I
was.
As if she knew where my thoughts were,
she pulled her hand back into her lap. Looking past me out the
window, she continued, “The day he died I said goodbye before I
left for school. He never got out of bed anymore, so I sat beside
him and told him about some stupid thing we were doing in art
class. If I had known I would never see him again, I would have
told him how much I loved him, how much I would miss him…” Her
voice trailed off and she quickly swiped at her eyes. A few more
tendrils had escaped from her bun to fall around her
face.
Offering me an apologetic smile, she
said, “Now I’m sorry. You probably didn’t want to know all
that.”
“No, I do,” I said, and I actually
meant it.
“I guess the point of my story is that
I wish I could have said goodbye. Right now, when you’re in the
middle of it all, it’s hard to see any good in this situation. But
from someone who didn’t have the chance to say goodbye, to say all
the things I wish I had said, having these months with your mom
truly is a blessing.”
Poppy fell silent and glanced at me
cautiously, probably trying to gauge whether she had pissed me off.
Had she not started with her story about her dad, I probably would
have been pissed to have anyone tell me this time was a blessing.
Hearing how she wished she had known that her dad was dying put
things in perspective for me. It wasn’t like the heavens opened and
light shone down around me, but it did make me think about what I
should do with the time I had left with my mom. Or more like what I
shouldn’t do - sulking, yelling, arguing.
It was going to be hard enough coming
to grips with the fact that my mom wouldn’t be around this time
next year or even six months from now. On top of that I had to
start acting like a normal person, which was something I hadn’t
done in almost three years.
Looking across the table at probably
the nicest person on the face of the planet, I decided to ask for
help. “My mom tells me I need to be nicer.”
The corner of her full mouth twitched
up, and her eyes lost some of the cautiousness that had been there
since I showed up in her yoga class. “My mom tells me I’m too
nice.”
“Maybe we could be friends and help
each other out.”
That got a laugh from her, and it felt
good.
“Okay, we can be friends, but right
now I have get to class,” she said, standing up.
When I came to find her this morning,
I wanted to apologize and get the hell out. Somehow I ended up
doing yoga, drinking coffee and wishing she didn’t have to leave
yet. Standing up with her, I held out my hand to seal our
deal.
“Friends it is. I promise not to yell
at you.”
She shook my hand and walked to the
door, looking back over her shoulder. “Smile more too. It looks
good on you.”
Chapter Five
Poppy
I had my doubts after our talk at the
coffee shop, but Ford was serious about trying to be nicer and
about us being friends. We weren’t exactly sharing our deepest
darkest secrets, but he did stop avoiding me. When I arrived at
2:00, he hung around until ten minutes before his shift. After he
was done with work at 11:00 he came right home. Maggie was always
in bed for a long time by then, and I heated up a plate of food for
Ford. Whatever I had cooked for dinner earlier that
night.
Last week on both Wednesday and
Thursday night I ended up staying past the end of my shift, sitting
and talking with Ford while he ate. We didn’t talk any more about
Maggie or my dad. Instead Ford asked lots of questions about my
classes and where I wanted to go to medical school. I talked about
Brooke and could even laugh about some of the predicaments she had
gotten me into over the last couple of years.
She had tried to get me to go out with
her tonight, but I had to babysit my brothers. I’m not sure which
would be the lesser of two evils. Although I did promise to go to
the pub with her on Friday night. Apparently she was into some guy
who would be playing in a
was.
As if she knew where my thoughts were,
she pulled her hand back into her lap. Looking past me out the
window, she continued, “The day he died I said goodbye before I
left for school. He never got out of bed anymore, so I sat beside
him and told him about some stupid thing we were doing in art
class. If I had known I would never see him again, I would have
told him how much I loved him, how much I would miss him…” Her
voice trailed off and she quickly swiped at her eyes. A few more
tendrils had escaped from her bun to fall around her
face.
Offering me an apologetic smile, she
said, “Now I’m sorry. You probably didn’t want to know all
that.”
“No, I do,” I said, and I actually
meant it.
“I guess the point of my story is that
I wish I could have said goodbye. Right now, when you’re in the
middle of it all, it’s hard to see any good in this situation. But
from someone who didn’t have the chance to say goodbye, to say all
the things I wish I had said, having these months with your mom
truly is a blessing.”
Poppy fell silent and glanced at me
cautiously, probably trying to gauge whether she had pissed me off.
Had she not started with her story about her dad, I probably would
have been pissed to have anyone tell me this time was a blessing.
Hearing how she wished she had known that her dad was dying put
things in perspective for me. It wasn’t like the heavens opened and
light shone down around me, but it did make me think about what I
should do with the time I had left with my mom. Or more like what I
shouldn’t do - sulking, yelling, arguing.
It was going to be hard enough coming
to grips with the fact that my mom wouldn’t be around this time
next year or even six months from now. On top of that I had to
start acting like a normal person, which was something I hadn’t
done in almost three years.
Looking across the table at probably
the nicest person on the face of the planet, I decided to ask for
help. “My mom tells me I need to be nicer.”
The corner of her full mouth twitched
up, and her eyes lost some of the cautiousness that had been there
since I showed up in her yoga class. “My mom tells me I’m too
nice.”
“Maybe we could be friends and help
each other out.”
That got a laugh from her, and it felt
good.
“Okay, we can be friends, but right
now I have get to class,” she said, standing up.
When I came to find her this morning,
I wanted to apologize and get the hell out. Somehow I ended up
doing yoga, drinking coffee and wishing she didn’t have to leave
yet. Standing up with her, I held out my hand to seal our
deal.
“Friends it is. I promise not to yell
at you.”
She shook my hand and walked to the
door, looking back over her shoulder. “Smile more too. It looks
good on you.”
Chapter Five
Poppy
I had my doubts after our talk at the
coffee shop, but Ford was serious about trying to be nicer and
about us being friends. We weren’t exactly sharing our deepest
darkest secrets, but he did stop avoiding me. When I arrived at
2:00, he hung around until ten minutes before his shift. After he
was done with work at 11:00 he came right home. Maggie was always
in bed for a long time by then, and I heated up a plate of food for
Ford. Whatever I had cooked for dinner earlier that
night.
Last week on both Wednesday and
Thursday night I ended up staying past the end of my shift, sitting
and talking with Ford while he ate. We didn’t talk any more about
Maggie or my dad. Instead Ford asked lots of questions about my
classes and where I wanted to go to medical school. I talked about
Brooke and could even laugh about some of the predicaments she had
gotten me into over the last couple of years.
She had tried to get me to go out with
her tonight, but I had to babysit my brothers. I’m not sure which
would be the lesser of two evils. Although I did promise to go to
the pub with her on Friday night. Apparently she was into some guy
who would be playing in a
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