Read Online For The Death Of Me by Quintin Jardine - Free Book Online

that didn’t do anything to me, especially with the kids around. Yet when I’d seen her earlier, in the Columbus, changed from the more formal dress into her casuals, almost exactly the way she was dressed the first time we ever met, I will admit now that it gave me an instant boner . . . and she had known it.
    My dad would live. The longer we sat there the more confident of that I became, the more my faith in Mac Blackstone’s immortality restored itself. I had a feeling that I might need him too, most of all for the moral kick up the arse which only he can give me.
    I smiled at the thought, and at all the day’s drama and ironies. I smiled too because what should have been righteous anger at Dylan’s deception and return had been muted by the fact that I actually liked the guy; I’d missed him too.
    There were all those things going through my head, but there was something else, something much bigger, something that had been with me for a year. Part of me wanted to let it lie dormant, to push it out of my mind and get on with my life. The trouble was that, however hard I pushed, it wouldn’t go away. Maybe I wouldn’t have confronted it, but that wasn’t my decision alone.
    After a while, quite a long while, I glanced at my watch. Being rich, I have a few, but my favourite is a titanium Breitling Aerospace, very light and with a black face and hands and numbers so luminous that they can glow even in daylight. It showed ten past three.
    Ellie was still snoozing, slightly audibly, in her chair. I glanced at Mary, just at the moment she turned to look at me. Our eyes met. ‘It’s taking a long time,’ she whispered.
    â€˜It’s bound to,’ I told her. ‘They explained all that. This sort of surgery is usually planned, but Dad’s in a critical condition. If it takes all night and all day, so be it, as long as it’s effective.’
    â€˜I suppose so. It’s hard, though, the waiting.’
    â€˜Tom Petty,’ I murmured.
    â€˜What?’
    â€˜ “The Waiting Is The Hardest Part.” It’s a song by Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers; great band, great lyric.’
    â€˜You can be flippant about everything, can’t you?’
    There was an edge to her voice. Neither of us had ever admitted it, but there had always been a certain tension between Mary and me. It went all the way back to my childhood, when Jan and I were kids together, or, more specifically, to our teenage years. It wasn’t that I felt she disliked me, but there was something in the way she looked at me, a wariness that I didn’t understand then, and that hurt me a little. It wasn’t mutual, that’s for sure. For my part, I liked Mary. That frisson had carried on into adulthood; then it altered a bit. After Alex More, Mary’s husband, left her, and after my mother died, when she and my father grew close, I suppose there was a little private resentment on my part. Yet it didn’t overlap the other thing; that was still there, until Prim appeared on the scene.
    Mary was pleased. My self-esteem didn’t let me deal with it at the time, but she was pleased that somebody had come between me and Jan.
    Her pleasure was short-lived, though, for what was between the two of us was too strong; in fact, it was stronger than either of us understood. In the end we simply accepted it and gave in happily to the inevitable. If Mary had been as happy, it would have made my day, but she wasn’t. It only showed itself to me, though. As far as I knew, Jan never had a clue.
    â€˜A joke? Where’s the joke? I don’t understand that.’
    â€˜You’ve always been flip, Oz. Your first reaction has always been a throwaway line, a pitch for a quick laugh.’
    I felt my eyes narrow. ‘Mary, if you think I find anything laughable about my dad lying on that operating slab, you don’t know me in the slightest. But you’ve never really known me,