” She spoke his name in a whisper, but it was a relief to talk to a friend about him, to give voice to what she couldn’t figure out for herself. “I don’t know why, but the moment he stepped into the kitchen I felt safe. The blood oozing from my neck, the disaster of my house, the terror of seeing the knife every time I closed my eyes for a second… It all faded when he stepped in the room. When he stooped beside me and touched me, talked to me, it all vanished.”
“Wow.”
“I feel safe with him. Safe in a way I’ve never known. And it scares the shit out of me to think about wanting to lean on him. Then it scares the shit out of me to think about him not being there. He spent the night Friday. Held me while I slept. It was the only sleep I’ve gotten.”
“That’s…heavy.”
“It’s disturbing.” Her emotional balance was returning the longer she talked to Lori. Gisella knew Lori’s past hadn’t always been easy, and she’d done some terrible things for what she’d been told were the right reasons, but she’d never considered how dark things had been.
“Do you want some advice from a friend who spent too long being afraid of the day the man she wanted wouldn’t be there?”
“Please.”
“Some women need a man to make her feel cherished. Some need a man to keep her on her toes and challenge her intellectually. Some women need a man who makes her feel sexy as hell. Some of us need a man who sees how our fears and traumas turn us into neurotic messes and wants only to guard us against any more darkness. If we’re lucky, he does all those other things for us in the process.
“If Kyle can chase away your demons, don’t push him away. Allow yourself to rely on someone, and if it doesn’t last, know it’s not because you’re lacking or undeserving.”
“Is that what kept you from accepting Trevor’s proposals for so long? You thought you didn’t deserve him?”
“Yeah. It didn’t matter how many times he swore he’d always be there for me, I was afraid to trust him completely. If you trust Kyle, and it sounds like you do, trust him
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